Difference between revisions of "Transcript:A Fishful of Dollars"

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|written by=[[Patric M. Verrone]]
|written by=[[Patric M. Verrone]]
|thanks to=''The Neutral Planet''
|thanks to=''The Neutral Planet''
|prev ep=Fear of a Bot Planet (transcript)
|prev ep=Fear of a Bot Planet
|next ep=My Three Suns (transcript)
|next ep=My Three Suns
}}
}}
:''['''Scene''': Fry's Bedroom. Fry is awoken by squeaking bed springs from the apartment next door. He growls.]''
:''['''Scene''': Fry's Bedroom. Fry is awoken by squeaking bed springs from the apartment next door. He growls.]''
<poem>'''[[Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': I can't take it anymore! They've been at it for ''hours''! ''[He bangs on the wall.]'' (shouting) Give it a rest, you two!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|00|08}}'''[[Philip J. Fry|Fry]]''': I can't take it anymore! They've been at it for ''hours''! ''[He bangs on the wall.]'' (shouting) Give it a rest, you two!</poem>
:''['''Cut to''': Apartment 00111001. The robots sit playing poker. They have springy bodies which are constantly squeaking. One of the robots oils his springs.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Apartment 00111001. The robots sit playing poker. They have springy bodies which are constantly squeaking. One of the robots oils his springs.]''
<poem>'''Robot''': [shouting] Sorry!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|00|20}}'''[[Spring Robots|Robot]]''': [shouting] Sorry!</poem>
:''[Opening Credits. Caption: Loading...]''
:''[Opening Credits. Caption: Loading...]''
:''['''Scene''': Fry's Bedroom. Fry sleeps.]''
:''['''Scene''': Fry's Bedroom. Fry sleeps.]''
:''['''Fade to''': Fry's Dream. He is in a packed lecture hall. An old teacher stands at the front of the room. She wears frosted half-moon glasses and has grey hair.]''
:''['''Fade to''': Fry's Dream. He is in a packed lecture hall. An old teacher stands at the front of the room. She wears frosted half-moon glasses and has grey hair.]''
<poem>'''[[Dream Teacher|Teacher]]''': Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|00|56}}'''[[Dream Teacher|Teacher]]''': Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|00}}'''Fry''': Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?</poem>
<poem>'''Teacher''': Ancient Egyptian algebra.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|05}}'''Teacher''': Ancient Egyptian algebra.</poem>
:''[She points to the blackboard, revealing it is filled with Egyptian hieroglyphs. Fry gasps.]''
:''[She points to the blackboard, revealing it is filled with Egyptian hieroglyphs. Fry gasps.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': What a nightmare!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|08}}'''Fry''': What a nightmare!</poem>
<poem>'''Teacher''': Mister Fry, are those your ''underpants''? ''[Fry looks down and sees he is wearing only his briefs. He stands up and the whole class laughs and points. He gasps.]'' Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|09}}'''Teacher''': Mister Fry, are those your ''underpants''? ''[Fry looks down and sees he is wearing only his briefs. He stands up and the whole class laughs and points. He gasps.]'' Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs.</poem>
:''[She pulls down a poster showing the briefs.]''
:''[She pulls down a poster showing the briefs.]''
<poem>'''Announcer''': [voice-over] Lightspeed fits today's active lifestyle. Whether you're on the job ... ''[Fry suddenly appears in a company meeting wearing just Lightspeeds.]'' ... or having fun. ''[He sits with a woman on a bed.]'' Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|22}}'''Announcer''': [voice-over] Lightspeed fits today's active lifestyle. Whether you're on the job ... ''[Fry suddenly appears in a company meeting wearing just Lightspeeds.]'' ... or having fun. ''[He sits with a woman on a bed.]'' Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.</poem>
:''[Like an advertisement, a pair of lightspeeds appear in front of a flashing background.]''
