List of song performances
This is a list of songs performed by the characters on Futurama, be they either original performances or simply just performances of already existing songs.
- 1 B
- 2 =Blue Tail Fly
- 3 D
- 4 E
- 5 F
- 6 G
- 7 I
Bender: B-E-N-D-E-R Beeender
Give me a B, E, N, Daaay...
Blowin' in the Wind
=Blue Tail Fly
Bender: Fry cracked corn,
And I don't care,
Leela cracked corn,
I still don't care,
Bender cracked corn,
And he is great!
Take that, you stupid corn!
- Original Performance
- Performed by Hermes, LaBarbara, Dr. Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Leela, Bender, Morgan Proctor in How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back.
Hermes: When I was four there was a hurricane in Kingston Town
with a foot and a half of water
Everyone was alright, but I cried all night
It blew my alphabet blocks out of order
And they say this boy’s born to be a bureaucrat
Born to be all obsessive and snotty
I made my friends and relations file long applications
To get into my tenth birthday party.
LaBarbara: But something changed when my man turned pro.
Hermes: I was sorting but I wasn't smilin'
LaBarbara: He forgot that it's not about badges and ranks
Hermes: It's supposed to be about the filin'!
We didn't choose to be bureaucrats
No, that's what our mighty Ja made us
We treat people like swine and make them stand in line
Even if nobody paid us
They say the world looks down on the bureaucrats
They say we're anal, compulsive and weird
But when push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea
Zoidberg: They said I probably shouldn't be a surgeon
Farnsworth: They poopooed my electric frankfurter
Leela: They said I probably shouldn't fly with just one eye
Bender: I am Bender please insert girder
Hermes: Everybody sing Jamaica!
Hermes: Just the bureaucrats - Jamaica!
Hermes: The grade nineteens!
Morgan Proctor: ... Jamaica.
Hermes: Sing me home,
When push comes to shove you gotta do what you love
Even if it's not a good idea!
Don't Mess with Earth
Head of the ACLU:You can eat my dog,
You can eat my truck,
But you eat my flag and you're out of luck!
She's 'awaven proud around the world,
From Dallas to Ft. Worth,
Let me say it again...
Don't mess with Earth!
Don't Worry, Bee Happy
- Original Performance to the tune of Don't Worry, Be Happy.
- Performed by Amy, Bender, Farnsworth, Hermes, Dr. Zoidberg and Bee in The Sting.
Amy: [spoken] In every life, we have some trouble.
'Bender: [spoken] But when you worry you make it double.
Bender/Amy: Don't worry! Bee happy! [Bender imitating bongos]
Farnsworth: The landlords say your rent is late.
Hermes: You may have to litigate.
Farnsworth/Hermes/Bender: Don't worry! [Bender opens his chest and releases a bee, which stings Farnsworth in the head]
Farnsworth: Happy! [Farnsworth swells up and explodes. Zoidberg appears on a stage, his name displayed behind him in neon lights]
Zoidberg: Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style, ladies vomit when I smile. But does Zoidberg worry? Feh, you wish! [The bee stings him]
Zoidberg: Happy! [He explodes. Hermes skates into view, carrying Amy]
Hermes: [spoken] Don't worry now, Amy! [The bee stings Hermes, who explodes. Amy skates up to the camera]
Amy: [spoken] Okay, I'm happy! [She is stung and explodes, revealing Bender standing on the table]
Bender: [spoken] Take us home, Bender! Don't worry! [The bee stings him]
Bender: Happy! [Bender explodes into a firework display. When the smoke clears, everyone is sitting around as if nothing had happened]
Leela: [short pause, spoken] Uh, were you just singing?
Bender: [spoken] No, I was telling you not to worry. I'm not allowed to sing. Court order.
Elves' Xmas Song
- Original Performance
- Performed by Bender, Leela, Fry, Neptunians Elves and Robot Santa in A Tale of Two Santas.
Neptunian Elves: We are free and barely sober
With so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky
Probably someone will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don't intend to pay
Neptunian Elves: The elves are back to work today
We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts
And the labor isn't easy
Leela: Then you'll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker
If you turn up the controls to super speed
Neptunian Elves: It's back to work on Xmas eve
Leela: And though your cold and sore and ugly
Your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Neptunian Elf: There's a toy lodged in my brain
Neptunian Elves: We are getting awfully tired
And we can't work any faster
And we're very, very sorry
Bender: Why you selfish little bastards!
Do you want the kids to think
That Santa's just a crummy empty handed jerk?!
Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Neptunian Elves: Now it's very nearly Xmas
And we done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they're made from inferior wood
Bender: I should give you all a beating
But I really have to fly
Robot Santa: If I weren't stuck here frozen
I'd harpoon you in the eye
Neptunian Elves: Now it's back into our tenements
To drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could I guess
And some of these gorillas are OK
Neptunian Elves: HOORAY! (we're adequate!)
All: The elves have rescued Xmas day
Frog Went A-Courting
- Original Performance - to the tune of Frog Went A-Courting.
- Performed by Bender in Bendin' in the Wind.
Bender: Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh, uh-huh
Well, Froggy went a-courtin' and he did ride,
Blah, blah, blah, something, Bender is great!
Froggy went a-courtin' and Bender is great, uh-huh--
The Fourth Day of Xmas
- Original Performance - to the tune of Twelve Days of Christmas.
- Performed by Bender, Tinny Time and two robots in Xmas Story.
Bender: On the fourth day of Xmas I stole from that lady
Robot 1: Four family photos
Tinny Tim: Three jars of pennies
Robot 2: Two former husbands
Bender: And a slipper on a shoe-tree.
Grunka Lunka Songs
Grunka Lunkas: Grunka Lunka dunkety doo
We've got a friendly warning for you
Grunka Lunka dunkety dasis
The secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis
Asking questions in school is a great way to learn
If you try that stuff here you might get your legs broke
We once found a guy face down in the Slurm
It could easily happen again to you folk
So keep your head down and keep your mouth shut
Grunka Lunka Lunka dunkety dut!
Grunka Lunka dunkety dingredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient!
Grunka Lunka dunkety darmedguards
I'll Shoot Her With My Railgun
- Original Performance - to the tune of She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain
- Performed by Bender in The Series Has Landed.
Bender: Well I'll shoot her with my railgun when she comes.
Yes, I'll shoot her with my railgun when she comes.
Yes, I'll shoot her with my railgun, oh I'll shoot her with my railgun,
Yes, I'll shoot her with my railgun when she comes, when she comes.
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world,
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world,
I'll be blasting all the humans, I'll be blasting all the humans,
I'll be blasting all the humans in the world, in the world.