Hermes Conrad is a Jamacian Bureaucrat, and proud of both. He works at Planet Express, handling stamping, filing, coalating, and accounting - all the fiddly little paperwork that only a true bureaucrat can handle properly. While he was born and raised in Jamacia, he moved to [[New New York City||New New York] with his wife LaBarbara. They now live with their teenage son Dwight.
Bureaucracy is in Hermes' bones, but before becoming a bureaucrat he was an Olympic limboist. In the 2980 Olympic Games, he competed in the 200 meter limbo for the Jamacian team and came in 2nd place to Barbados Slim, LaBarbara's ex-husband. Then, in a tragic accident, a young fan attempting to emulate his hero broke his spine trying to limbo as low as Hermes. Hermes dropped out of professional limbo immediately after. In 3004, when the entire Jamacian limbo team was detained at the airport because of their "other interests," Hermes was called back out of retirement to defend his country's pride (4ACV13). He came in dead last.
- Like my granny used used to say back in her tarpaper shack on Montego Bay, "If you want a box thrown into the sun, you got to do it yourself."