Transcript:The Prince and the Product

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Transcript for
The Prince and the Product
Written by	Ari John Kaplan & Eric Kaplan
Transcribed by	Jasonbres

[Opening Credits. Caption: If you can read this, you're too far from the screen.]

[Scene: Planet Express conference room. Closeup on a large regally decorated package with an emblem of a planet with blue rings around it wearing a crown. Zoom out to the crew's impressed reactions.]

All: Whoa...

Zoidberg: It's a box fit for a king, it is!

Hermes As it should be. We are delivering it to the King of Space himself.

Fry: A real-life king? This could be my big chance to grovel!

[Scene: Space. The Planet Express ship flies onto an asteroid covered with a castle, a moat, and greenery. A fanfare is played by three tiny gnomes, which the ship's door crushes.]

[Scene: The King's throne room. Fry, Bender, and Leela wheel the package in with the dolly.]

Bender: Ooh! Swanky dump!

[Fry approaches the King's feet.]

Fry: Your delivery, my liege. [He kisses the rings on the King's toes.]

King: Now, this guy knows how to grovel.

Fry: Yes!




King: At last. The portrait of my late wife has arrived. Careful! It's delicate!

[Bender uses a crowbar to break the crate open and reveal a macaroni art portrait of the Queen.]

King: Infinita, Queen of Space. Not even the finest macaroni artist could capture your beauty. Although this one did. [pointing to the mantel] Hang it over there!

[Fry and Leela lift the art, Fry with a bit more effort than usual.]

Fry: Sorry. It's my early-onset sciatica.

[A herald trumpeter enters and blows a fanfare.]

Herald: Announcing His Royal Highness, the Prince of Space!

Prince: Allow me to help your elderly friend.

[The Prince lifts Fry up and Leela gazes into his eyes as his tusks glisten. He drops Fry, as the picture becomes crooked.]

Fry: Wow. This absolute stud sure made me look like a wimp, huh, Leela? You guys straighten that together while I explain our loyalty punch card program to His Majesty.

[Scene: The castle. Cut back to inside the castle as Fry is still explaining the program to the King.]

King: I still don't understand. Ten punches, and I get 10% off?

Fry: No, no. It's nothing like that. Let N be the number of punches.

[Fry looks behind him as the Prince walks through the door carrying a lovelorn Leela past the threshold.]

Fry: Leela, where were you? It's been, like, thirty minutes.

Leela: I was falling in love with the Prince of Space. We're getting married!

[Fry reacts in horror.]

Leela: I know this is very sudden, Fry. I'll always remember the times we had that I haven't already forgotten.

Fry: But, but, I love you! And I can't afford to live without you! [he gets into a fetal position and sobs]

[Suddenly, the episode is interrupted by a sponsor spot.]

Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by... Windos! The toy so fun, it makes fun look like boredom!

Jingle Singer 1: Windos, Windos
Wind 'em and watch 'em run
Windos, Windos
Roughly a minute of... fun

[Scene: A wind-up version of the Planet Express building. A Windo dog chases a Windo cat outside.]

[Scene: Windo versions of Amy, the Professor, Hermes, Leela, and Bender approach the toy conference table.]

Windo Farnsworth: Good news, Windos!

[The Windos keep walking into the table.]

Windo Farnsworth: Today, we're delivering sushi to Mrs. McDoogal.



:[The projector on the table lowers down and is replaced with wind-up sushi, which rolls away.]

Windo Bender: Another job well done.

[The Windo version of Fry walks in very slowly and yawns.]

Windo Leela: Are you okay, Fry?




Windo Fry: Eh. I'm just a little run down.

Windo Leela: Run down? I'm sure it's nothing, but you should see a doctor.

[Scene: Windo Zoidberg's office.]

Windo Zoidberg: Run down? I'm sure it's nothing, but you should see a doctor. Oh, me! Right. Let's take a listen.

[Windo Zoidberg takes his stethoscope and listens to Windo Fry's key.]

