Difference between revisions of "Transcript:A Clockwork Origin"

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:''['''Scene''': [[Planet Express]], Meeting Room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] are sitting at the table.]''
:''['''Scene''': [[Planet Express]], Meeting Room. The [[Planet Express Crew|crew]] are sitting at the table.]''


:'''[Hermes]''': Item one... Duck! ''[Most duck just in time, but Bender is clipped by [[Cubert]] on a [[party board]].
<poem>'''[Hermes]''': Item one... Duck! ''[Most duck just in time, but Bender is clipped by [[Cubert]] on a [[party board]].


:'''[[Prof. Farnsworth]]''': Cubert, you crapscallion! What aren't you in [[Wozniak Nerd Academy|school]]?
</poem><poem>'''[[Prof. Farnsworth]]''': Cubert, you crapscallion! What aren't you in [[Wozniak Nerd Academy|school]]?


:'''Cubert''': I couldn't get past the protesters. A bunch of smiling, angry people were handing out these {{w|anti-evolution}} flyers.
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': I couldn't get past the protesters. A bunch of smiling, angry people were handing out these {{w|anti-evolution}} flyers.</poem>


:''[He shows the Professor one. It shows a woman spanking a man wearing a dunce cap that says "{{w|Darwin}}". It reads, "Teach truth, not evolution. Also bring back spanking".]''
:''[He shows the Professor one. It shows a woman spanking a man wearing a dunce cap that says "{{w|Darwin}}". It reads, "Teach truth, not evolution. Also bring back spanking".]''


:'''Farnsworth''': ''[He gasps.]'' {{w|Evolution}} is under attack at our schools? To the ''science mobile''.
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''[He gasps.]'' {{w|Evolution}} is under attack at our schools? To the ''science mobile''.


:'''[[Leela]]''': You mean the [[Planet Express Ship|ship]]?
</poem><poem>'''[[Leela]]''': You mean the [[Planet Express Ship|ship]]?


:'''Farnsworth''': Yes. The science mobile!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Yes. The science mobile!


:'''Leela''' It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay.
</poem><poem>'''Leela''' It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Wozniak Nerd Academy. The ship passes a sign that says "Go Flinchers!" It lands.]''
:''['''Scene''': Wozniak Nerd Academy. The ship passes a sign that says "Go Flinchers!" It lands.]''


:'''Woman''': I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers!
<poem>'''Woman''': I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers!</poem>


:''[The crowd listening cheers]''
:''[The crowd listening cheers]''


:'''Farnsworth''': ''[Walking to the podium.]'' You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your {{w|turnip}} trucks and go home!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''[Walking to the podium.]'' You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your {{w|turnip}} trucks and go home!</poem>


:''[The crowd boos.]''
:''[The crowd boos.]''


:'''[[Hydroponic Farmer]]''': ''[Standing in front of a turnip truck.]'' That is an insulting accurate stereotype, sir!
<poem>'''[[Hydroponic Farmer]]''': ''[Standing in front of a turnip truck.]'' That is an insulting accurate stereotype, sir!


:'''Farnsworth''': As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.


:'''[[Dr. Banjo]]''': I can't speak for you, sir, but mine ancestors were not monkeys. They were {{w|orangutan|orangutans}}. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans.
</poem><poem>'''[[Dr. Banjo]]''': I can't speak for you, sir, but mine ancestors were not monkeys. They were {{w|orangutan|orangutans}}. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans.</poem>


:'''[An orangutan walks up from the crowd. He is wearing a suit and glasses.]''
:''[An orangutan walks up from the crowd. He is wearing a suit and glasses.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Dr. Banjo?
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Dr. Banjo?


:'''Dr. Banjo''': In the fur. And I remind you that evolution is merely a {{w|Scientific theory|theory}}. Like {{w|gravity}}, or the shape of the [[Earth]].
</poem><poem>'''Dr. Banjo''': In the fur. And I remind you that evolution is merely a {{w|Scientific theory|theory}}. Like {{w|gravity}}, or the shape of the [[Earth]].</poem>


:''[The crowd cheers again.]''
:''[The crowd cheers again.]''


:'''[[Flying Spaghetti Monster (character)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]''': Hey, Professor, I'm a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster (species)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]. You seriously saying that I descended from some kind of flightless {{w|manicotti}}?
<poem>'''[[Flying Spaghetti Monster (character)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]''': Hey, Professor, I'm a [[Flying Spaghetti Monster (species)|Flying Spaghetti Monster]]. You seriously saying that I descended from some kind of flightless {{w|manicotti}}?


:'''Farnsworth''': Yes!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Yes!


:'''Banjo''': Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of {{w|Creationism|Creatureism}}. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!  
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of {{w|Creationism|Creatureism}}. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!  


:'''Farnsworth''': Bunk!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Bunk!


:'''Banjo''': Oh! ''[He shows a [[hologram]] of a [[humans|man]] and a {{w|Chimpanzee}}, with a backwards {{w|prohibition sign}} running through an arrow.]'' If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient {{w|Great Apes|apes}}?  
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Oh! ''[He shows a [[hologram]] of a [[humans|man]] and a {{w|Chimpanzee}}, with a backwards {{w|prohibition sign}} running through an arrow.]'' If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient {{w|Great Apes|apes}}?  


:'''Farnsworth''': We did find it! ''[The arrow is replaced by {{w|Homo erectus}}.]'' It's called ''Homo erectus''!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': We did find it! ''[The arrow is replaced by {{w|Homo erectus}}.]'' It's called ''Homo erectus''!


:'''Banjo''': Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this ''Homo erectus''. ''[The arrow is put between before ''Homo erectus''.]
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this ''Homo erectus''. ''[The arrow is put between before ''Homo erectus''.]


:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in again.]'' It's called ''{{w|Homo habilis}}''!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in again.]'' It's called ''{{w|Homo habilis}}''!


:'''Banjo''': Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called ''Homo habilis''.
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called ''Homo habilis''.


:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in.]'' It's called {{w|Australopithecus africanus}}!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Yes, they have! ''[The hologram fills in.]'' It's called {{w|Australopithecus africanus}}!


:'''Banjo''': Oh-ho! I've got you now! ''[Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only [[Fry]] and Leela are still there.]'' Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this ''{{w|Darwinius masillae}}? Answer me that, Professor!
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Oh-ho! I've got you now! ''[Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only [[Fry]] and Leela are still there.]'' Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this ''{{w|Darwinius masillae}}? Answer me that, Professor!


:'''Farnsworth''': Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!


:'''Banjo''': ''[He scoffs.]'' Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': ''[He scoffs.]'' Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!</poem>


:''['''Scene''': [[Oldluvial Gorge]]. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvial Gorge. Birthplace of {{w|Ryan Seacreast}} (and the rest of humanity). The crew are excavating.]''
:''['''Scene''': [[Oldluvial Gorge]]. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvial Gorge. Birthplace of {{w|Ryan Seacreast}} (and the rest of humanity). The crew are excavating.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': I'll show that {{w|banana}}-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': I'll show that {{w|banana}}-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.


:'''Leela''': I found ''a'' missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. ''[She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]''
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': I found ''a'' missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. ''[She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! ''[She throws it in a pot.]''
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! ''[She throws it in a pot.]''


:'''Hermes''': And here's something. ''[He holds up a fossilized dog]'' Uh-oh. It's [[Jurassic Bark|another one]] of [[Seymour Asses|Fry's dogs]].
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': And here's something. ''[He holds up a fossilized dog]'' Uh-oh. It's [[Jurassic Bark|another one]] of [[Seymour Asses|Fry's dogs]].


