Transcript:All the Presidents' Heads


 * [Note #1: This transcript is based on the video from the Comedy Central Insider post Has Sarah Palin Already Seen the New Season of Futurama? of 9 June, 2011.]
 * [Note #2: UNKNOWN represents a set of words not identified by the transcriber.]
 * [Scene: Brick building. The crew is wearing 18th-century clothes. A man approaches Paul Revere through a broken wall.]

Man: An urgent message for Mr. Revere!
 * [The man hands Revere a letter with his name on it. Revere opens it and begins reading it out loud. Bender, Professor Farnsworth, Fry, and Benjamin Franklin are listening.]

Paul Revere: Mr. Revere, UNKNOWN. The British attack has begun. Cross the river and watch for my signal. [Revere finishes reading the letter.] I must ride.
 * [Revere leaves the building, panting, and a horse is heard neighing from outside.]

Leela: He has so much stuff. [Leela puts a set of tableware into a seemingly bottomless purse.] He won't miss this.
 * [Scene: Backyard. Bender and Franklin are putting together a pile of counterfeits. Bender takes some from his chest cabinet and Franklin takes others from a box on the floor. Leela is steering a cart with more conterfeits.]

Professor Farnsworth: Let's burn these counterfeits and paddle the next swan boat the hell out of Boston.
 * [Leela and the Professor throw their counterfeits into the pile.]

Fry: Here you go.
 * [Fry hands the Professor a lantern.]

Professor Farnsworth: Thanks. ''[The Professor throws the lantern onto the pile, causing it to shatter. The counterfeits start burning.]'' Say, where did you get that lantern? Fry: From that old church to the north. [Fry points to a church.] They had two burning, so I figured they wouldn't miss one.
 * [Cut to: Revere riding a horse.]

Paul Revere: One if by land. Two if by sea. [Revere stops by a river and sees one lantern hanging on the wall of the church.] [shouting] The British are coming! The British are coming! [Revere goes back to riding the horse.] [shouting] By land! By land! [whispering] Gotta treat this OCD. Gotta treat this OCD.