Windo Zoidberg: Dear God, no!

[Windo Fry looks back at Windo Zoidberg in horror.]

Windo Zoidberg: Pretend you didn't hear that.

[Scene: Back at the Windo conference room. Everyone is gathered around Windo Fry.]

Windo Hermes: Are you sure, Dr. Zoidberg? I mean, you're usually wrong.

Windo Zoidberg: Of course, I'm sure. Fry's mainspring is nearly wound down.

[Everyone gasps.]

Windo Farnsworth: Oh, dear. It must have been all that time Fry spent cryogenically frozen.

[Flashback: Eternal Springs Cryonics. A Windo recreation of the unfreezing scene from "Space Pilot 3000".]

Windo Farnsworth: [voiceover] For a thousand years, he was slowly pacing and winding down.

[The Windo Cryogenic tube winds down to zero and opens. Windo Fry emerges from the tube making the same groaning noises from the pilot.]

Windo Terry: Welcome to the world of Windos!

[Scene: Back at the conference room.]

Windo Farnsworth: It was a one-way ticket to Oldsville! Last exit before Deathburg!

[Windo Leela approaches Windo Fry.]

Windo Leela: [through tears] I'm so sorry, Fry. We'll take it day-by-day.

Windo Zoidberg: I'd suggest minute-by-minute.

Windo Fry: Well, don't be sad. I've had a full life. I eated. I prayed. I loveded. I'm at peace.

Windo Bender: At peace? At peace?! [shakes Windo Fry] You selfish jerk! You're my best friend! Promise you won't leave me!

Windo Fry: I can't help winding down.

Windo Bender: That's crazy talk! You need spiritual guidance!

[Scene: A toy version of the Temple of Robotology. The symbol of the religion turns to open the temple. Windo Fry and Windo Bender approach the Windo Preacherbot in his chambers.]

Windo Bender: You gotta help him, Reverend. Do you have any way to calm my friend's terror of mortality?

Windo Preacherbot: Can religion calm the terror of mortality? That's our home run swing! After you wind down, you rise up! You spread your wings and fly around Heaven forever, as an angel.

Windo Bender: [sniffles] Really? A-And we can do loop-de-loops?

Windo Preacherbot: Well, no, not…

Windo Bender: Loop-de-loops, you say? Huh. Well, maybe Fry can face death after all.

Windo Preacherbot: Bender, my son. Heaven's not a actual place the way Hell is. It's a metaphor for how the soul lives on in the hearts of those who love us.

Windo Bender: "Metaphor"? Isn't that just a fancy word for "steaming load"?

Windo Preacherbot: I wouldn't call it fancy.

[Scene: The Windo conference table. The gang is gathered around.]

Windo Bender: [sobs] Ah, Preacherbot gave me nothing! Can no one help me?

Windo Amy: Well, some say there's a guru high in the—

Windo Bender: Some say it? Let's go!

[Scene: The Windo snowy mountains. The Windo Planet Express crew is trekking the snowy terrain. They stop for shelter in a cavern.]

Windo Fry: [shivers] I can't go much further. Escaping from that wind-up Yeti used most of my remaining power. [He collapses onto the ground.]

Windo Bender: [gasps] Fry!

Windo Fry: Goodbye, friends. Maybe we'll meet again in a better metaphor.

[Windo Fry's key stops turning as Bender attempts to wind it up again, but to no avail.]

Windo Leela: Bender, he's gone. It's over.

Windo Bender: Never! I'm gonna give him spring-to-spring resuscitation!

[Windo Bender places his key into a hole in the cavern as he spins and winds up Windo Fry at rapid speed. Windo Fry wakes up.]

Windo Fry: Wha... What happened? Am I alive?

Windo Farnsworth: If you were dead, how could you ask such a dumb question? You're as alive and stupid as ever.

[The crew cheers.]

Windo Amy: You saved him, Bender! You're a hero!

Windo Bender: [weakly] Shut up, baby, I know it. [wheezes]

Windo Zoidberg: Are you okay, robit?