:''[Like an advertisement, a pair of lightspeeds appear in front of a flashing background.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Fry's Bedroom. The dream ends and Fry suddenly wakes up.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Fry's Bedroom. The dream ends and Fry suddenly wakes up.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|33}}'''Fry''': What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep.</poem>
:''[He falls asleep instantly.]''
:''[He falls asleep instantly.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express: Lounge. The staff sit around the table.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express: Lounge. The staff sit around the table.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|44}}'''Fry''': So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?</poem>
<poem>'''[[Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Of course.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|47}}'''[[Turanga Leela|Leela]]''': Of course.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': But, how is that possible?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|48}}'''Fry''': But, how is that possible?</poem>
<poem>'''[[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]]''': It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. ''[He holds up an egg and injects it with liquid. The egg explodes, covering him and Leela in yolk.]'' Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|01|49}}'''[[Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth|Farnsworth]]''': It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. ''[He holds up an egg and injects it with liquid. The egg explodes, covering him and Leela in yolk.]'' Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': That's awful. It's like brainwashing.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|00}}'''Fry''': That's awful. It's like brainwashing.</poem>
:''[Leela wipes the yolk from her hair.]''
:''[Leela wipes the yolk from her hair.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|03}}'''Leela''': Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and written in the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|05}}'''Fry''': Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!</poem>
<poem>'''[[Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|20}}'''[[Bender Bending Rodriguez|Bender]]''': Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.</poem>
<poem>'''[[Amy Wong|Amy]]''': Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|24}}'''[[Amy Wong|Amy]]''': Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.</poem>
:''[After a long silence they get up and run out.]''
:''[After a long silence they get up and run out.]''
:''['''Scene''': Alien Overlord &amp; Taylor. The Planet Express staff enter the department store and are immediately preyed on by a saleswoman at the cosmetics stand.]''
:''['''Scene''': Alien Overlord &amp; Taylor. The Planet Express staff enter the department store and are immediately preyed on by a saleswoman at the cosmetics stand.]''
<poem>'''Saleswoman''': Hi! Care to sample the latest fragrance from Calvin Clone?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|45}}'''[[Perfume saleswoman]]''': Hi! Care to sample the latest fragrance from {{w|Calvin Klein|Calvin Clone}}?</poem>
<poem>'''Amy''': No thanks.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|49}}'''Amy''': No thanks.</poem>
:''[The saleswoman sprays her. Amy curses in Chinese and walks away rubbing her eyes.]''
:''[The saleswoman sprays her. Amy curses in [[Cantonese language|Cantonese]] and walks away rubbing her eyes.]''
<poem>'''Saleswoman''': And you, sir?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|52}}'''Perfume saleswoman''': And you, sir?</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': No thanks. I--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|53}}'''Bender''': No thanks. I--</poem>
:''[The saleswoman sprays him. Bender sprays her back with oil, covering her face. She coughs and splutters.]''
:''[The saleswoman sprays him. Bender sprays her back with oil, covering her face. She coughs and splutters.]''
:''[Time Lapse. Leela is sat on a chair at the cosmetics stand. A cosmetologist brushes away her fringe.]''
:''[Time Lapse. Leela is sat on a chair at the cosmetics stand. A cosmetologist brushes away her fringe.]''
<poem>'''Cosmetologist''': What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|02|59}}'''Cosmetologist''': What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.</poem>
:''[She zaps Leela with something and then holds up a mirror. Leela sees her reflection and sighs. The woman has plastered her face in lipstick so she looks like a clown. In the menswear department Fry picks up a box of the briefs.]''
:''[She zaps Leela with something and then holds up a mirror. Leela sees her reflection and sighs. The woman has plastered her face in lipstick so she looks like a clown. In the menswear department Fry picks up a box of the briefs.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Cool. ''[He walks over to a salesman.]'' Can I try these on before I buy them?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|03|13}}'''Fry''': Cool. ''[He walks over to a salesman.]'' Can I try these on before I buy them?</poem>
<poem>'''Salesman''': I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|03|17}}'''Salesman''': I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair.</poem>
:''[He pulls out a pair of smelly underpants and sprays them with deodorant.]''