:'''Fry''': Did you say something, Hermes?
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Did you say something, Hermes?


:'''Hermes''': ''[Hiding the fossil behind his back.]'' Nothing. ''[The dog lands in the soup.]''
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': ''[Hiding the fossil behind his back.]'' Nothing. ''[The dog lands in the soup.]''


:'''[[Amy]]''': I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers!  
</poem><poem>'''[[Amy]]''': I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers!  


:'''[[Zoidberg]]''': ''[He and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]'' Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! ''[Cubert looks at him, deadpan.]'' What, too soon?
</poem><poem>'''[[Zoidberg]]''': ''[He and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.]'' Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! ''[Cubert looks at him, deadpan.]'' What, too soon?


:'''Cubert''': I highly doubt a {{w|Jurassic}} {{w|Elaphrosaurus}} has access to neckwear.
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': I highly doubt a {{w|Jurassic}} {{w|Elaphrosaurus}} has access to neckwear.


:'''Zoidberg''': I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.


:'''[[Bender]]''': Hey, look! I found a robot fossil! ''[He picks up a spring.]''
</poem><poem>'''[[Bender]]''': Hey, look! I found a robot fossil! ''[He picks up a spring.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!


:'''Bender''': What? Who says I didn't evolve?
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': What? Who says I didn't evolve?


:'''Farnsworth''': Everybody! Robots were invented quite recently. It was in all the papers.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Everybody! Robots were invented quite recently. It was in all the papers.


:'''Bender''': Then explain this! ''[He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]''
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Then explain this! ''[He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]''</poem>


:''[Time Lapse.]''
:''[Time Lapse.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': I've hit a rich vein of missing links. {{w|Java Man}}, {{w|Piltdown Man}}, {{w|Manfred Mann}}. ''[He throws out the skulls as he names them.]'' Eureka! ''[He is holding a skull.]'' It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': I've hit a rich vein of missing links. {{w|Java Man}}, {{w|Piltdown Man}}, {{w|Manfred Mann}}. ''[He throws out the skulls as he names them.]'' Eureka! ''[He is holding a skull.]'' It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!</poem>


:''[The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]''
:''[The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]''


:'''Fry''': ''[He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.]'' What the...
<poem>'''Fry''': ''[He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.]'' What the...


:'''Amy''': Oh, that's mine. ''[She takes it back.]''
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Oh, that's mine. ''[She takes it back.]''</poem>


:''['''Scene''': NNY. Museum of Natural History. A banner reads "World Bone Premiere".]''
:''['''Scene''': NNY. Museum of Natural History. A banner reads "World Bone Premiere".]''


:'''Bender''': ''[He walks up to the Professor, wearing an under-sized {{w|Tuxedo}}.]'' Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one much say.
<poem>'''Bender''': ''[He walks up to the Professor, wearing an under-sized {{w|Tuxedo}}.]'' Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one much say.


:'''Farnsworth''': One might not say that. Your tux doesn't fit is because you stole it from a boy!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': One might not say that. Your tux doesn't fit is because you stole it from a boy!


:'''Bender''': You mean a man! It was his {{w|Bar Mitzvah}}.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': You mean a man! It was his {{w|Bar Mitzvah}}.


:'''[[Ben Beeler]]''': Welcome, museum members. Or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[The crowd chuckles weakly.]''
</poem><poem>'''[[Ben Beeler]]''': Welcome, museum members. Or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[The crowd chuckles weakly.]''


:'''Zoidberg''': ''[To Cubert.]'' He's good.
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': ''[To Cubert.]'' He's good.


:'''Beeler''': Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of {{w|Hominids}}, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, ''Homo farnsworth''. ''[A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]''
</poem><poem>'''Beeler''': Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of {{w|Hominids}}, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, ''Homo farnsworth''. ''[A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Once again, science saves the day. The end.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Once again, science saves the day. The end.


:'''Beeler''': And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!
</poem><poem>'''Beeler''': And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!</poem>


:''[The Professor does a {{w|spit take}} His {{w|dentures}} land ''in'' a painting of a {{w|Tarsier}}]''.
:''[The Professor does a {{w|spit take}} His {{w|dentures}} land ''in'' a painting of a {{w|Tarsier}}]''.


:'''Banjo''': Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. ''[He pulls a cord and a painting of ''Homo farnsworth'' riding a dinosaur is revealed.]'' Behold! ''Homo farnsworth'' frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.
<poem>'''Banjo''': Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. ''[He pulls a cord and a painting of ''Homo farnsworth'' riding a dinosaur is revealed.]'' Behold! ''Homo farnsworth'' frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.


:'''Farnsworth''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]''
Line 147: Line 147:
:''['''Scene''': Deep Space.]''
:''['''Scene''': Deep Space.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Faster! faster! Just drop me off at that {{w|asteroid}} over there.
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Faster! faster! Just drop me off at that {{w|asteroid}} over there.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': [[Robo-Planetoid]].]''
:''['''Scene''': [[Robo-Planetoid]].]''


:'''Leela''': Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless.
<poem>'''Leela''': Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless.


:'''Farnsworth''': Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it!</poem>


:''[Hermes sets down a container labeled  "Blow Shack" and pulls the cord. The shack pops up and sends Hermes flying.]''
:''[Hermes sets down a container labeled  "Blow Shack" and pulls the cord. The shack pops up and sends Hermes flying.]''


:'''Fry''': ''[Looking at a polluted pond.]'' Professor, is this your only water source? It looks like {{w|Diet Dr. Pepper}}.
<poem>'''Fry''': ''[Looking at a polluted pond.]'' Professor, is this your only water source? It looks like {{w|Diet Dr. Pepper}}.


:'''Farnsworth''': It's not that bad. It's just laden with toxic minerals. But not for long. ''[He rattles a tube.]''
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': It's not that bad. It's just laden with toxic minerals. But not for long. ''[He rattles a tube.]''


:'''Fry''': What's in the tube?
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': What's in the tube?


:'''Farnsworth''': Microscopic [[Nanobots]]. ''[He empties the tube. The robots quickly start cleaning the water.]'' They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Microscopic [[Nanobots]]. ''[He empties the tube. The robots quickly start cleaning the water.]'' They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants.


:'''Fry''': Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert?
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert?


:'''Farnsworth''': Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]''


:'''Zoidberg''': Cubert,  I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of [[A Clockwork Origin#Goofs| baseball gloves]] and boiled them up for lunch.
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Cubert,  I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of [[A Clockwork Origin#Goofs| baseball gloves]] and boiled them up for lunch.


:'''Cubert''': Why don't you just go to Hell!
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': Why don't you just go to Hell!


:'''Zoidberg''': Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid.]''
:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid.]''


:'''Hermes''': ''[He walks out of the Professor's shack.]'' Okay, I finished moving the last {{w|grand piano}}. Now can we have our pizza?
<poem>'''Hermes''': ''[He walks out of the Professor's shack.]'' Okay, I finished moving the last {{w|grand piano}}. Now can we have our pizza?


:'''Farnsworth''': You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let me see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. ''[He pours some water from an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}} on to a {{w|microscope}} slide and examines it.]'' Ah, the water's as {{w|sterility|sterile}} as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let me see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. ''[He pours some water from an {{w|Erlenmeyer flask}} on to a {{w|microscope}} slide and examines it.]'' Ah, the water's as {{w|sterility|sterile}} as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.