Windo Bender: [groans] Never better! Wound up tight and full of [slowing] spring…

[Windo Bender winds down and leans forward, but lifts up his eye visor briefly.]

Windo Bender: Goodbye, sweet jerks.

[Windo Bender tumbles down the mountain to his demise.]

Windo Fry: Bender! Nooooo!

[Windo Bender keeps tumbling until he breaks apart and all his parts end up in the molten hot lava of a geographically incorrect volcano, and his parts melt.]

Windo Farnsworth: Now, that's dead.

[Scene: Back at the mountains. The Windo crew watch Bender's part continue to melt in the lava.]

Windo Fry: Bender saved my life, and now he's gone. What does it all mean?

Windo Hermes: It means life is meaningless. Lesson learned! Let's hit the road.

[The Windo crew, except Fry, turn to leave.]

Windo Fry: No! I need answers! I'm continuing up to that guru, no matter how long the journey...
Ow! [He bumps into the Windo version of the Gypsy-bot.] Are you the guru of the mountain?

Windo Gypsy: For a quarter, I'm a guru. For a nickel, you get a sticker that says you climbed the mountain.

Windo Fry: [searching his pockets] My friend wound down and fell in a volcano. Is that the end? Just nothingness? I found a quarter.

[He winds up the Windo quarter and inserts it into the slot, and winds her box.]

Windo Gypsy: Take solace, for the spirit of your friend is eternal. It will be reincarnated in other bodies, growing and learning as it goes... Some say.

[During this, we pan down to see Windo Bender's melted remains get shaped into a propeller. Cut back to Windo Fry and the crew.]

Windo Fry: Reincarnation? That sounds like another big, steaming load.

Windo Gypsy: Load? Perhaps. Steaming? Perhaps not.

[The Windo crew see a plane shadow flying over them.]

Windo Amy: [gasps] Look!

[In the Sky, Windo Bender has been reincarnated into a Windo Plane.]

Windo Plane Bender: I'm back, baby! And I'm doing loop-de-loops! Woo! Woo! [giggling]

Windo Fry: Maybe, in some weird way, the soul really is eternal.

WIndo Plane Bender: Bite my enlightened metal ass, mortality! I'm 40% aerodynamic!

Windo Hermes: [panicking as he sees his Windo calculator] That's not aerodynamic enough!

[The Wind Plane Bender keeps doing loop-de-loops until he crashes into a hillside and explodes in a giant fireball.]

Windo Hermes: Eh, it's fine. He'll be something else in a minute.

[Cut to the last shot of the ad, showing the Windo versions of the crew and the Bender Plane.]

Announcer: Collect all 293! And now, back to our program!


:[Scene: The King of Space's throne room. Fry is still crying.]

King: Marriage? I forbid it! She is a space commoner!

Fry: [relieved] Whew. That was a close one. Let's head home, honey.

[Fry looks at Leela as she hugs in the Prince's arms.]

Fry: No. No one is "head home, honey"ing anywhere!

Leela: What? Why?

Prince: What?

King: Why?!

Fry: Because Leela's not common! She's brave and good and articulate.




Leela: [contradicting Fry's last adjective] Blah?

Fry: How can you stand in the way of true love, Your Majesty? [He walks toward the portrait of the Queen.] Space Queen Infinita would be ashamed of you.

[Fry punches the wall, and parts of the macaroni fall off into a conveniently placed boiling cauldron.]

King: How dare you!

Fry: I've never been so angry and hungry. [He tastes some of the macaroni.] She needs salt.

King: My wife needs no seasoning! I challenge you to a duel!

Fry: I accept! And if I win, the wedding is on.

King: And if I win, your head is off!

[Leela and the Prince look at each other in concern. Once again, the show is interrupted by another sponsor.]

Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by... Round Wheels! The only toy car with wheels!