:''[He pulls out a pair of smelly underpants and sprays them with deodorant.]''
:''['''Scene''': Fitting Room. Fry puts on the briefs and is impressed.]''
:''['''Scene''': Fitting Room. Fry puts on the briefs and is impressed.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|03|27}}'''Fry''': Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!</poem>
:''[He looks in the mirror and sees himself as a muscular man. Two women stand at his side in the mirror. He notices a sign that reads "Objects In The Mirror Are Less Attractive Than They Appear" and sighs.]''
:''[He looks in the mirror and sees himself as a muscular man. Two women stand at his side in the mirror. He notices a sign that reads "Objects In The Mirror Are Less Attractive Than They Appear" and sighs.]''
:''['''Scene''': Alien Overlord &amp; Taylor. In the robot accessories department, Bender, wearing a green sweater, picks up a few cans of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil from a stack and hides them under the sweater.]''
:''['''Scene''': Alien Overlord &amp; Taylor. In the robot accessories department, Bender, wearing a green sweater, picks up a few cans of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil from a stack and hides them under the sweater.]''
<poem>'''Amy''': Hey, Bender! Great new sweater.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|03|48}}'''Amy''': Hey, Bender! Great new sweater.</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|03|50}}'''Bender''': New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!</poem>
:''[He walks off. A hovering CCTV camera follows him. Back in the menswear department, Fry buys the Lightspeeds.]''
:''[He walks off. A hovering CCTV camera follows him. Back in the menswear department, Fry buys the Lightspeeds.]''
<poem>'''Salesman''': $30, please.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|00}}'''Salesman''': $30, please.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': $30? I can't afford that. Unless... ''[He pulls out his wallet.]'' Do you take Visa?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|01}}'''Fry''': $30? I can't afford that. Unless... ''[He pulls out his wallet.]'' Do you take Visa?</poem>
<poem>'''Salesman''': Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|06}}'''Salesman''': Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': American Express?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|08}}'''Fry''': American Express?</poem>
<poem>'''Salesman''': 600 years.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|09}}'''Salesman''': 600 years.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Discover card?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|11}}'''Fry''': Discover card?</poem>
<poem>'''Salesman''': Sorry we don't take Discover.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|12}}'''Salesman''': Sorry we don't take Discover.</poem>
:''[Amy, Leela, Zoidberg and Bender arrive.]''
:''[Amy, Leela, Zoidberg and Bender arrive.]''
<poem>'''Amy''': Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|14}}'''Amy''': Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|17}}'''Fry''': No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?</poem>
<poem>'''Amy''': Quiet. There's an ad coming on.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|23}}'''Amy''': Quiet. There's an ad coming on.</poem>
:''[On the screens, Mom, the woman from the tins of robot oil, sits in a chair knitting. She wears a large, green dress and an apron around her front. Behind her on the wall is a picture of three men dressed in the same grey clothes.]''
:''[On the screens, Mom, the woman from the tins of robot oil, sits in a chair knitting. She wears a large, green dress and an apron around her front. Behind her on the wall is a picture of three men dressed in the same grey clothes.]''
<poem>'''[[Mom|Mom]]''': [on screen] Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|27}}'''[[Mom|Mom]]''': [on screen] Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Hey who's the rocker jockey?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|29}}'''Fry''': Hey who's the rocker jockey?</poem>
<poem>'''Amy''': Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|31}}'''Amy''': Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist.</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': [on screen] Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|34}}'''Mom''': [on screen] Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Mmm, tasty!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|44}}'''Bender''': Mmm, tasty!</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': [on screen] And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|45}}'''Mom''': [on screen] And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!</poem>
:''[She smiles.]''
:''[She smiles.]''
<poem>'''Announcer''': [voice-over; on screen] "Mom", "love" and "screen door" are registered trademarks of Momcorp.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|52}}'''Announcer''': [voice-over; on screen] "Mom", "love" and "screen door" are registered trademarks of Momcorp.</poem>
:''[The tins under Bender's sweater squeak.]''