:'''Bender''': What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?


:'''Farnsworth''': It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!


:'''Amy''': Hey look, now they gotten bigger. ''[The robots are coming onshore.]''
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Hey look, now they gotten bigger. ''[The robots are coming onshore.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Good heavens! [[Trilobots]]!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Good heavens! [[Trilobots]]!</poem>


:''[The Trilobots cannibalize the ship while the crew look on in shock.]''
:''[The Trilobots cannibalize the ship while the crew look on in shock.]''


:'''Leela''': Oh no! My sunglasses were in there!
<poem>'''Leela''': Oh no! My sunglasses were in there!</poem>


:''[Time lapse. The Trilobots attack the crew.]''
:''[Time lapse. The Trilobots attack the crew.]''


:'''Hermes''': Let's get the pizza out of here. ''[Hermes runs off with the pizza. The crew follows. The Trilobots cannibalize everything, including the Professor's shack and the piano inside.]''
<poem>'''Hermes''': Let's get the pizza out of here. ''[Hermes runs off with the pizza. The crew follows. The Trilobots cannibalize everything, including the Professor's shack and the piano inside.]''


:'''Amy''': Look, there's a cave-like hole in that mountain. It might be a cave.  ''[The crew runs into the cave and blocks the door with a boulder.]''
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Look, there's a cave-like hole in that mountain. It might be a cave.  ''[The crew runs into the cave and blocks the door with a boulder.]''


:'''Leela''': Does anyone have a lighter?
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Does anyone have a lighter?


:'''Bender''': Hang on. ''[He opens a beer and drinks. He burps and adjusts the flame.]''
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Hang on. ''[He opens a beer and drinks. He burps and adjusts the flame.]''


:'''Leela''': Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation.
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation.


:'''Hermes''': It's pizza time. ''[He passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]''
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': It's pizza time. ''[He passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]''


:'''Amy''': {{w|Pineapple}}?
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': {{w|Pineapple}}?


:'''Hermes''': So much for that. ''[They all throw away the pizza.]''
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': So much for that. ''[They all throw away the pizza.]''</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert's room.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. Cubert's room.]''


:'''Zoidberg''': Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. ''[He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.]'' This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. ''[He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.]'' This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?


:'''Cubert''': This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do {{w|three-point perspective}}? I could make a better mural with my butt!
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do {{w|three-point perspective}}? I could make a better mural with my butt!


:'''Zoidberg''': ''[Sadly.]'' Father-Man away. ''[Cubert looks ashamed.]''
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': ''[Sadly.]'' Father-Man away. ''[Cubert looks ashamed.]''</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. The crew is waking up.]''
:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. The crew is waking up.]''


:'''Hermes''': Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple?
<poem>'''Hermes''': Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple?


:'''Farnsworth''': I packed plenty of food, but it's all in dehydrated pill form. ''[He holds up a bottle that says "Steak Diner 40mg. Fixin's 10mg".]''
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': I packed plenty of food, but it's all in dehydrated pill form. ''[He holds up a bottle that says "Steak Diner 40mg. Fixin's 10mg".]''


:'''Leela''': Then we need water from that pond. We'll have to fight our way past the Trilobots. ''[Bender moves the boulder.]'' Go! Go! Hit anything that moves1
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Then we need water from that pond. We'll have to fight our way past the Trilobots. ''[Bender moves the boulder.]'' Go! Go! Hit anything that moves!</poem>


:''[The crew rushes out, {{w|Karate}}-chopping the non-existent enemies. They all fall into a pile. They get up and take in their surroundings.]''
:''[The crew rushes out, {{w|Karate}}-chopping the non-existent enemies. They all fall into a pile. They get up and take in their surroundings.]''


:'''Fry''': Whoa.
<poem>'''Fry''': Whoa.


:'''Bender''': Wow.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Wow.


:'''Amy''': An entire forest grew overnight.
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': An entire forest grew overnight.


:'''Farsworth''': ''[He knocks on a tree. It is metal and hollow.]'' These trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up.
</poem><poem>'''Farsworth''': ''[He knocks on a tree. It is metal and hollow.]'' These trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up.


:'''Bender''': I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up.


:'''Leela''': ''[She gets water from the pond and re-hydrates the pill. It turns into a steak.]'' One this about Bristol-Myers Squibb, they know how to cook a steak. ''[She takes a bite.]''
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': ''[She gets water from the pond and re-hydrates the pill. It turns into a steak.]'' One this about Bristol-Myers Squibb, they know how to cook a steak. ''[She takes a bite.]''


:'''Fry''': ''[In the pond, using a robotic leaf as a boat.]'' Look at me, I'm the {{w|Dan Resin|Ty-D-Bol man}}. I own a yacht an everyone poops on me. ''[He is attacked by a robotic {{w|Plesiosaurs}}.]'' Help! Police!
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': ''[In the pond, using a robotic leaf as a boat.]'' Look at me, I'm the {{w|Dan Resin|Ty-D-Bol man}}. I own a yacht an everyone poops on me. ''[He is attacked by a robotic {{w|Plesiosaurs}}.]'' Help! Police!


:'''Leela''': Everybody grab a club. ''[The rest of the crew starts hitting the robot.]''
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Everybody grab a club. ''[The rest of the crew starts hitting the robot.]''


:'''Fry''': ''[The robot throws opens its mouth and Fry hits the ground, several feet away.]'' Oh, big, tough water guy, why don't you come up here on land and... ''[A robotic {{w|T-Rex}} grabs him in its jaws.]''
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': ''[The robot throws opens its mouth and Fry hits the ground, several feet away.]'' Oh, big, tough water guy, why don't you come up here on land and... ''[A robotic {{w|T-Rex}} grabs him in its jaws.]''


:'''Amy''': Look out for the next thing!
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': Look out for the next thing!</poem>


:''[A robotic {{w|Triceratops}} rams the T-Rex. The T-Rex robot falls into the water and the Triceratops turns on the crew.]''
:''[A robotic {{w|Triceratops}} rams the T-Rex. The T-Rex robot falls into the water and the Triceratops turns on the crew.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Great Scott, Tricycle-tops!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Great Scott, Tricycle-tops!</poem>


:''[The two robot dinosaurs in the pond attack each other.]''
:''[The two robot dinosaurs in the pond attack each other.]''


:'''Fry''' Woo-hoo! Throw down dinosaurs of the land and sea. ''[Something crows and Fry screams. A robot {{w|Pterosaur}} carries him off.]'' This is a cool way to die!
<poem>'''Fry''' Woo-hoo! Throw down dinosaurs of the land and sea. ''[Something crows and Fry screams. A robot {{w|Pterosaur}} carries him off.]'' This is a cool way to die!</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside Planet Express.]''


:'''Cubert''': Dr. Zoidberg? I'm sorry for treating you like a total Zoidberg... I mean, loser. ''[Zoidberg comes out of his dumpster.]''
<poem>'''Cubert''': Dr. Zoidberg? I'm sorry for treating you like a total Zoidberg... I mean, loser. ''[Zoidberg comes out of his dumpster.]''


:'''Zoidberg''': Go on.
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': Go on.


:'''Cubert''': It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism.
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism.


:'''[[Brett Blob]]''': Hey, Cubert, is that your family mansion? ''[He laughs.]''
</poem><poem>'''[[Brett Blob]]''': Hey, Cubert, is that your family mansion? ''[He laughs.]''