Jingle Singer 2: Go, go, Round Wheels
(Buy, buy Round Wheels)
Go buy Round Wheels
(Wheels sold separately
Roll Round Wheels,
Roll, roll Round Wheels
Roll Round Wheels
Roll, roll Round Wheels)

[Scene: A Round Wheels version of the Planet Express building. A Round Wheels dog chases a Round Wheels cat. The Round Wheels Professor bumps into both of them and goes up the track.]

[Scene: The Round Wheels conference room. The Professor joins the rest of the Round Wheels crew on the turntable.]

Round Wheels Farnsworth: Good news, Round Wheels! We're delivering a piece of replacement track to Saturn.

[The Round Wheels crew cheers.]




Round Wheels Farnsworth: And everybody is going. All of us!

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Yay!

Round Wheels Farnsworth: Except one, since only six can fit in the shipmobile.

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Well, I stayed behind last time, so—

Round Wheels Hermes: I suggest Zoidberg.

All but Round Wheels Zoidberg: Second!

[Round Wheels Zoidberg sighs.]

[Scene Outside the playset. The garage opens and the shipmobile is lifted onto the track, and heads up.]

[Scene: The playset version of space. The stars and sky are crudely taped pieces of construction paper with badly made stars. The shipmobile rotates around Earth and approaches Saturn. Round Wheels Bender bends the track and attaches it to Saturn's ring.]

Round Wheels Amy: Should we test it out?


:[The Round Wheels crew cheers in agreement. We get a montage of the crew testing out the track.]

Jingle Singer 2: Go, go, Round Wheels!
(Buy, buy Round Wheels!)
Go buy Round Wheels
(Wheels sold separately!

Roll Round Wheels!)

[Zoom out to reveal Round Wheels Zoidberg with tears in his headlights, which his wipers wipe away.]

[Scene: The Round Wheels Planet Express living room. Everyone but Round Wheels Zoidberg is seated on the couch. On the floor is one of those kids' road map play carpets.]

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Why doesn't anybody like me?

Round Wheels Hermes:You're depressed, you're depressing, and you talk while we're tryin' ta watch TV!

[On the TV is Route 2 News.]

Round Wheels Linda: The high-speed chase finally came to an end when friction caused the cars to gradually slow down. Morbo?

Round Wheels Morbo: In local news, countless victims have died after viewing a mysterious video circulating online.

Round Wheels Linda: Let's see some of that video.

[On the video are images of a tire manhole, a blue Round Wheels, a traffic jam at the DMV, the tire manhole opening, a purple Round Wheels being keyed, and the blue Round Wheels suddenly spinning upside-down with TV static in his headlights.]

Round Wheels Morbo: The video is invariably followed by an equally mysterious phone call. Scientists say anyone who answers the call will die tragically within hours.

[Round Wheels Amy's phone rings.]

Round Wheels Amy: Can you pause it? I'm getting a call.

[The rest of the crew panic to tell Round Wheels Amy not to answer it.]

Round Wheels Leela: Stop!

[Round Wheels Amy answers it. On the phone is the very ominous number 666-666-6666.]

Round Wheels Amy: Hello?

Voice on phone: Your car warranty has expired. Press one now, whether or not you want to renew.

[Amy presses one and here headlights are replaced by TV static.]

[Scene: Playset New New York. Round Wheels Amy absentmindedly rolls into a building labeled "Warranties Я Us. She stops at the gate barrier.]

Round Wheels Amy: Yes, I'm here to pick up my extended warranty. I have a 3:00 AM appointment.


:[The gate barrier raises and Round Wheels Amy rolls through. But the barrier chops her up into pieces.]

[Scene: The Planet Express building playset, the next day.]

[Scene: The garage. Round Wheels Fry and Round Wheels Leela are moving some packages.]

Round Wheels Leela: Have you seen Amy since that creepy video and chilling phone call?

[Round Wheels Fry's phone rings.]

Round Wheels Fry: No, but my phone's ringing. Maybe it's her. [he answers it, and the same ominous phone number appears] Y'ello? What? [to Round Wheels Leela] I don't recognize the chilling voice.