:''[The tins under Bender's sweater squeak.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|04|57}}'''Fry''': Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil.</poem>
:''[Some tins fall out of Bender's sweater. Seven hovering CCTV cameras surround him. He looks up at them.]''
:''[Some tins fall out of Bender's sweater. Seven hovering CCTV cameras surround him. He looks up at them.]''
<poem>'''Bender''': I'm boned.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|03}}'''Bender''': [[We're boned|I'm boned]].</poem>
<poem>'''[[Smitty and URL|Smitty]]''': Freeze, scuzzbot!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|04}}'''[[Smitty and URL|Smitty]]''': Freeze, scuzzbot!</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Uh, there's obviously been some sort of a mistake here. ''[More tins fall out.]'' I'm sure there's-- ''[More tins fall out.]'' I say I'm sure there's-- ''[Even more tins fall out.]'' That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|05}}'''Bender''': Uh, there's obviously been some sort of a mistake here. ''[More tins fall out.]'' I'm sure there's-- ''[More tins fall out.]'' I say I'm sure there's-- ''[Even more tins fall out.]'' That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable--</poem>
:''[And some more.]''
:''[And some more.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside New New York Police Department. A sign outside reads "Ask About Our Generous Brutality Settlements".]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside New New York Police Department. A sign outside reads "Ask About Our Generous Brutality Settlements".]''
:''['''Cut to''': New New York Police Department. At the front desk Fry counts some money.]''
:''['''Cut to''': New New York Police Department. At the front desk Fry counts some money.]''
<poem>'''Amy''': Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|30}}'''Amy''': Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': [counting] 78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|33}}'''Fry''': [counting] 78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short.</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|38}}'''Leela''': I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet.</poem>
:''[Fry looks through a window and sees the Big Apple Bank.]''
:''[Fry looks through a window and sees the Big Apple Bank.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|43}}'''Fry''': Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open.</poem>
:''['''Scene''': Big Apple Bank. Fry steps forward to the desk and a machine scans his eye.]''
:''['''Scene''': Big Apple Bank. Fry steps forward to the desk and a machine scans his eye.]''
<poem>'''Teller''': Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|51}}'''[[Big Apple Bank teller|Teller]]''': Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|05|56}}'''Fry''': Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?</poem>
:''[The teller takes out an ATM machine from under the desk and blows the dust off it.]''
:''[The teller takes out an ATM machine from under the desk and blows the dust off it.]''
<poem>'''Teller''': Do you still remember your PIN number?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|02}}'''Teller''': Do you still remember your PIN number?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|03}}'''Fry''': Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza.</poem>
<poem>'''Teller''': OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|09}}'''Teller''': OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...</poem>
:''[Fry looks at Amy and Leela.]''
:''[Fry looks at Amy and Leela.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Alright!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|12}}'''Fry''': Alright!</poem>
<poem>'''Teller''': And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|14}}'''Teller''': And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.</poem>
:''[Fry stares for a moment before hyperventilating and foaming at the mouth. He faints.]''
:''[Fry stares for a moment before hyperventilating and foaming at the mouth. He faints.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express: Lounge. The staff celebrate, wearing top hats and drinking champagne.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express: Lounge. The staff celebrate, wearing top hats and drinking champagne.]''
<poem>'''[[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': To Fry.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|29}}'''[[Hermes Conrad|Hermes]]''': To Fry.</poem>
<poem>'''Amy''': Cheers!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|37}}'''Amy''': Cheers!</poem>
:''[They raise their glasses.]''
:''[They raise their glasses.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|38}}'''Leela''': I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|06|41}}'''Bender''': Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.</poem>
:''[And he does.]''
:''[And he does.]''
:''['''Scene''': Le Spa. Fry lives the high life. At Le Spa Fry and Leela get a relaxing massage and Bender gets a buffing.]''
:''['''Scene''': Le Spa. Fry lives the high life. At Le Spa Fry and Leela get a relaxing massage and Bender gets a buffing.]''
