Transcript:A Farewell to Arms

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Transcript for
A Farewell to Arms
Written byJosh Weinstein
Transcribed bySanfazer and Roboto63

[Note: This section of the transcript is based on a preview video released by Entertainment Weekly on 18 June 2012.][1]
[Scene: A cave.]

Amy: Oh my God! Look what my flashlight found!

[The flashlight reveals a giant pyramid, which has a giant circular object. Amy, Bender, Hermes, Professor Farnsworth, Scruffy, Zoidberg and Fry, who is not wearing a shirt and covered in an unknown substance.]

Zoidberg: A giant pyramid under New New York? What badger could have built this?

Farnsworth: And look at this intricately carved disk! It merits years of study. But how can we move such a fragile, precious...

[Cut to: The streets of New New York. People run away as Bender rolls the disk, destroying several cars in the process.]

Bender: Ancient history coming through! [Bender rolls the disk over the Falafel cart man and his cart, crushing him.]

[Cut to: The Planet Express conference room. Amy, Professor Farnsworth, Leela, Fry, Scruffy, Hermes, Amy, Zoidberg and Bender are around the disk, which has been placed on the conference table. Leela is on crutches. Amy and Professor Farnsworth are inspecting the disk with some electronic devices. Behind the two is another electronic device with a screen.]

Farnsworth: Amazing! It appears to be some kind of extremely ancient calendar! Predating even the girls of Sumeria! Of course! It's a Mayan calendar! [The device's screen shows the disk with what appears to be the label "MAYAN CALENDAR".] No...wait! There's some dried-up old stew on the screen.
<poem>Scruffy: Sorry. I was eating a can of breakfast and looking at porn.

[Amy rubs off the stew, revealing that what appeared to be the word "MAYAN" is actually the word "MARTIAN".]

Amy: [Gasps.] It's not Mayan, it's Martian!

[Note: This section of the transcript is based on the Countdown to Futurama post "The World Is Ending Again Clip" - of 8 May 2012.] [2]
[Scene: Outside the Planet Express headquarters. An infernal storm is taking place. A dramatic piece of music stops playing.]
[Cut to: The Planet Express conference room. Leela, Fry, Scruffy, Hermes, Amy, Zoidberg and Bender are standing around the calendar - which, like the conference table, is round. Leela is on crutches.]

Hermes: Is it just me - or is the world endin' more often these days?

Amy: The calendar predicts fires, earthquakes, sharksplosions... [Amy points at three different spots on the table.] Then, it just ends!

[Amy shrugs and puts her hands on her face. Farnsworth inserts a plug coming from the screen in what appears to be a hot air balloon.]

Farnsworth: Exactly as the weather balloon foretold! Before Fry blew 'is pants outta the sky, it detected the onset of a catastrophic sunspot cycle. [Farnsworth turns on the screen - which begins showing the sun. The camera zooms in on it. A scary Alien piece of music begins playing and a solar flare appears. The windows are broken by the solar flare and the crew looks scared. Bender and Hermes scream.] It's starting! This is the end of the world!

[Farnsworth points up with his right hand.]
[Cut to: The street. People are running and screaming. Hovercars are crashing. The camera pans up. A building and a billboard are displaying the words "WORLD ENDING". A man is on a rooftop and a woman and another man are looking out their windows. A man in an apron screams as he falls down. The rooftop man jumps and also screams and the woman jumps out her window and holds on to the edge. The superhero from The Beast with a Billion Backs flies by and the scary Alien piece of music stops playing.]
[The superhero flies away and the woman falls off. A man in a suit holding a suitcase runs around a corner while speaking gibberish, throws the suitcase away, runs into Nine - who is holding a sign reading "THE END IS NEAR" - and shakes Nine. Nine looks angry as the man resumes running.]

Nine: Some of us were crazy before it was cool.

[Note: This section of the transcript is based on a Comedy Central advertisment, aired on or before 1 June.][3]
[Scene: The balcony of the Planet Express building. In the background, a lightning storm rages on in the orange sky. Leela and Fry are standing on the balcony, holding hands.]

Leela: Do you wanna join the balcony club?

[Fry starts smiling. Zoidberg walks in on the two of them.]

Zoidberg: The balcony club? I have an individual membership!


  1. ^ Snierson, Dan (18 June 2012). "'Futurama': Bender impregnates a soda machine! -- EXCLUSIVE VIDEO". Retrieved on 18 June 2012.
  2. ^ Matt Tobey (08 May 2012). Countdown to Futurama: The World Is Ending Again Clip. (Comedy Centrl [sic].) Retrieved on 08 May 2012.
  3. ^ punkyacturbo (01 June 2012). New Futurama Ad 2012 (Video). (YouTube.) Retrieved on 16 June 2012.