Transcript:The Six Million Dollar Mon


 * [Opening credits. Caption This Episode Worth 250 Futurama Points]
 * [Scene: Planet Express Meeting Room. Fry, Bender, Leela, Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Amy and Scruffy are sat when Hermes lands from a rocket]

Hermes:people, as company bureaucrat, I will today be conducting the annual performance review. With a twist.
 * [Hermes pulls a string revealing a red tie. Everygone gasps.]

Fry: Oh, No. the firing tie. Hermes: Correct. I will be evaluating each of you, and the lowest-rated employee, possibly Zoidberg, will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg. Zoidberg: (laughter) Classic Hermes Hermes:Let the interviews begin. Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg.
 * [Scene: Conrad dining room.]

Hermes:On the bright side,I'll never see Zoidberg again.
 * [LaBarbara arrives with some curried goat]

LaBarbara: Aw, there, there, husband. I made your favorite, curried goat. Hermes: It'll better be spicy.
 * [Scene: Hermes and LaBarbara's room.  A Robotic hand attached to an extendo arm finishes braiding LaBarbara's hair.  A wider shot reveals that it is Hermes' left hand.  Hermes and LaBarbara are seated on their bed.  Hermes is holding a book with his right hand.  LaBarbara grabs some of her hair.]

LaBarbara: Mmm. Well, I must admit it's not bad - an' it will cut two or t'ree hours a day off my UNKNOWN routine.
 * [LaBarbara looks into a mirror which she is holding with her left hand. The name "The INVISIBLE MON" can now be seen on the book which Hermes is holding.]

Hermes: Yes. [Hermes lies back.] Our lives will never be the same. [Hermes grabs his glasses with his Robotic hand - breaking them.] [angry] Darn it! [back to normal] I'll be right back.
 * [Hermes stands up and walks away with his book still in his right hand. LaBarbara - who is holding another book - looks at Hermes and then looks back at her book.]
 * [Time lapse. LaBarbara is sleeping with her book in her hands.  Hermes - who now has a Cylon eye - returns and seats on the bed.  We begin hearing lightsaber sounds.  LaBarbara opens her eyes, looks at Hermes, screams and sits up - letting go of her book.]

LaBarbara: Hermes! [Hermes looks at LaBarbara.] Oh, ya foolish man! [We stop hearing lightsaber sounds.] What do ya need a Cylon eye for?
 * [LaBarbara shrugs. Hermes puts down his book and makes a palms-down gesture.  LaBarbara looks scared as she moves away from Hermes.]

Hermes: Now, calm down, dear. [Hermes crosses his hands.] You know - you look even hotter in infrared.
 * [LaBarbara - who now looks surprised - slightly closes her eyes. Hermes and LaBarbara each turn off their lamps and all we see is Hermes' Cylon eye.  We hear kissing sounds.  Something similar to the eye turns up below and moves around for a while.  We begin hearing lightsaber sounds again.  LaBarbara screams and turns on her lamp - revealing Hermes to be holding her.]

LaBarbara: Husband! [LaBarbara stands up and puts her hands on her waist.] Some t'ings were not meant to be Cyloned. ''[LaBarbara points at Hermes with both her hands. We hear the sound of a lightsaber turning off sound and stop hearing lightsaber sounds. LaBarbara puts them on her waist again.]'' Now, you must promise me you won't be gettin' any more upgrades.
 * [Hermes - whose Robotic hand is behind his back - puts his right hand on his chest.]

Hermes: I promise.
 * [Hermes smiles. The camera zooms in on Hermes' Robotic hand.  Hermes crosses two of his Robotic fingers.]