Round Wheels Leela: Put it on speakerphone.

[Round Wheels Fry does so.]

Voice on phone: ...am sorry to inform you your car warranty has expired.

Round Wheels Fry: We don't want any! [hangs up] What do they think, we're idiots?

[Round Wheels Fry and Round Wheels Leela laugh, but their headlights also get filled with TV static.]

[Scene: Warranties Я Us. Round Wheels Fry and Round Wheels Leela approach the building as the barrier chops both of them up as well.]

[Scene: The Round Wheels conference room turntable. Only the Round Wheels Professor, Round Wheels Bender, Round Wheels Hermes, and Round Wheels Zoidberg are left.]

Round Wheels Hermes: Some ancient horror is picking us off one by one, starting with the most gullible. Who will be next?

Round Wheels Bender: Hermes, quit frightening me while I'm on the phone.

[Round Wheels Bender's headlights also get filled with TV static as he revs away.]

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Goodbye, robit!

Round Wheels Farnsworth: Wait! I have a desperate idea! We'll race after Bender, and let him lead us to the monster's den of terror!

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Hurray! Road trip to the monster's den!

Round Wheels Hermes: Except you, Zoidberg. Someone has to stay behind to answer the phones.

[Round Wheels Professor and Round Wheels Hermes drive off.]

[Scene: New New York playset. Round Wheels Bender speeds away as Round Wheels Professor and Round Wheels Hermes follow him.]

Round Wheels Farnsworth: Come on! We'll pick up speed on the downhill since we have no motors!

[They follow Round Wheels Bender, who approaches the loop-de-loop tracks.]

Round Wheels Bender: Woo! I'm doin' loop-de-loops!

Round Wheels Farnsworth:[panting] I'm not gonna make it! Go on without me!

Round Wheels Hermes: That was my plan.

[Round Wheels Farnsworth falls off the track and lands in one piece.]

Round Wheels Farnsworth: I'm okay!


:[Round Wheels Hermes runs over Round Wheels Farnsworth, who breaks into pieces.]

[Scene: Warranties Я Us. Round Wheels Bender approaches the building.]

Round Wheels Bender: Yes, I'm here for the free scam.

[Once again, the barrier chops Round Wheels Bender into pieces. Round Wheels Hermes watches one of Round Wheels Bender's wheels bounce away.]

Round Wheels Hermes: Hm... I'll have to drop it and limbo under dat arm.

[Round Wheels Hermes drops his wheels and limbos as sneaky steel drum music plays. He wheels into the building.]

Round Wheels Hermes: Sweet Subaru of Timbuktu! It's a chop shop!


:[A shadowy Round Wheels approaches behind the wreckage.]

Round Wheels Hermes: Wh-Who are you?

[The shadowy Round Wheels comes into the light to reveal…]

Round Wheels Zoidberg: It's me, Zoidberg.

Round Wheels Hermes: Oh, thank goodness. I was afraid it was the villain.

Round Wheels Zoidberg: I am the villain!

Round Wheels Hermes: No. Villains have more charisma. You're just boring.

Round Wheels Zoidberg: No one ever included me. [He emerges fully out of the shadows to reveal parts of the other Round Wheels crew attached to him.] So, I included all of you, why not? Now, I have Fry's roof rack, Amy's bumper, and, spoiler alert, Leela's spoiler!

Round Wheels Amy: Help, we're trapped!

Round Wheels Farnsworth: Inside Zoidberg! I'm the gas tank, by the way.

Round Wheels Zoidberg: And here's my latest acquisition. Bender's shiny metal muffler!

[He removes his muffler and replaces it with Round Wheels Bender's.]

Round Wheels Bender: [muffled] Bite my shiny metal... Oh, forget it!

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Now, I just need a piece of you, Hermes, and we'll all be friends together. Forever!

[Round Wheels Hermes gets raised up onto a platform.]