:'''Cubert''': Why don't you ask your [[Mrs. Blob|mom]]? She's coming over for a sex visit.
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': Why don't you ask your [[Mrs. Blob|mom]]? She's coming over for a sex visit.</poem>


:''[Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]''
:''[Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]''


:'''Zoidberg''': Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? ''[He bursts into tears.]''
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? ''[He bursts into tears.]''


:'''Brett''': ''[He laughs.]'' The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.
</poem><poem>'''Brett''': ''[He laughs.]'' The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.


:'''Zoidberg''': And that's that.
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': And that's that.


:'''Cubert''': Woah! You're like some kind of dumpster {{sw|Jedi}}.
</poem><poem>'''Cubert''': Woah! You're like some kind of dumpster {{sw|Jedi}}.


:'''Zoidberg''': So, you wanna come in maybe? ''[He opens the other lid.]'' I've got a nice {{w|pound cake}} with a footprint on it.
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': So, you wanna come in maybe? ''[He opens the other lid.]'' I've got a nice {{w|pound cake}} with a footprint on it.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. Fry is being taken to the robot Pterosaur's nest.]''
:''['''Scene''': Robo-Planetoid. Fry is being taken to the robot Pterosaur's nest.]''


:'''Fry''': ''[Trying to avoid the babies Pterosaurs.]'' Ah! Don't eat my butt!
<poem>'''Fry''': ''[Trying to avoid the babies Pterosaurs.]'' Ah! Don't eat my butt!</poem>


:''[The others are crawling in the brush, trying to get to Fry.]''
:''[The others are crawling in the brush, trying to get to Fry.]''


:'''Leela''': If this is anything like killing that {{w|pigeon}} on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us.  
<poem>'''Leela''': If this is anything like killing that {{w|pigeon}} on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us. </poem>


:''[The robot T-rex and another dinosaur attack them. Fry is still trying not to be eaten. The sun flares.]''
:''[The robot T-rex and another dinosaur attack them. Fry is still trying not to be eaten. The sun flares.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Look out, a {{w|solar flare}}!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Look out, a {{w|solar flare}}!</poem>


:''[An energy wave hits the Planetoid, turning Fry's hair into an {{w|afro}} and short-circuiting the robots.
:''[An energy wave hits the Planetoid, turning Fry's hair into an {{w|afro}} and short-circuiting the robots.


:'''Amy''': What the [[Coinage#S|shmell]] happened?
<poem>'''Amy''': What the [[Coinage#S|shmell]] happened?


:'''Farnsworth''': A mass extinction. ''[Fry lands unceremoniously near them.]'' That solar flare created a huge {{w|Electromagnetic pulse}} that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': A mass extinction. ''[Fry lands unceremoniously near them.]'' That solar flare created a huge {{w|Electromagnetic pulse}} that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs.


:'''Leela''': [[Lampshade hanging|Convenient]]
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': [[Lampshade hanging|Convenient]]


:'''Farnsworth''': Only puny, {{w|mammal}}-like robots cowering in caves could survive such a catatrophe.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Only puny, {{w|mammal}}-like robots cowering in caves could survive such a catatrophe.</poem>


:''[Bender takes this moment to move the boulder and leave the cave. He is wearing a {{w|scarf}}. Guys, guys! I taught myself to {{w|knit}}.]''
:''[Bender waits until this moment to move the boulder and leave the cave. He is wearing a {{w|scarf}}. Guys, guys! I taught myself to {{w|knit}}.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet!
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet!</poem>


:''[Time Lapse. The crew is standing in front of a spaceship.]''  
:''[Time Lapse. The crew is standing in front of a spaceship.]''  


:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, well, it took almost two hours, but it's finished. ''[The crew cheers.]'' Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise.
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, well, it took almost two hours, but it's finished. ''[The crew cheers.]'' Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise.


:'''Bender''': Well, let's find something comfy to bed down on. ''[Time Lapse. Bender is sleeping on top of Fry, Hermes, and the Professor.]''
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Well, let's find something comfy to bed down on. ''[Time Lapse. Bender is sleeping on top of Fry, Hermes, and the Professor.]''</poem>


:''[Nearby, Leela and Amy are kidnapped by unknown robots. The rest take no notice, with Bender fluffing his Fry-pillow and turning over.]''
:''[Nearby, Leela and Amy are kidnapped by unknown robots. The rest take no notice, with Bender fluffing his Fry-pillow and turning over.]''
Line 319: Line 319:
:''[Time Lapse. The next morning, a mechanical {{w|rooster}} crows and the crew leaves their cave.]''
:''[Time Lapse. The next morning, a mechanical {{w|rooster}} crows and the crew leaves their cave.]''


:'''Fry''': Hey, looky here. ''[Mechanical flowers have sprung up,  there are animals everywhere.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Hey, looky here. ''[Mechanical flowers have sprung up,  there are animals everywhere.]''


:'''Hermes''': Sweet robot swan of Botswana!
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Sweet robot swan of Botswana!


:'''Bender''': Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh?
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh?


:'''Farnsworth''': Whatever.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Whatever.


:'''Fry''': Hey, looky there. ''[Amy and Leela are still being abducted.]''
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': Hey, looky there. ''[Amy and Leela are still being abducted.]''


:'''Hermes''': Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women!
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women!


:'''Fry''': We gotta save them! But the only weapon we have is my fan dance. ''[He shows off a fan.]''
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': We gotta save them! But the only weapon we have is my fan dance. ''[He shows off a fan.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Hmm, I believe I can fashion a slingshot using this robot wishbone and this elastic from my pants. ''[His pants fall down.]''
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Hmm, I believe I can fashion a slingshot using this robot wishbone and this elastic from my pants. ''[His pants fall down.]''</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Cavemen's cave. The cavemen drops their captives on the ground. They grunt at them and drop a broom nearby.]''
:''['''Scene''': Cavemen's cave. The cavemen drops their captives on the ground. They grunt at them and drop a broom nearby.]''


:'''Amy''': I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we still get half their rocks.
<poem>'''Amy''': I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we still get half their rocks.


:'''Leela''': I can earn my own rocks. Also, I don't want any rocks.
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': I can earn my own rocks. Also, I don't want any rocks.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Outside the Crew's cave.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside the Crew's cave.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished.
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished.


:'''Hermes''': It's too dark now, but first thing tomorrow we'll slingshot them like they've never been slangshat. ''[They go into their cave.]''
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': It's too dark now, but first thing tomorrow we'll slingshot them like they've never been slangshat. ''[They go into their cave.]''


:'''[Time Lapse. The next morning. The remaining crew run out of the cave, screaming war cries. They run right past Amy and Leela. They stop and run back.]''
</poem><poem>''[Time Lapse. The next morning. The remaining crew run out of the cave, screaming war cries. They run right past Amy and Leela. They stop and run back.]''


:'''Fry''': What's going on? How did we save you?
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': What's going on? How did we save you?


:'''Amy''': It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone.
</poem><poem>'''Amy''': It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone.


:'''Leela''': I'm gonna miss Spencer.
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': I'm gonna miss Spencer.</poem>


:''[Something rustles in the bushes nearby. The robot woman comes out. Fry snorts and scratches his head in confusion.]''
:''[Something rustles in the bushes nearby. The robot woman comes out. Fry snorts and scratches his head in confusion.]''


