List of unused title captions

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Revision as of 04:49, 28 August 2009 by 72.221.108.131 (talk)
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The following are title captions that were released in DVD special features before appearing in the Opening Sequence. A few have since been used, in these cases click the text version to see an associated episode.

Gallery

First Set

Included as an egg on volume three, disc one.

  • Lick screen for "surprise"

  • A wholly owned subsidiary of Top Ramen Noodle Corp.

  • Entertainment for geniuses

  • Less dumb than other shows

  • This space for rent

  • Watch harder

  • Press refrigerator magnet to screen to send Fry to crazy rainbow land

  • Dear god, I'm stuck on the bottom of the TV screen

  • Please do not read this

  • The proceeding recorded in "happy-happy fun-time"

  • Do not whack with a stick

  • It sure beats workin'

  • Filmed in television™

  • Last known transmission of the Mars polar lander

  • Now available without prescription

  • No humans were abducted by aliens in the making of this episode

  • Now hiring Gorns and Tribbles

  • Contains the comedy energy of three rubber chickens

  • A proud sponsor of special relativity

  • By appointment to his Galactic Majesty Zang the Cruel

  • Help! Matt Groening is really an alien monster-- Arrggh!

  • Based on the comic stylings of Ishigo Futurama

  • Based on the comic stylings of a Denebian talking mold

  • Designed especially for the human brain

  • Wow! Look at the pretty colors!

  • I like this show! Do you?

  • The guy with the orange hair is named "Fry"

  • Found whole in the belly of the Space Wolf

  • Soon to be a Neptune-orbiting amusement park

  • A step beyond funny

  • Natural source of dietary positrons

  • Note: Not a substitute for actual time travel

  • To view in hypercolor, insert rectal probe

  • A jazzy alternative to the present day

  • What you'll miss a thousand years hence

  • Americans: Put down your guns for half an hour

  • Last 12 minutes will be improvised

  • Humanity wins 2453 World Cup Championship!

  • Last week's Bender's Boozy Buddy Contest™ winner is Gerald R. Mannly of Reading Falls, Wisconsin. Mr. Mannly will be flown to the North Pole and left with only a case of Old Mother's Whiskey™ and a box of matches. In case of death, next of kin will be notified. Notice to viewer: You can't possibly have read all this! You're not supposed to be taping the show!

  • Now with 10% more future

  • You will be travelling in time. Check your shoes at the door.

  • Do not watch while driving

  • May contain sarcasm

  • Wait half an hour after meal before watching

  • Now contains titanium

  • Disassembly required

  • Recommended by four out of five U.S. Presidents

  • Sitting close may reverse myopia

  • Not affiliated with the Columbia School of Broadcasting

  • We never eat a meal on rewrite night

  • Today's future tonight

  • Sit down, you're in the future!

  • Cool cats dig it!

  • May contain Sci-Fi crap

  • All coupons redeemable at end of viewing

  • Not to be taken lightly

  • Collect all six billion

  • Better if viewed through hyperintercosmic laser window

  • Intergalactic travel is simulated

  • No smizmars were hurt in the making of this show

  • Caution: Will get your goat

  • Licensed by a practising space guy

  • Hey, don't hit your brother

  • Put your mind in the upright position

  • Not a Spike Lee joint

  • Based on a true story told by a friend of my uncle

  • From plutonium concentrate

  • Spray directly in face

  • Winner of two of the five awards that we invented

  • To be inserted orally

  • Not to be inserted orally

  • Beans not included

  • Watched by everyone who has seen the show

  • Do not take with a grain of salt

  • May contain scenes unsuitable for guys named Jo-Jo

  • Based on the works of J. W. Jibbywha Jr. Esq.

  • Contents have been known to control the minds of livestock

  • Lookout! Ship!

  • Second printing 3001. Not a collector's item

Second Set

Included as an egg on volume four, disc four.

  • 00010100100111010010
    1110 01010100100010101110
    1010

  • Contains falsified data

  • Close captioned for the ESP impaired

  • Not a significant source of uranium

  • Translated from the original sign language

  • May contain less than 2% of all chemicals

  • Criminal sentence pending

  • Also available in circus form

  • As seen on the FBI's "10 most funny" list

  • The flickering light at the end of the comedy tunnel

  • Meets or exceeds U.S. Gov't comedy standards

  • Customized to your sense of humor

  • Now with brighter whites and colors that don't fade

  • The souped-up muscle car of TV comedies

  • Even more futuristic!

  • Featuring the fifth element -- hyperwater

  • Closed captioned in stereo

  • We use only milk-fed, free-range animators

  • Comedy that's smart for your wallet

  • Sponsored by jokes without limits, a non-profit organization

  • The episode they'll be thinking about at the office water cooler but not mentioning specifically

  • Comedy that doesn't "eat it"

  • Found tattooed on sasqatch

  • TV L: Characters communicate using language

  • Transcribed directly from the human genome

  • Caution: Some English words in this broadcast may be spelled non-phonetically

  • Found to produce adverse reactions in tapirs

  • Dne eht a palindromic script!

  • For a lustrous shine, rub daily into your dog's coat

  • Now with joke beaters, the low-cal humor substitute

  • Soon to be an Icelandic saga

  • You may now punch your frequent watchers card

  • 100% Mike Wallace free!

  • Smarter than the average space bear

  • Won't stick to most dental work

  • Fry is the walrus

  • Thanks for watching, Larry

  • Ask about our lay-awake plan

  • You've seen the rest, now watch us

  • Home of the fighting newts

  • 36% fat free!

  • Can you draw Tippy?

  • Today's soup: Plutonian clam w/ celery

  • Orwell was doubleplusright

  • Like Seinfeld, but in space

  • We laugh so you don't have to

  • Now with deeper teal

  • We love to see you smell

  • The best show you're watching right now

  • Recommended by viewers who chew gum

  • Like Antiques Roadshow, but in space

  • Brought to you by the word "ass"

  • Man, that one-eyed chick is hot

  • Tonight's show was fried in jokelestra

  • Get out your calculators and enjoy the show

  • Like PBS, but with sassier robots

  • Approved by the American Rudeness Council

  • Can't we all just get along (in space)?

  • Watch and learn

  • In space, no one can hear you laugh

  • Kick off your early evening with us

  • Originally broadcast today on a future planet

  • Drawn with pride in a minimum security facility

  • Your Arbor Day headquarters

  • Watch while listening to "Tom Sawyer" for eerie synergies

  • Formerly "Futurissimo"

  • Now with 20% more analogs to our time

  • May cause drowsiness or irritability

  • Made with pride in the first four dimensions

  • Jordan's back, and so are we

  • Featuring all your favorite Harry Potter characters

  • Comedy by the shovelful

  • Now also available as a shoe

  • This episode created entirely while riding on "Segway"

  • No aliens were frazarked in the making of this episode

  • Now with jokes about robots and aliens

  • If the future isn't exactly like this, your money back

  • If the future isn't exactly like this, you can pinch us

  • Only 35 more weeks until football season!

  • Mined from pure humor nuggets

  • Television for people who watch television

  • Support our troops on Cygnus 5

  • Current eBay bid: $8.51

  • Error! Your subtitle program has been corrupted

  • Alert! color radiation at level 5

  • Please patronize our advertisers. During "King of the Hill."

  • Read from tea leaves

  • Almost certain to come true

  • Call your friends and tell them to watch or you won't talk to them any more

  • 3D version now available -- call you local cable operator

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