Round Wheels Hermes: Woo! Woo! I don't need my oil changed!


:[The platform smashes Hermes to pieces.]

Round Wheels Zoidberg: Snap in Hermes' hood, and... done! I'll never be alone again! [Zoom out to reveal Zoidberg's hood on the floor] Oop! Oop, hang on. I accidentally took off my mouth. Let me just put that back onto...


:[The Frankenstein Round Wheels runs Round Wheels Zoidberg's hood over, smashing him to pieces. The crew cheers.]

Round Wheels Hermes: Let's hit the track, people!

[The Frankenstein Round Wheels speeds out of the chop shop breaking the arm, but it crashes offscreen. We see the wreckage of the Round Wheels under sad music.]

Round Wheels Amy: Don't worry. I bought the warranty!

[Cut to the Frankenstein Round Wheels fully repaired zooming in playset space. Everyone laughs and cheers.]

Jingle Singer 2: Go, go, Round Wheels
(Buy, buy Round Wheels)
Go buy Round Wheels
(Wheels sold separately
Roll Round Wheels!
Roll, roll…)

[Cut to the splash screen showing the Round Wheels logo, the Round Wheels version of the crew as well as the Frankenstein car seen at the end.]

Announcer: And now, back to our program!

[Scene: The jousting grounds. Fry and the King are armored up. The herald smashes an asteroid with buildings on it like a gong.]

Herald: The duel of the King of Space versus the Fry of Earth shall now commence! Competitors, mount your lamassus!

[Fry approaches the yellow lamasu and offers him a carrot.]

Fry: Here you go, boy.

[The yellow lamasu munches on the carrot.]

Yellow lamasu: Mm. Thanks. That was really good.

[Fry scratches the lamasu's beard.]

King: Space shall run red with the blood of the commoner. [casually] Nice earrings, by the way. [He puts on his helmet.]

[Leela appears also armored up.]

Leela: I volunteer to fight in Fry's place, as his champion!

[The crowd gasps.]

Herald: [looking in a binder] The rule book does allow for a champion! This isn't the rule book, by the way. It's a takeout menu. I'm gonna have the pad Thai.

Fry: You can't fight for me, Leela. I'm fighting for you!

Leela: Fry, you're really bad at fighting.

Fry: That's true.

[Leela puts on the helmet, and activates her lightsaber lance. The King activates his and Leela lowers her helmet.]

Herald: [eating his pad Thai] Mm. Let the duel commence!

[The brown lamasu growls.]

Yellow lamasu: Roar.

[The duelists come at each other.]

Bender: [covering his eyes] I can't look! [uncovers his eyes] Oh, now I can.

[The duel continues as Leela jabs her lightsaber lance at the King, stabbing him. He falls off his lamasu. The crowd gasps, as the herald burps his pad thai.]

Brown lamasu: [sniffs] The King smells dead! Long live the King!

Leela: [removing her helmet] Yes! We can marry at last, my love! Sorry about murdering your father. [gasps]


:[Cut to reveal the King, very much alive, sitting at his throne.]

King: I, too, had a champion fight for me.

[Leela runs to the armored jouster, removes the lance and the helmet to reveal the body of the Prince.]

Leela: Oh, the prince! [gasps] I-I killed my true love!

Fry: No, I'm fine. Oh, you mean that guy.

[Leela sobs over the body of the Prince. Suddenly, without warning, we get another ad.]

Jingle singer 3: Rubber ducks, rubber ducks,
The perfect toy for bath time.
Never put live ducks
In your child's tub.

'Cause live ducks, live ducks
Will peck your child's eyes out.
So always choose rubber ducks
When you are choosing ducks.

[Scene: The bath toy version of the Planet Express building. A rubber duck dog chases a rubber duck cat.]

[Scene: The bath toy conference room. Rubber Duck versions of Fry, Zoidberg, Amy and Farnsworth float toward the lily pad shaped table.]

Rubber Duck Fry: Boy, that was a really long delivery. I thought we were gonna fall off the end of the water.