:'''[[Dr. Widnar]]''': Don't be afraid, little guys. I'm not gonna hurt you. ''[She throws a net on Fry.]''
<poem>'''[[Dr. Widnar]]''': Don't be afraid, little guys. I'm not gonna hurt you. ''[She throws a net on Fry.]''


:'''Fry''': ''[He whistles.]'' Nice net.
</poem><poem>'''Fry''': ''[He whistles.]'' Nice net.


:'''Widnar''': You can speak?
</poem><poem>'''Widnar''': You can speak?


:'''Hermes''': Dread my locks! It's a fully-evolved robot human.
</poem><poem>'''Hermes''': Dread my locks! It's a fully-evolved robot human.


:'''Widnar''': I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist.
</poem><poem>'''Widnar''': I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist.


:'''Bender''': And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side.


:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, shut up!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, shut up!


:'''Widnar'''': Amazing. ''[She pokes Hermes.]'' I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof.
</poem><poem>'''Widnar'''': Amazing. ''[She pokes Hermes.]'' I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof.


:'''Leela''': Good for you. Can we go home now? ''[Widnar throws a net on Leela.]''
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': Good for you. Can we go home now? ''[Widnar throws a net on Leela.]''</poem>


:''['''Scene''': [[Museum of Natural Robo-History]]. The crew looks at the "Ascent of Bot". Widnar steps up to a podium.]''
:''['''Scene''': [[Museum of Natural Robo-History]]. The crew looks at the "Ascent of Bot". Widnar steps up to a podium.]''


:'''Widnar''': Welcome, museum members, or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[A robot coughs.]'' I now present my latest discovery, the amazing non-mechanical man, ''Homo farnsworth''.
<poem>'''Widnar''': Welcome, museum members, or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. ''[A robot coughs.]'' I now present my latest discovery, the amazing non-mechanical man, ''Homo farnsworth''.


:'''Farnsworth''': Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors.</poem>


:''[The crowd gasps.]''
:''[The crowd gasps.]''


:'''Widnar''': What?
<poem>'''Widnar''': What?


:'''Farnsworth''': I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago.


:'''Widnar''': But this is Creationist talk!
</poem><poem>'''Widnar''': But this is Creationist talk!


:'''[[Robot Farnsworth]]''': He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days.
</poem><poem>'''[[Robot Farnsworth]]''': He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days.


:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. ''[He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]''  
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. ''[He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]''  


:'''Widnar''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore! ''[She blasts off.]''
</poem><poem>'''Widnar''': I don't want to live on this planet anymore! ''[She blasts off.]''


:'''Robo-Police''': You're under arrest for crimes against science.
</poem><poem>'''Robo-Police''': You're under arrest for crimes against science.


:'''Farnsworth''' ''[He is dragged off.]'' No! Could you drag me by the restroom?
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''' ''[He is dragged off.]'' No! Could you drag me by the restroom?</poem>


:''[USB Today Headline: "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." Underneath, "Carbon-based life discovered.]''
:''[USB Today Headline: "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." Underneath, "Carbon-based life discovered.]''
Line 403: Line 403:
:''['''Scene''': [[Superior Gort]]. Exterior. Protestors are hassling the Professor.]''
:''['''Scene''': [[Superior Gort]]. Exterior. Protestors are hassling the Professor.]''


:'''Robot''': Go back to Roboklahoma!
<poem>'''Robot''': Go back to Roboklahoma!</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Superior Gort.]''
:''['''Scene''': Superior Gort.]''


:'''[[Superior Gort Judge]]''': Order! In the matter of ''[[Everyone v. Farnsworth]]'', the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused?
<poem>'''[[Superior Gort Judge]]''': Order! In the matter of ''[[Everyone v. Farnsworth]]'', the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused?


:'''Leela''': I am...
</poem><poem>'''Leela''': I am...


:'''Bender''': I am, your Honor. ''[Everyone else gasps.]''
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': I am, your Honor. ''[Everyone else gasps.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Bender, what the Hell are you doing?
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Bender, what the Hell are you doing?


:'''Bender''': Shut up, I'm billing you by the hour! Besides, I'm a robot, they'll listen to me. ''[He clears his throat.]'' Ladytrons and gentlebots...
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Shut up, I'm billing you by the hour! Besides, I'm a robot, they'll listen to me. ''[He clears his throat.]'' Ladytrons and gentlebots...


:'''[[Superior Gort Prosecutor]]''': Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose.
</poem><poem>'''[[Superior Gort Prosecutor]]''': Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose.


:'''Superior Gort Judge''': I'm going to allow them, for now.
</poem><poem>'''Superior Gort Judge''': I'm going to allow them, for now.


:'''Bender''': Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in providing the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! ''[Everyone gasps again.]''
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in providing the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! ''[Everyone gasps again.]''


:'''Farnsworth''': Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle.  
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle. </poem>


:''[Fry gives a thumbs-up.]''
:''[Fry gives a thumbs-up.]''


:'''Superior Gort Judge''': Prosecutor, your opening statement?
<poem>'''Superior Gort Judge''': Prosecutor, your opening statement?


:''' Superior Gort Prosecutor''': ''[on cell-phone.] '' Yeah, honey. I'll be home by dinner. ''[To the Judge.]''  The prosecution rests, your Honor.
</poem><poem>''' Superior Gort Prosecutor''': ''[on cell-phone.] '' Yeah, honey. I'll be home by dinner. ''[To the Judge.]''  The prosecution rests, your Honor.


:'''Superior Gort Judge''': Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict.
</poem><poem>'''Superior Gort Judge''': Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict.</poem>


:''[A {{w|fork-lift}} carries the jury box out of the room.]''
:''[A {{w|fork-lift}} carries the jury box out of the room.]''


:'''Bender''': Son, you in a whole mess of trouble.
<poem>'''Bender''': ''[To Farnsworth.]'' Son, you in a whole mess of trouble.</poem>


:''[Time lapse. The next morning. A gavel bangs.]''
:''[Time lapse. The next morning. A gavel bangs.]''


:'''Superior Gort Judge''': Has the jury reached a verdict?
<poem>'''Superior Gort Judge''': Has the jury reached a verdict?


:'''[[Robot gas forms]]: No, we have not, for we have all evolved into high states of consciousness. ''[They are all energy beings.]'' In the grand scheme of things, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. ''[A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]''
</poem><poem>'''[[Robotic gas forms]]: No, we have not, for we have all evolved into high states of consciousness. ''[They are all energy beings.]'' In the grand scheme of things, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. ''[A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]''


:'''Bender''': That'll be $10,000.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': ''[To Farnsworth.]'' That'll be $10,000.</poem>


:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]''


:'''Banjo''': Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution.
<poem>'''Banjo''': Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution.


:'''Farnsworth''': I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo.


:'''Banjo''': Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.


:'''Farnsworth''': ''[He chuckles.]'' Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth.
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': ''[He chuckles.]'' Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth.


:'''Bender''': And the Creator could also be a robot.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': And the Creator could also be a robot.


:'''Farnsworth''': And who would have built this so-called Creator-robot?
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': And who would have built this so-called Creator-robot?


:'''Banjo''': Some magical bearded robot in the sky? ''[He and Farnsworth laugh.]''
</poem><poem>'''Banjo''': Some magical bearded robot in the sky? ''[He and Farnsworth laugh.]''


:'''Bender''': I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.
</poem><poem>'''Bender''': I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.


