How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back



Production Number: 2ACV11

Title Caption: As fortold by Nostradamus

First Aired: April 2, 2000

Act I: I only gamble with chumps
Hermes finishes his work for the day and receives a letter from the Central Bureaucracy. Leela Invites Fry and Bender to a poker game she's having with her former co-workers from Applied Cryogenics, Zoidberg invites himself. Hermes is happy because tomorrow there will be an inspection, potentially allowing him to be promoted from grade 36 to grade 35. As the guests arrive Ipgee informs Leela that she's fired for being over a year late for work. The Applied Cryogenics staff catch Bender cheating and beat him up in Hermes' office. Hermes is horrified by the mess when he gets to work, then the inspector, Morgan Proctor, arrives and Hermes threatens to kill himself.

Act II: Mr. Bender about last night...
When Hermes is talked out of suicide Zoidberg suggests he goes to Spa 5 to recover. Morgan takes over Hermes' job. Morgan falls for Fry because he's a slob. LaBarbara and Hermes learn too late that Spa 5 is actually a forced labour camp. Morgan gives the crew worse jobs, except Fry who he gets a promotion. She then turns up at Fry and Bender's apartment to have sex. Bender catches them. The next day Morgan removes Bender's brain and sends it to the Central Bureaucracy for filing.

Act III: Stop hogging that healthy liver!
Fry along with Leela, Amy and the Professor head off to recover Bender's brain. Hermes begins organising the forced labour camp. The crew head to the Central Bureaucracy's filing room. Morgan says that it would be impossible to find the brain within the master "in" pile. Hermes arrives having organised the forced labour camp so well that all the labour is now done by a single Australian man and having been brought to the Central Bureaucracy by Zoidberg. Hermes has four minutes to sort the pile or be fired, which he does successfully, unfortunately he was too fast and so he is demoted to grade 38. Hermes then reveals a mistake made by Morgan, which gets him a promotion to grade 37 and his job back.

Bureaucrat song lyrics
Hermes: When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town with a foot and a half of water Everyone was alright, but I cried all night It blew my alphabet blocks out of order And they say this boy’s born to be a bureaucrat Born to be all obsessive and snotty I made my friends and relations file long applications To get into my tenth birthday party. Labarbara: But something changed when my man turned pro. Hermes: I was sorting but I wasn't smiling Labarbara: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks Hermes: It's supposed to be about the filing! People, We didn't choose to be bureaucrats No that's what our mighty Ja made us We treat people like swine and make them stand in line Even if nobody paid us They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats They say we're anal, compulsive and wierd But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love Even if it's not a good idea Zoidberg! Zoidberg: They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon Farnsworth: They poopooed my electric frankfurter Leela: They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye Bender: I am Bender please insert girder Hermes: Everybody sing Jamaica! All: Jamaica! Hermes: Just the bearuacrats - Jamaica! Bureaucrats: Jamaica! Hermes: Just the grade nineteens! Morgan Proctor: ...Jamaica. Hermes: Sing me home, When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love Even if it's not a good idea!

Trivia

 * The forced labour camp's sign reads "Spa 5 Fitness camp: recommended by Dr. Zoidberg". This, as well as the Australian slave's admission, suggests that most of the workers were provided by Zoidberg.
 * Grade 1.0 was used to leave a possibility for higher ranks with lower decimals.

Quotes
Fry: Uh, I can explain that. See, it used to be milk and, well, time makes fools of us all. Leela: Then we'll need a guide. Someone who's been there before. Farnsworth: Oh, I've been there. Lots of times! [He laughs maniacally.]
 * Fry: Jamaican? I thought you were some kinda outer-space potato man.
 * Hermes: Sweet something of ... of someplace.
 * Morgan: Why is there yoghurt in this cap?
 * Farnsworth: You can't just waltz into the Central Bureaucracy. It's a tangled web of red tape and regulations. I've never been, but a friend of mine went completely mad trying to find the washroom there.
 * Hermes: When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love, even if it's not a good idea!

Outside References

 * The floating head is based on a creature from Dungeons and Dragons, a so-called Beholder.

Fast Forward

 * The Australian slave reappears in A Pharaoh to Remember.

Goofs

 * The hover-car screeches to a halt.
 * Hermes badge number occasionally fluctuates incorrectly.

Characters
(In alphabetical order)


 * Amy
 * Debut: Australian Guy
 * Bender
 * Debut: Number 1.0
 * Fry
 * Hermes
 * Ipgee
 * LaBarbara Conrad
 * Leela
 * Lou
 * Debut: Morgan Proctor
 * Prof. Farnsworth
 * Terry
 * Zoidberg

Episode Credits

 * Writer
 * Bill Odenkirk
 * Director
 * Mark Ervin
 * Voice Actors
 * Billy West
 * Katey Sagal
 * John DiMaggio
 * Tress MacNeille
 * Phil LaMarr
 * Lauren Tom
 * David Herman
 * Dawnn Lewis
 * DVD Commentary
 * Matt Groening
 * David X. Cohen
 * Rich Moore
 * Bill Odenkirk
 * Paul Calder
 * John DiMaggio
 * Special Guest
 * Nora Dunn