Transcript:Zapp Dingbat


 * [Note: This transcript is based on the Countdown to Futurama post "The Treaty of Table 7" - of 29 May 2012.]
 * [Scene: A table overlooking Saturn.  On one side are Zapp and Kif and on the other are two creatures whose heads resemble shark fins.  In front of Zapp is a cocktail glass and in front of the two creatures are two regular glasses.]

Zapp: [speaking into something] Now, regarding this peace treaty, Admiral Chew&mdash; Kif: That's a napkin dispenser, sir. This is the universal translator.
 * [Kif places a universal translator from "A Clone of My Own" on the table and then one of its two speakers on each side.]

Zapp: Whatever. ''[Zapp drops the napkin dispenser - but Kif catches it. Zapp grabs his speaker.]'' Now, Admiral, in exchange for your promise not to attack us, we will grant you exclusive fishing rights in Supernova Scotia.
 * [The machine makes strange sounds. Kif looks at it.  One of the creatures - who has grabbed its speaker - makes similar sounds as it shrugs.]

Universal translator: Well, okay. Zapp: Excellent. We'll meet aboard my ship in one month to sign the Treaty of Table 7.
 * [Zapp points at the table. The machine makes more strange sounds.]

Universal translator: Table 7...
 * [The machines makes further sounds.]

Zapp: Now, watch, Kif, as I score a diplomatic coop by congratulating the admiral in 'is native tongue. Kif: Last time you tried that, the Mexican restaurant declared war on us. [Kif raises his hands, shrugs and crosses them.] I beg you! Just use the translator. Zapp: Kif...  Just trust me for once.
 * [Zapp makes burping sounds. The creatures look angry.  Kif looks scared.]

Universal translator: I'd like to spank your sister with a slice of baloney.
 * [Kif looks shocked. Zapp laughs nervously.]

Zapp: Oops.