:'''Farnsworth''': Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I am happy to raise my son!
</poem><poem>'''Farnsworth''': Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I am happy to raise my son!


:'''Zoidberg''': Good, cause I'm sick of him!
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': Good, cause I'm sick of him!</poem>


:''[Closing Credits.]''
:''[Closing Credits.]''


:'''Zoidberg''': ''[Over credits.]'' I'm serious. He's a terrible person.
</poem><poem>'''Zoidberg''': ''[Over credits.]'' I'm serious. He's a terrible person.</poem>


{{navigation bottom/transcript
{{navigation bottom/transcript

Revision as of 03:35, 20 March 2011

Transcript for
A Clockwork Origin
Written byDan Vebber
Transcribed byTeyrn of Highever
[Opening Credits: This time, it's personal.]
[Scene: Planet Express, Meeting Room. The crew are sitting at the table.]

[Hermes]: Item one... Duck! [Most duck just in time, but Bender is clipped by Cubert on a party board.

Prof. Farnsworth: Cubert, you crapscallion! What aren't you in school?

Cubert: I couldn't get past the protesters. A bunch of smiling, angry people were handing out these anti-evolution flyers.

[He shows the Professor one. It shows a woman spanking a man wearing a dunce cap that says "Darwin". It reads, "Teach truth, not evolution. Also bring back spanking".]

Farnsworth: [He gasps.] Evolution is under attack at our schools? To the science mobile.

Leela: You mean the ship?

Farnsworth: Yes. The science mobile!

Leela It's just that you've never called it that before, but okay.

[Scene: Wozniak Nerd Academy. The ship passes a sign that says "Go Flinchers!" It lands.]

Woman: I don't understand evolution, and I have to protect my kids from understanding it! We will not give in to the thinkers!

[The crowd listening cheers]

Farnsworth: [Walking to the podium.] You people are as loud as you are ignorant. Now, get back on your turnip trucks and go home!

[The crowd boos.]

Hydroponic Farmer: [Standing in front of a turnip truck.] That is an insulting accurate stereotype, sir!

Farnsworth: As a professor of science, I assure you we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey-men.

Dr. Banjo: I can't speak for you, sir, but mine ancestors were not monkeys. They were orangutans. Hard-working, patriotic orangutans.

[An orangutan walks up from the crowd. He is wearing a suit and glasses.]

Farnsworth: Dr. Banjo?

Dr. Banjo: In the fur. And I remind you that evolution is merely a theory. Like gravity, or the shape of the Earth.

[The crowd cheers again.]

Flying Spaghetti Monster: Hey, Professor, I'm a Flying Spaghetti Monster. You seriously saying that I descended from some kind of flightless manicotti?

Farnsworth: Yes!

Banjo: Oh, please. A far more logical explanation is the undisprovable science of Creatureism. All life was created in its present form seven thousand years ago, by a fantastical creature from outer space!

Farnsworth: Bunk!

Banjo: Oh! [He shows a hologram of a man and a Chimpanzee, with a backwards prohibition sign running through an arrow.] If you elitist, East Coast evolution is real, why has no one found the missing link between modern humans and ancient apes?

Farnsworth: We did find it! [The arrow is replaced by Homo erectus.] It's called Homo erectus!

Banjo: Then you have proven my case, sir, for no one has found a link between apes and this Homo erectus. [The arrow is put between before Homo erectus.]

Farnsworth: Yes, they have! [The hologram fills in again.] It's called Homo habilis!

Banjo: Ah-ha! But no one has found the missing link between ape and this so called Homo habilis.

Farnsworth: Yes, they have! [The hologram fills in.] It's called Australopithecus africanus!

Banjo: Oh-ho! I've got you now! [Time Lapse. The hologram now shows 19 different species of ape. Only Fry and Leela are still there.] Fair enough, but where, then, is the missing link between apes and this Darwinius masillae? Answer me that, Professor!

Farnsworth: Okay, granted, that one missing link is still missing, but just because we haven't found it doesn't mean it doesn't exist!

Banjo: [He scoffs.] Things don't exist simply because you believe in them. Thus sayeth the Almighty Creature in the Sky!

[Scene: Oldluvial Gorge. A sign reads "Welcome to Olduvial Gorge. Birthplace of Ryan Seacreast (and the rest of humanity). The crew are excavating.]

Farnsworth: I'll show that banana-swilling, poop-slinger! We just need to find that last missing link.

Leela: I found a missing link. It seems to be half-man, half-toucan. [She shows a human shaped skull with a large beak.]

Farnsworth: Not what we're looking for. Throw it in the soup! [She throws it in a pot.]

Hermes: And here's something. [He holds up a fossilized dog] Uh-oh. It's another one of Fry's dogs.

Fry: Did you say something, Hermes?

Hermes: [Hiding the fossil behind his back.] Nothing. [The dog lands in the soup.]

Amy: I hate chiseling right after a manicure. Oh! Darn it! I broke off one of my fingers!

Zoidberg: [He and Cubert are standing near the fossil of a long-necked reptile.] Look, Cubert. The neck on this one. I bet he spent a fortune on ties! [Cubert looks at him, deadpan.] What, too soon?

Cubert: I highly doubt a Jurassic Elaphrosaurus has access to neckwear.

Zoidberg: I knew I should have gone with the ring-around-the-collar joke.

Bender: Hey, look! I found a robot fossil! [He picks up a spring.]

Farnsworth: That's a bedspring, you dumb bedspring! There are no robot fossils!

Bender: What? Who says I didn't evolve?

Farnsworth: Everybody! Robots were invented quite recently. It was in all the papers.

Bender: Then explain this! [He turns around and works on something. He turns around and shows the Professor. He has put eyes on the spring and mounted it on a plaque that says "I hate Mondays".]

[Time Lapse.]

Farnsworth: I've hit a rich vein of missing links. Java Man, Piltdown Man, Manfred Mann. [He throws out the skulls as he names them.] Eureka! [He is holding a skull.] It's the elusive missing missing link! This will show Banjo, once and for all!

[The crew cheers from nearby, where they are eating their soup.]

Fry: [He scoops up some soup. Amy's finger is in the spoon.] What the...

Amy: Oh, that's mine. [She takes it back.]

[Scene: NNY. Museum of Natural History. A banner reads "World Bone Premiere".]

Bender: [He walks up to the Professor, wearing an under-sized Tuxedo.] Hmm, my tux doesn't fit. Probably because I've grown so much since I last wore it, or evolved, one much say.

Farnsworth: One might not say that. Your tux doesn't fit is because you stole it from a boy!

Bender: You mean a man! It was his Bar Mitzvah.

Ben Beeler: Welcome, museum members. Or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. [The crowd chuckles weakly.]

Zoidberg: [To Cubert.] He's good.

Beeler: Tonight, we have a new resident here in the hall of Hominids, generously donated by its discoverer, Hubert Farnsworth. Ladies and gentlemen, Homo farnsworth. [A curtain rises, revealing the skull and an artist's recreation of the hominid.]

Farnsworth: Once again, science saves the day. The end.

Beeler: And now, to discuss the scientific implications of this discovery, our new museum curator, Dr. Banjo!

[The Professor does a spit take His dentures land in a painting of a Tarsier].

Banjo: Thank you Professor Farnsworth, for your generous gift, which has, once and for all dis-proven evolution. [He pulls a cord and a painting of Homo farnsworth riding a dinosaur is revealed.] Behold! Homo farnsworth frolicking with dinosaurs at the moment of creation.