Rubber Duck Amy: The water doesn't have an end, numb duck. Haven't ya ever seen a map?

[She takes out a piece of paper the same color as the water.]

Rubber Duck Fry: Hm, I guess that looks pretty infinite. I'm convinced.

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: Well, I'm not! I made this map, and whole sections were based on old legends and random hunches. I propose a voyage of scientific exploration!

Rubber Duck Fry: Okay.

[Scene: The bath toy Planet Express building, which opens its back to launch a bath toy version of the Planet Express Ship. Rubber Ducks Farnsworth, Fry, Amy, and Zoidberg float behind it.]

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: To the edge of the water! If there is an edge.

Rubber Duck Zoidberg: And if not, an agonizing death with friends!

[Rubber Duck versions of Zapp and Kif appear.]

Rubber Duck Zapp: Make way for rubber ducklings.

[The bath toy Planet Express ship bumps into Rubber Duck Zapp spinning him out of the water and on his side.]

Rubber Duck Kif: [exasperated quack]

[Scene: The bath toy Planet Express ship is caught in the waves.]

Rubber Duck Zoidberg: Oy, how long have we been at sea?

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: Always!

Rubber Duck Amy: And how far have we traveled?

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: With no landmarks, it's hard to say. There's a good chance we never moved at all. Fry, check the spyglass.

[Rubber Duck Fry gets out a kaleidoscope. Through the hole, the blue scene changes into green and white.]

Rubber Duck Fry: Land ho!

Rubber Duck Amy: What's "land"?

Rubber Duck Fry: I dunno.

[Scene: The Planet Express ship approaches a plot of land with yet another toy Planet Express building with slides attached to it. The top of the building unveils versions of Bender, Leela, Hermes, and Scruffy that resemble Weebles, but here, are called Eggulons. They go down the blue slide.]

Eggulon Bender, Leela and Hermes: Wheeeeeee!

Eggulon Scruffy: Yep. Mm-hmm.

Eggulon Leela: Father, what is that unusual piece of land floating toward us?

Eggulon Bender: [gasps] It be invaders! Take shelter in the Fun-Time Beach House!

Eggulon Leela: But, I see a stranger, and his bill looks gentle and kind.

[Rubber Duck Fry looks through his kaleidoscope at Eggulon Leela. His eyes pop into the shape of hearts.]

Rubber Duck Zoidberg: Look at his eyeballs! It's the scurvy!

[Cut to the Rubber Ducks approaching the Eggulon land.]

Eggulon Hermes: What strange folk. Do you come in peace?

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: We're still deciding! [to the other Rubber Ducks] I don't trust these land wobblers. Let's just trade our guns for tobacco and get out of here.

Eggulon Bender: Alright, rubber flockers. Turn around and float back where you came from!

Rubber Duck Amy: Never! [to Farnsworth] Peck him until he falls down!

[Rubber Duck Professor pecks and quacks at Eggulon Bender, who laughs, but as the old song reminds us, he wobbles but he doesn't fall down.]

Eggulon Leela: Stop! Stop this madness! Kind strangers, welcome to our land. We call it "Land".

Rubber Duck Fry: That's so interesting. We call our land "Water".

Eggulon Leela: Won't you join us for a turducky dinner?

Rubber Duck Zoidberg: Sure. What's in it?

[Scene: The dinner table. A rubber turkey is carved to reveal a rubber chicken and Rubber Duck Zoidberg inside. Pull out to reveal everyone at the table, now joined by Eggulon versions of Lrrr, Hattie and Hedonismbot.]

Rubber Duck Fry: My name's Fry. Is that your name, too?

Eggulon Leela: No, I'm Leela. What are you doing?

[Zoom out to reveal Rubber Duck Fry attempting to wobble in the same direction as Eggulon Leela.]

Rubber Duck Fry: Trying to gaze into your eye. I've never seen anyone like you. I saw a fish once, though. It was cool.

