War Is the H-Word

Fry and Bender are enrolled into the army and are forced into a battle against the Spheroids.

Act I: "War were declared"
Fry and Bender are visiting a 7¹¹ where they see an army sergeant get a 5% military discount. After being denied a similar discount because they are not in the military, Fry and Bender sign up, intending to quit after using the discount. Unfortunately, they are thwarted by the outbreak of war - they are stuck in the army. The crew accompany them to South Street Spaceport where the Nimbus, under the command of Zapp Brannigan, is made ready for the expedition. Leela wants to enlist, but Zapp refuses as the military has a strict men-only policy. The ship leaves for Spheron 1, the target of the operation, although no specific reason for the conflict becomes apparent. While the recruits go through their training, one is surpassing all the others: a purple-haired and purple-bearded man who always wears goggles, known as Lee Lemon. Zapp is instantly interested in him for reasons unclear to himself. The Nimbus reaches its destination, and the soldiers are unloaded onto the surface.

Act II: "The enemy - they're balls!"
It turns out that the enemy are enormous crowds of living balls who attack the Earthican troops by bouncing up and down on them. The soldiers defend themselves and inflict casualties with the enemy, Fry excels by an act of cowardice through which they are overrun. As a bomb is rolling into the Earthican lines, Bender throws himself onto the bomb so it detonates harmlessly inside his chest cabinet. The wounded are brought to a field hospital that has an air of M*A*S*H around it, Zoidberg is part of the surgical team and having his differences with iHawk. Zapp Brannigan makes Fry Kif's assistant for his cowardice. Meanwhile Bender is not too well, but Richard Nixon's head orders him fixed as he has some plans with him. Once Bender is whole again, he is sent on a mission of peace to the enemy leaders, the Brain Balls, and with him goes Earth's top peace negotiator, Henry Kissinger's Head. However, in the shower Fry and Lee Lemon overhear Zapp and Nixon planning to blow up the whole planet with a bomb hidden inside Bender, which is activated by Zapp with a remote control as Bender and Kissinger are already negotiating with the Brain Balls.

Act III: "Make Bender happy or he blows up the planet!"
The Earth troops are preparing to leave the planet, but Lee Lemon wants to know when the bomb will explode. It turns out it is voice-activated, and will trigger when Bender says the word that is on the first place of his Top Ten of most-used words: ASS. Lee Lemon and Fry steal a chopper to save Bender, but Zapp Brannigan tries to stop them. Lemon beats him up (giving him a black eye) and reveals himself to be Leela. She pilots the stolen chopper to the place of the negotiations, where she pushes Fry out of the vehicle so he can land and save Bender. Fry is just in time to prevent Bender from saying the A-word so he won't blow them all to the H-word. Bender promptly uses the new situation to put the screws on the Brain Balls, who give in to Earths demands in order to prevent Bender from blowing up the whole planet. The balls leave Spheron 1, the war is over. Back at Planet Express, the Professor and Zoidberg are unable to remove the bomb, so they reset the word that triggers it - a word from the list of words Bender almost never uses. Bender is curious to know what word it is, but the crew think it is better if he doesn't know. Bender, however, is now set on finding out the word, and as he finds it, the bomb goes off. (The word was "antiquing".)

Reception
This episode was named #5 on 's list of top 25 Futurama episodes, and #4 on 's list of top 10 Futurama episodes.

Trivia

 * The episode’s original airing was interrupted by coverage of the results of the Florida  2000 Presidential Election. Unfortunately, the interruption came a minute before the very end of the episode, right before the audience was to learn Bender’s fate after supposedly triggering the bomb on Earth.
 * Bender’s Top Ten Most Frequently Uttered Words in full:
 * 10. Chump
 * 9. Chumpette
 * 8. Yours
 * 7. Up
 * 6. Pimpmobile
 * 5. Bite
 * 4. My
 * 3. Shiny
 * 2. Daffodil
 * 1. Ass
 * Bender's actual top 10 words based on transcript are:
 * 1: bender (104)
 * 2: fry (85)
 * 3: robot(s) (81)
 * 4: human(s) (52)
 * 5: whoa (50)
 * 6: love (47)
 * 7: god (!42!)
 * 8: ass (39)
 * 9: old (38)
 * 10: kill (30)
 * Bender says every one of these words at least once in the episode.
 * Bender believes his least frequently uttered words to be:
 * 8. Please
 * 7. Thanks
 * 6. Sorry
 * 5. Funderful
 * 4. Non-alcoholic
 * 3. Compassion
 * 2. Shrimp-Toast
 * 1. Antiquing
 * At the end, Bender says “I’m all right,” but the captions say “Hootenanny?”. The Region 2 DVD shows the correct words.
 * At the beginning of the episode, Fry is shown looking at these gum brands, contemplating which to buy:
 * Spider Yum, a reference to the urban legend that  brand gum contained spider eggs.
 * Hubble Bubble, a cross reference between the Hubble Telescope and ', plus a possible reference to '.
 * Liquid Nitrogum, a parody on.
 * Big Pink, a parody of . Fry chooses this because it is the only gum with the breath freshening power of ham. And, according to Bender, it "pinkens your teeth while you chew."
 * Oozy F___, a parody of .
 * This is the second episode in which the words "ding dong" are mentioned in the same room as Nixon, the first being "A Head in the Polls".
 * The recruiting poster outside the recruitment centre says "Join the Army - What are you, chicken? Buk buk buk". Inside we see a poster of a flag-draped coffin labeled "Employee of the Month".
 * The army's men-only policy is accentuated by propaganda posters, slogan Round hips sink ships, a reference to World War II posters saying Loose lips sink ships warning against possible German agents.
 * Zapp states the army is men only but other times before and after this episode, female soldiers can be seen. It is is likely this policy was only for a brief time.
 * On the hull of the Nimbus a poster says "Buy bonds - sell stocks".
 * Outside the officers' club stands a sign that reads "We don't know but we've been told our beer on tap is mighty cold", a parody of common military cadence calls that begin, "I don't know, but I've been told..." In addition, this may be a direct parody of a cadence call from the film , that goes "I don't know, but I've been told Eskimo is mighty cold."
 * The Earthicans used positron shooters against the Spheroids.
 * A "positron shooter", assuming it fires positrons, would be impossible. The reason for this being that a positron is a form of anti-baryonic matter, which would neutralize immediately on contact with an electron. Therefore, unless Futurama takes place in an antimatter, the positron shooter would have to operate either from the effects of the neutralization of a positron or not at all.
 * When the soldiers are charging their positron shooters, the melody "" is played in a fast tempo.
 * The bomb is set to go off when Bender "unwittingly speaks a certain word". However, at the end of the episode Bender is conscious of the words he is guessing. This would imply that the bomb didn't go off, Earth wasn't destroyed and the bomb is still inside Bender ready to detonate the moment he says the trigger word.
 * A likely accidental reference to the soft drink is made in Bender's top ten most used words, where the word "up" is his seventh most used word.