Farnsworth: I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[Scene: Outside Planet Express. The ship blasts off.]
[Scene: Deep Space.]

Farnsworth: Faster! faster! Just drop me off at that asteroid over there.

[Scene: Robo-Planetoid.]

Leela: Wow, this planetoid is completely lifeless.

Farnsworth: Not lifeless enough! Set up my shack so that I can kick you out of it!

[Hermes sets down a container labeled "Blow Shack" and pulls the cord. The shack pops up and sends Hermes flying.]

Fry: [Looking at a polluted pond.] Professor, is this your only water source? It looks like Diet Dr. Pepper.

Farnsworth: It's not that bad. It's just laden with toxic minerals. But not for long. [He rattles a tube.]

Fry: What's in the tube?

Farnsworth: Microscopic Nanobots. [He empties the tube. The robots quickly start cleaning the water.] They're tiny robots I designed to eat up nasty irritants.

Fry: Speaking of nasty irritants, what's going to become of Cubert?

Farnsworth: Who? Oh, my son. Don't worry, he's been safely abandoned with his godfather.

[Scene: Planet Express. Cubert and Dr. Zoidberg are sitting at a table.]

Zoidberg: Cubert, I felt we needed some father-son bonding time, so I found a couple of baseball gloves and boiled them up for lunch.

Cubert: Why don't you just go to Hell!

Zoidberg: Wait! We still have to discuss the facts of life. What are they?

[Scene: Robo-Planetoid.]

Hermes: [He walks out of the Professor's shack.] Okay, I finished moving the last grand piano. Now can we have our pizza?

Farnsworth: You'll get your damned pizza, you parasite! First, let me see if my Nanobots have purified the water yet. [He pours some water from an Erlenmeyer flask on to a microscope slide and examines it.] Ah, the water's as sterile as my milkman-trusting father. But what's this? The Nanobots have gotten more complex.

Bender: What's that you say? Those robots have evolved all by themselves, you say?

Farnsworth: It wasn't by themselves! I put them there. I'm a genius. Get over it!

Amy: Hey look, now they gotten bigger. [The robots are coming onshore.]

Farnsworth: Good heavens! Trilobots!

[The Trilobots cannibalize the ship while the crew look on in shock.]

Leela: Oh no! My sunglasses were in there!

[Time lapse. The Trilobots attack the crew.]

Hermes: Let's get the pizza out of here. [Hermes runs off with the pizza. The crew follows. The Trilobots cannibalize everything, including the Professor's shack and the piano inside.]

Amy: Look, there's a cave-like hole in that mountain. It might be a cave. [The crew runs into the cave and blocks the door with a boulder.]

Leela: Does anyone have a lighter?

Bender: Hang on. [He opens a beer and drinks. He burps and adjusts the flame.]

Leela: Okay, we've got shelter and just enough precious food to ward off starvation.

Hermes: It's pizza time. [He passes boxes to the rest of the crew.]

Amy: Pineapple?

Hermes: So much for that. [They all throw away the pizza.]

[Scene: Planet Express. Cubert's room.]

Zoidberg: Hello, I remembered you like superheroes so I painted you a mural on your wall. [He points to a crude drawing of himself and Cubert in costume.] This is Father-Man. He fights crime to earn Son-Boy's respect. Is it working?

Cubert: This is sucky! You suck! Who taught you to do three-point perspective? I could make a better mural with my butt!

Zoidberg: [Sadly.] Father-Man away. [Cubert looks ashamed.]

[Scene: Robo-Planetoid. The crew is waking up.]

Hermes: Nothing like a cave for a good night's sleep. So what do we have to eat that's not poisoned with pineapple?

Farnsworth: I packed plenty of food, but it's all in dehydrated pill form. [He holds up a bottle that says "Steak Diner 40mg. Fixin's 10mg".]

Leela: Then we need water from that pond. We'll have to fight our way past the Trilobots. [Bender moves the boulder.] Go! Go! Hit anything that moves!

[The crew rushes out, Karate-chopping the non-existent enemies. They all fall into a pile. They get up and take in their surroundings.]

Fry: Whoa.

Bender: Wow.

Amy: An entire forest grew overnight.

Farsworth: [He knocks on a tree. It is metal and hollow.] These trees are robotic. I can't believe how quickly they sprung up.

Bender: I can. Robots do everything faster. Including evolving and believing how quickly things spring up.

Leela: [She gets water from the pond and re-hydrates the pill. It turns into a steak.] One this about Bristol-Myers Squibb, they know how to cook a steak. [She takes a bite.]

Fry: [In the pond, using a robotic leaf as a boat.] Look at me, I'm the Ty-D-Bol man. I own a yacht an everyone poops on me. [He is attacked by a robotic Plesiosaurs.] Help! Police!

Leela: Everybody grab a club. [The rest of the crew starts hitting the robot.]

Fry: [The robot throws opens its mouth and Fry hits the ground, several feet away.] Oh, big, tough water guy, why don't you come up here on land and... [A robotic T-Rex grabs him in its jaws.]

Amy: Look out for the next thing!

[A robotic Triceratops rams the T-Rex. The T-Rex robot falls into the water and the Triceratops turns on the crew.]

Farnsworth: Great Scott, Tricycle-tops!

[The two robot dinosaurs in the pond attack each other.]

Fry Woo-hoo! Throw down dinosaurs of the land and sea. [Something crows and Fry screams. A robot Pterosaur carries him off.] This is a cool way to die!

[Scene: Outside Planet Express.]

Cubert: Dr. Zoidberg? I'm sorry for treating you like a total Zoidberg... I mean, loser. [Zoidberg comes out of his dumpster.]

Zoidberg: Go on.

Cubert: It's just that I get bullied a lot. I guess I kinda make fun of people as a defense mechanism.

Brett Blob: Hey, Cubert, is that your family mansion? [He laughs.]

Cubert: Why don't you ask your mom? She's coming over for a sex visit.

[Brett's insides start boiling and he pushes himself through a fence, coming towards Cubert. Cubert sees this and backs away, whimpering.]

Zoidberg: Don't worry, I know just how to handle bullies. Just pretend like you're pathetic. Help, I'm scared. I wet myself. I'm crying like a baby and I'm soaking in pee, but what else is new? [He bursts into tears.]

Brett: [He laughs.] The pee-babies peed themselves. I'm off to pottery class, dorkwads.

Zoidberg: And that's that.

Cubert: Woah! You're like some kind of dumpster Jedi.

Zoidberg: So, you wanna come in maybe? [He opens the other lid.] I've got a nice pound cake with a footprint on it.

[Scene: Robo-Planetoid. Fry is being taken to the robot Pterosaur's nest.]

Fry: [Trying to avoid the babies Pterosaurs.] Ah! Don't eat my butt!

[The others are crawling in the brush, trying to get to Fry.]

Leela: If this is anything like killing that pigeon on my balcony, we've got our work cut out for us.

[The robot T-rex and another dinosaur attack them. Fry is still trying not to be eaten. The sun flares.]

Farnsworth: Look out, a solar flare!

[An energy wave hits the Planetoid, turning Fry's hair into an afro and short-circuiting the robots.

Amy: What the shmell happened?

Farnsworth: A mass extinction. [Fry lands unceremoniously near them.] That solar flare created a huge Electromagnetic pulse that while harmless to organic life, short-circuited the robo-dinosaurs.