[Scene: The Eggulon moon wobbling in the night sky. Pan down to show Rubber Duck Fry and Eggulon Leela at the top of the blue slide.]

Eggulon Leela: Oh, Fry. I'm falling head over heels in love with you. Except I can't fall, and I don't have heels.

[Rubber Duck Fry kisses Eggulon Leela. They pull apart to reveal the other guests at the table angry.]

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: Have you gone land crazy, Fry? In our culture, interspecies love is forbidden!

Eggulon Bender: Oh, yeah? Well, in our culture, we believe a woman's sexuality is her own decision!

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: [stammering] Okay, then. [resumes eating]

Eggulon Bender: But I, as an individual, strongly disagree with that view and am deeply offended!

[Everyone gasps.]

Rubber Duck Farnsworth: This means war!

Eggulon Bender: War? Well, we don't have that word, but this definitely means peace-fighting!

[The Eggulons and Rubber Ducks separate Eggulon Leela from Rubber Duck Fry.]

Eggulon Leela: Fry!

Rubber Duck Fry: Leela-Fry!

[Scene: The following day. The bath toy Nimbus floats in. The door opens, and Rubber Duck Zapp and Rubber Duck Kif lead an army of Rubber Duck Soldiers to battle. Cut to the Eggulon Planet Express, which opens the roof revealing their own Eggulon soldiers, who descend down the slides.]

Eggulon Soldiers: Whee! Two, three, four. Whee! Two, three...

[The Eggulons and Rubber Ducks attack each other. Rubber Duck Farnsworth uses a toy water squirter and squirts several soldiers and Eggulon Hermes, who has a bandage over his head. Cut to Eggulon Bender and Eggulon Scruffy at a cannon.]

Eggulon Bender: Rubber in the hole!

[The cannon fires and hits Rubber Duck Amy, who floats upside-down. Cut to Rubber Duck Zapp attacking Eggulon Hedonismbot, who seems to be enjoying this, as usual.]

Eggulon Hedonismbot: [laughing] Ooh, yes! That tickles.

[An explosion occurs. Several more explosions occur on the land hitting several Eggulon soldiers and Eggulon Hermes.]

Eggulon Hermes: And thus, wit' a final wobble, I do fall down. [He falls down and gags.]

[The water washes away all the dead bodies.]

[Scene: Later that night. Rubber Duck Fry and Eggulon Leela lie mortally wounded.]

Eggulon Leela: [gasps] This is the end! All is lost!

Rubber Duck Fry: No! Our love is eternal! It'll live on forever, even after it dies!

Eggulon Leela: That's so stupid, but also sweet. Like you.

Rubber Duck Fry: Goodbye. [he gives out a last quack]

Eggulon Leela: Goodbye. [she gags]

[The overhead camera spins on the bodies of Rubber Duck Fry and Eggulon Leela. Suddenly, Eggulon Leela rustles and cracks like an egg. It opens revealing a baby Rubber Duck baby version of Leela. The Rubber Duck Fry also rustles and rolls away revealing an Eggulon baby version of Fry. The two infants look at each other and wobble off into the sunset.]

[Splash screen of Eggulons.]

Announcer: Eggulons. Collect all 11! And now, what's left of Futurama!


:[Scene: The Planet Express ship flies away from the King of Space's castle. Cut to inside the ship. Fry approaches Leela.]

Fry: I'm sorry you killed the love of your life, Leela. It must have been horrible for you, the way your laser lance sliced him up like a watermelon.

Leela: It's okay, Fry. I wasn't really in love with him. I was under a spell.

Fry: Really? A magic spell?

[The Professor appears on the ship's monitor.]

Farnsworth: No! A science spell!

Leela: Oh…

Fry: Of course...

[Leela gets out of her seat to hug Fry. Zoom out to reveal the ship is now the shape of Bender, who once again does loop-de-loops.]

Ship Bender: Whee! Woo! Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah!

[The Bender ship crashes into the Earth and explodes.]

[Closing Credits.]

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