Allusions

 * The episode's title is a reference to 's words "".
 * A sign outside the shop Fry and Bender are in at the start of the episode reads "Free bag of with 6-pack", a reference to the substance ice-9, created by  in his novel .
 * Zapp Brannigan briefs the troops in front of a large Earthican flag, a parody of the opening scene of the 1970 movie .
 * Zapp Brannigan tells Kif to send in a quip to Humor in Uniform, a regular article in "Reader's Digest"
 * The Piñata scene parodies the scene where trains  in Star Wars .
 * This clip was also featured in featurette on the.
 * Bender is treated by a robot doctor named iHawk — a parody of ’s from  (voiced by actor/impersonator Maurice LaMarche), and the Apple line of iProducts. At one point, the robot flips a switch from “irreverent” to “maudlin,” a reference to the duality of Alda’s character portrayal. Additionally, Todd Susman provides the voice of the P.A. announcer as he did in M*A*S*H.
 * An extended M*A*S*H joke is played in the episode when Bender is evacuated to a mobile hospital. A “Suicide Is Painless” soundalike appears in the score, and many of the ensuing jokes are in M*A*S*H style. The alienese on the tent says *M*E*A*T, hence “mash meat.” Also, the first time that iHawk and Dr. Zoidberg are in the tent, it's a parody of Hawkeye fighting with Major Frank Burns: Zoidberg is Frank, the unnamed nurse is Major Margaret Houlihan, and iHawk is Hawkeye.
 * Bender’s Top Ten Used Words list is a reference to David Letterman’s Top Ten.
 * There are numerous references to the ball aliens as testicles: “These balls are making me testy!”; Brannigan is referring to the “Brain Balls” as having a lot of brains, and a lot of chutzpa (which he says while cupping his hand and raising it); the formerly mentioned newspaper headline, “Balls Thoroughly Licked”; and the plea for peace by Kissinger that "we have all seen too many body bags and ball sacks," are a few.
 * The war on Spheron 1 and the equipment of the Earthican troops seems to be inspired by the movie Starship Troopers. Additionally, the Brain Balls are analogous to the Brain Bugs of Starship Troopers.
 * Zapp Brannigan tells Lemon that he has a book on tape about life in ancient Greece, a likely reference to homosexuality in the militaries of ancient Greece.

Characters

 * Debut: 7¹¹ Clerk
 * Amy
 * Bender
 * Debut: Brain balls
 * Professor Farnsworth
 * Debut: Felicity
 * Fry
 * Hermes
 * Debut: iHawk
 * Jellyfish Nurse
 * Kif Kroker
 * Debut: Henry Kissinger's head
 * Leela
 * Debut: Public address announcer
 * Debut: Recruitment officer
 * Richard Nixon's head
 * Zoidberg
 * Zapp Brannigan

Themes

 * The romance between Fry and Leela is explored in this episode.

Episode Credits

 * Writer
 * Eric Horsted
 * Director
 * Ron Hughart
 * Voice Actors
 * Billy West
 * Katey Sagal
 * John DiMaggio
 * Tress MacNeille
 * Maurice LaMarche
 * David Herman
 * Lauren Tom
 * Phil LaMarr
 * DVD Commentary
 * Matt Groening
 * David X. Cohen
 * Rich Moore
 * Eric Horsted
 * Ron Hughart
 * John DiMaggio
 * Special Guest
 * Todd Susman