Leela: Convenient

Farnsworth: Only puny, mammal-like robots cowering in caves could survive such a catatrophe.

[Bender waits until this moment to move the boulder and leave the cave. He is wearing a scarf. Guys, guys! I taught myself to knit.]

Farnsworth: Wait a moment. If we could scavenge the right parts from these robo-dinos, I might be able to construct a rudimentary spaceship to get us off this planet!

[Time Lapse. The crew is standing in front of a spaceship.]

Farnsworth: Oh, well, it took almost two hours, but it's finished. [The crew cheers.] Now let's go... to sleep. It's solar powered, so we can't take off until sunrise.

Bender: Well, let's find something comfy to bed down on. [Time Lapse. Bender is sleeping on top of Fry, Hermes, and the Professor.]

[Nearby, Leela and Amy are kidnapped by unknown robots. The rest take no notice, with Bender fluffing his Fry-pillow and turning over.]
[Time Lapse. The next morning, a mechanical rooster crows and the crew leaves their cave.]

Fry: Hey, looky here. [Mechanical flowers have sprung up, there are animals everywhere.]

Hermes: Sweet robot swan of Botswana!

Bender: Looks like the fittest did a little surviving last night, huh?

Farnsworth: Whatever.

Fry: Hey, looky there. [Amy and Leela are still being abducted.]

Hermes: Those robo-cavemen have kidnapped our human regular-women!

Fry: We gotta save them! But the only weapon we have is my fan dance. [He shows off a fan.]

Farnsworth: Hmm, I believe I can fashion a slingshot using this robot wishbone and this elastic from my pants. [His pants fall down.]

[Scene: Cavemen's cave. The cavemen drops their captives on the ground. They grunt at them and drop a broom nearby.]

Amy: I think they want wives, so just play along. If it doesn't work out, we still get half their rocks.

Leela: I can earn my own rocks. Also, I don't want any rocks.

[Scene: Outside the Crew's cave.]

Farnsworth: Well, it took almost twelve hours, but it's finished.

Hermes: It's too dark now, but first thing tomorrow we'll slingshot them like they've never been slangshat. [They go into their cave.]

[Time Lapse. The next morning. The remaining crew run out of the cave, screaming war cries. They run right past Amy and Leela. They stop and run back.]

Fry: What's going on? How did we save you?

Amy: It was the weirdest thing. We went to sleep, and when we woke up, our cave husbands were gone.

Leela: I'm gonna miss Spencer.

[Something rustles in the bushes nearby. The robot woman comes out. Fry snorts and scratches his head in confusion.]

Dr. Widnar: Don't be afraid, little guys. I'm not gonna hurt you. [She throws a net on Fry.]

Fry: [He whistles.] Nice net.

Widnar: You can speak?

Hermes: Dread my locks! It's a fully-evolved robot human.

Widnar: I'm Dr. Widnar, a naturalist.

Bender: And I'm Bender, baby. My human slaves and I come from a planet where organic life and robotic life evolved side by side.

Farnsworth: Oh, shut up!

Widnar': Amazing. [She pokes Hermes.] I've theorized that carbon-based, fat-filled life could exist, but until today, I never had any proof.

Leela: Good for you. Can we go home now? [Widnar throws a net on Leela.]

[Scene: Museum of Natural Robo-History. The crew looks at the "Ascent of Bot". Widnar steps up to a podium.]

Widnar: Welcome, museum members, or, as I like to call you, future exhibits. [A robot coughs.] I now present my latest discovery, the amazing non-mechanical man, Homo farnsworth.

Farnsworth: Thank you. I must say, I'm so proud to see what you've blossomed into since I first created your ancestors.

[The crowd gasps.]

Widnar: What?

Farnsworth: I thought you knew. You all evolved from some filth-gobbling Nanobots I designed. I dumped them in one of your ponds a few days ago.

Widnar: But this is Creationist talk!

Robot Farnsworth: He speaks lies! The Earth was created in eons not days.

Farnsworth: Yes, relative to you, it was eons, but, well, look at this hologram I took the day before yesterday of a robot frolicking with a robo-dinosaur. [He shows a hologram of Bender riding one of the dinosaurs. The crowd gasps again.]

Widnar: I don't want to live on this planet anymore! [She blasts off.]

Robo-Police: You're under arrest for crimes against science.

Farnsworth [He is dragged off.] No! Could you drag me by the restroom?

[USB Today Headline: "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." Underneath, "Carbon-based life discovered.]
[Scene: Superior Gort. Exterior. Protestors are hassling the Professor.]

Robot: Go back to Roboklahoma!

[Scene: Superior Gort.]

Superior Gort Judge: Order! In the matter of Everyone v. Farnsworth, the alleged creationist faces a sentence of death by melting. Who is representing the accused?

Leela: I am...

Bender: I am, your Honor. [Everyone else gasps.]

Farnsworth: Bender, what the Hell are you doing?

Bender: Shut up, I'm billing you by the hour! Besides, I'm a robot, they'll listen to me. [He clears his throat.] Ladytrons and gentlebots...

Superior Gort Prosecutor: Objection. In the absence of pants, defense's suspenders serve no purpose.

Superior Gort Judge: I'm going to allow them, for now.

Bender: Thank you. Your Honor, this meat-man does not deny that we robots are the glorious products of evolution. He claim only to have played a small role in providing the initial machinery. I ask you, is that so crazy? Yes, it completely crazy, and that is why you must find him not guilty by reason of insanity! [Everyone gasps again.]

Farnsworth: Objection, I'm not crazy! I created you all and I came here in a homemade spaceship and lived in a cave. If you don't believe me, ask my uncle.

[Fry gives a thumbs-up.]

Superior Gort Judge: Prosecutor, your opening statement?

Superior Gort Prosecutor: [on cell-phone.] Yeah, honey. I'll be home by dinner. [To the Judge.] The prosecution rests, your Honor.

Superior Gort Judge: Very well, we will reconvene when the jury reaches a verdict.

[A fork-lift carries the jury box out of the room.]

Bender: [To Farnsworth.] Son, you in a whole mess of trouble.

[Time lapse. The next morning. A gavel bangs.]

Superior Gort Judge: Has the jury reached a verdict?

Robotic gas forms: No, we have not, for we have all evolved into high states of consciousness. [They are all energy beings.] In the grand scheme of things, all physical beings are but yokels. Now, settle your petty squabbles and get the hell out. [A blinding flash occurs and the energy beings are gone.]

Bender: [To Farnsworth.] That'll be $10,000.

[Scene: Planet Express. The ship lands. The Professor is showing Banjo pictures of his experience.]

Banjo: Well, digital photographs don't lie. I admit what you witnessed may have been some form of evolution.

Farnsworth: I'm glad you agree, Dr. Banjo.

Banjo: Evolution set into motion by a wise and all-knowing Creator. You.

Farnsworth: [He chuckles.] Well I don't know about all-knowing. And I admit it's possible, however unlikely, that some wise and all-knowing alien monster set evolution in motion here on Earth.

Bender: And the Creator could also be a robot.

Farnsworth: And who would have built this so-called Creator-robot?

Banjo: Some magical bearded robot in the sky? [He and Farnsworth laugh.]

Bender: I guess that would be stupid. Never mind.

Farnsworth: Then it's settled. Finally, a world in which I am happy to raise my son!

Zoidberg: Good, cause I'm sick of him!

[Closing Credits.]

</poem>

Zoidberg: [Over credits.] I'm serious. He's a terrible person.