Transcript:Yo Leela Leela


 * [Note: This transcript is based on the Comedy Central video Tickelodeon Kids Network of 14 July, 2011.]
 * [Scene: Cookieville Minimum-Security Orphanarium, day.]
 * [Cut to: Inside an office. The walls display a bulletin board and a frame above which there seems to be a note. A potted plant and a clock are on top of a filing cabinet with four drawers. Warden Vogel is sitting at a desk, on which there is a computer and a lamp, looking at the computer. A trash bin is between the filing cabinet and the desk. Leela enters with a set of paper sheets in her hands.]

Leela: Warden Vogel, I have a new story for the children. [Warden Vogel looks up at Leela.] I'm sure they'll like it more than my last one. Warden Vogel: They liked hunger cramps more than your last one. Anyhow, you'll have to wait. The kids are busy right now. Leela: Oh. Is the organ-harvesting clown here? Warden Vogel: Nah. Rusty comes on Tuesdays now. Today, it's the owner of the Tickelodeon Kids Network.
 * [Cut to: Inside a room. A device with rabbit ears and eyes is wired to a television set, which is on top of a shelf with four wheels sustaining a mask and a suit. Behind it is another shelf. Abner Doubledeal is standing up, resting his left hand on the television set, which is to his left. Seven children, including Albert and Nina, can be seen in front of him, sitting on the floor.]

Abner Doubledeal: Okay, kids. [Abner Doubledeal points at the children with his right hand.] Get ready to be subjected to our new Fall shows! Mr. Funny Bunny here will gauge your reaction by bombarding your brains with harmless snuggle rays.
 * [Abner Doubledeal puts on the mask and the suit and turns a dial on the device's back, producing noise and light. The children stare.]

Albert: He gives me a nice, warm feeling in my eyeballs!
 * [The television is turned on and zooms in and out on a building with a bell and a sign reading ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.]
 * [Cut to: The elementary school. Shots of a little boy and a little girl swing-riding, the bell, a little girl floor-sliding, and a turning hopscotch court are shown. The title card POPULAR SLUT CLUB appears on the screen.]

Male voice #1: Popular Slut Club.
 * [A hovercar resembling both a limousine and a cab with SCHOOL LIMO painted on its door arrives at the elementary school. A STOP sign is turned to the road. The door is opened and two little girls come out.]

Little girl #1: Oh, my God! ''[The second little girl takes off her glasses. The first little girl points to something in front of them.]'' There's Jake Thinkleburg! [The first little girl folds her hands.] He's so hot! [sad] I wish he wasn't my brother.
 * [The title card POPULAR SLUT CLUB appears on the screen again.]

Male voice #1: Popular Slut Club.
 * [Cut to: Inside the room. Eleven children can be seen now. They look hypnotised. Abner Doubledeal is holding a pad labelled FUN-O-GRAPH with a changing graph on it and presses the remote.]
 * [Cut to: Street. A car is parked in front of a drive-through menu. A flaming hamburger is flying around the menu.]

Male voice #2: Look! Up on the drive-through menu! It's Captain Mega Meat and his young ward Bottomless Boy!
 * [The hamburger, which has a face, limbs, and a cape, lands on the menu. A soda cup, which, too, has a face, limbs, and a cape, lands to its left. The title card CAPTAIN MEGA MEAT AND BOTTOMLESS BOY appears on the screen.]

Bottomless Boy: Hurry, Captain! [Bottomless Boy points at something in front of them.] A skinny kid needs our help! Captain Mega Meat: Supersize me!
 * [Captain Mega Meat is hit by lightning and is enlarged. The same happens to Bottomless Boy. Bottomless Boy burps.]
 * [Cut to: Inside the room. Abner Doubledeal presses the remote again.]
 * [Cut to: Inside an arena. The crowd is cheering. A brown-haired toddler and a blond toddler approach a crib serving as a ring. The shirt of one of the men in the crowd reads MOON.]

Male voice #3: From the Randy "Macho Man" Savage day-care centre in Atlanta, Georgia, it's Extreme Toddler Wrestling!
 * [The title card EXTREME TODDLER WRESTLING appears on the screen. Each toddler is put in the crib by an adult. The brown-haired toddler punches the blond toddler in the nose, picks up a folding high-chair, and uses it to repeatedly slam him, making him fall, and hit him on the buttocks. The television is turned off.]
 * [Cut to: Inside the room. Twelve children, including Sally and Sam, can be seen this time. Warden Vogel is now present as well. Abner Doubledeal takes off the mask and the suit and puts them back on the shelf as the children applaud.]

Abner Doubledeal: Thanks for the brain scans, kids. [Abner Doubledeal steers the shelf as he leaves.] Don't have any children for the next couple of days.