Transcript:The Prisoner of Benda


 * Linda: Tonight, at 11:00.
 * Morbo: Doom!
 * [Opening Credits: What happens in Stays in Cygnus X-1.]
 * [Scene: Planet Express, Lounge. Leela is looking at herself in a hand-held mirror.]
 * Leela: Boy, that thing's big. Fry, is my colossal eye too big?
 * [The rest of the crew is watching TV.]
 * Fry: No, it's what makes you you.
 * Leela: But it's so round, so hideously round.
 * Fry: Leela, listen. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever known.
 * Leela: Oh. So you only care about my looks?
 * Fry: No, I.... What?
 * Linda: [on TV.] Finally, New New York got a blast of class today as Nikolai, playboy ruler of the Robo-Hungarian Empire, arrived on his extravagant, -powered.
 * Nikolai: [on TV.] I'm just a humble emperor, with a big, big crown!
 * Bender: [He turns off the TV.] Of course I'm not planning to steal that crown!
 * Leela: What?
 * Bender: True. I've always dreamed of being an emperor. You know, for, and then forever. But heisting those jewels would be difficult.
 * Leela: You'd be stupid to try.
 * Bender: I'll need accomplices. A sexy vamp to distract and tie up the guard.
 * Amy: Never! [She walks away.]
 * Bender: A claw man to slip past the metal detector and cut the alarm wires.
 * Zoidberg Sorry, I'm set for life after that last job. [He takes an out of a bucket label "Aquariam Garbage" and wraps it around himself like a cravat.]
 * Bender: And finally, a chump, to be caught on video and later arrested.
 * Fry: As I told you on Sucker-Punch Day, I'm through being the chump.
 * Bender: Of course, it would all take split-second robotic timing. That's were I come in. You see, I own a watch. [He pulls out a .]
 * [Scene: Planet Express, The Professor workshop. Amy and Prof. Farnsworth are cleaning a machine.]
 * Farnsworth: There. This time I'm sure I've fixed the mind switcher.
 * Amy: Good, I'm sick of cleaning up those heaps of dead monkeys. But why would you want your mind in a new body.
 * Farnsworth: Well, as a man enters his 18th decade, he thinks back on the mistakes he's made in life.
 * Amy: Like the heaps of dead monkeys?
 * Farnsworth: Science cannot move forward without heaps! No, what I regret is the youth I wasted playing it safe.
 * Amy: I wasted my youth porking out.
 * Farnsworth: Yes, I remember. [He points to a picture of a fat Amy, captioned "2997 employee of the year".]
 * Amy: Would you please take that down? It's making me hungry.
 * Farnsworth: Funny, I could use a extra meat on my bones. [He moves his coat and shows that he is just skin and bones.] Wait a second, if we switch bodies, I could live life to the extreme, and you could indulge your demonic food lust.
 * Amy: [She gasps.] We are just the people this mind switcher was made for by us! [They sit in the chairs.] Wait, can I still change my mind?
 * Farnsworth: Let's find out. [He pushes a button.]
 * Amy [in Farnsworth’s body]: It didn't work you doddering old [She gasps.]
 * Farnsworth [in Amy’s body]: Ah! ! Dude, I bid you a fond cowabunga! I'm off to laugh at the Reaper. [He shuffles off. Cut to a mountain where he is party boarding. He hits a rock face and snow falls on him.] ''[Cut to Planet Express. Amy is eating substitute from a squeeze bottle. I'm sorry, Amy, but your body is just not up to the task. Also, I don't care for these boobs flapping everything way. Now quit your bologna-gargling and let's switch back to our original bodies.
 * Bender: Body switcher, eh? Mayhap the heist is back on. Who needs accomplices, if I can just use their bodies.
 * [Amy and the Professor sit in the machine. The Professor presses the body but the machine starts beeping. He presses multiple times.]
 * Amy [in Farnsworth’s body]: Professor, what's not happening?
 * Farnsworth [in Amy’s body]: Bad news, me. [He presses a button and a diagram of their brains comes up.] I failed to take into account the cerebral immune response.
 * Amy [in Farnsworth’s body]: You idiot!
 * Farnsworth [in Amy’s body]: Once two bodies have switch minds, they can never switch back. [A dramatic cord plays as Amy covers her mouth.] However, maybe they can. Maybe we can swap back by using a third body for temporary storage space.
 * Bender: I'm 60% storage space. [He bangs his chassis.]
 * Farnsworth [in Amy’s body]: Eh, wha? [He and Bender sit in the machine and switch bodies.]
 * Bender [in Amy’s body]: Well, I'm off to the royal yacht for a quick seduce-and-snatch. [He takes the pocket watch out of the Professor's chest cabinet.]
 * Amy [in Farnsworth’s body]: See ya!
 * Farnsworth [in Bender’s body]: Now then Amy, we'll simply switch bodies, and then we'll... We'll... No, I'd be back in my body, but then you and Bender would be switched. And the Amy and Bender bodies can't trade minds again, since they just did.
 * Amy [in Farnsworth’s body]: Oh no! Is it possible to get everyone back to normal using four or more bodies?
 * Farnsworth [in Bender’s body]: I'm not sure. I'm afraid we need to use... MATH.