:''['''Scene''': Famous-Painting-Shooting. Next, Fry and Leela walk down a corridor past many famous paintings. Fry stops at the Mona Lisa, points to it and buys it. The corridor is just a wall in the open countryside with paintings hanging on it. A man loads the painting into a catapult and fires it. Fry, Bender and Leela raise their lasers and shoot it, blasting it to pieces.]''
:''['''Scene''': Famous-Painting-Shooting. Next, Fry and Leela walk down a corridor past many famous paintings. Fry stops at the Mona Lisa, points to it and buys it. The corridor is just a wall in the open countryside with paintings hanging on it. A man loads the painting into a catapult and fires it. Fry, Bender and Leela raise their lasers and shoot it, blasting it to pieces.]''
:''['''Scene''': Original Cosmic Ray's Pizza. The Planet Express staff are gathered around a table for lunch.]''
:''['''Scene''': Original Cosmic Ray's Pizza. The Planet Express staff are gathered around a table for lunch.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Pizza dinner on me! ''[The others cheer.]'' Just keep the tab under $50 million.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|13}}'''Fry''': Pizza dinner on me! ''[The others cheer.]'' Just keep the tab under $50 million.</poem>
<poem>'''Robot Chef''': Yo! ''[He whistles.]'' I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|18}}'''Robot Chef''': Yo! ''[He whistles.]'' I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|22}}'''Fry''': Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!</poem>
<poem>'''Robot Chef''': [mechanical voice] Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|30}}'''Robot Chef''': [mechanical voice] Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|33}}'''Fry''': Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?</poem>
<poem>'''Robot Chef''': [mechanical voice] Does not compute. Does not compute.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|35}}'''Robot Chef''': [mechanical voice] Does not compute. Does not compute.</poem>
:''[His head explodes.]''
:''[His head explodes.]''
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|40}}'''Farnsworth''': I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': ''What''?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|45}}'''Fry''': ''What''?</poem>
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, ''Zoidberg''?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|46}}'''Farnsworth''': Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, ''Zoidberg''?</poem>
<poem>'''[[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]]''': [defensively] I'm not on trial here.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|52}}'''[[Dr. John A. Zoidberg|Zoidberg]]''': [defensively] I'm not on trial here.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|07|53}}'''Fry''': So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--</poem>
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|01}}'''Zoidberg''': Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!</poem>
:''[He holds his claws to his head and hangs it in shame. Fry sighs.]''
:''[He holds his claws to his head and hangs it in shame. Fry sighs.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|10}}'''Fry''': I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Maybe you're forgetting just how rich you are. ''[He puts his monocle back on.]'' Huh? Huh?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|18}}'''Bender''': Maybe you're forgetting just how rich you are. ''[He puts his monocle back on.]'' Huh? Huh?</poem>
:''['''Scene''': Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A banner outside advertises "With Original Asbestos". On the steps, Fry shakes hands with the landlord and moves in.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A banner outside advertises "With Original Asbestos". On the steps, Fry shakes hands with the landlord and moves in.]''
:''['''Scene''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. Amy, Bender and Leela are already in there. Amy picks up the telephone receiver and looks at it, confused. She puts the receiver over her eyes. Enter Fry.]''
:''['''Scene''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. Amy, Bender and Leela are already in there. Amy picks up the telephone receiver and looks at it, confused. She puts the receiver over her eyes. Enter Fry.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': So? What do you think?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|31}}'''Fry''': So? What do you think?</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': I know you spent a lot of money on this place, Fry, but it's awfully primitive. ''[She stamps the floorboards.]'' The floors are made of such hard wood.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|34}}'''Leela''': I know you spent a lot of money on this place, Fry, but it's awfully primitive. ''[She stamps the floorboards.]'' The floors are made of such hard wood.</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|39}}'''Bender''': Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': What's wrong with it?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|43}}'''Fry''': What's wrong with it?</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|44}}'''Bender''': Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.</poem>
<poem>'''Amy''': That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|50}}'''Amy''': That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.</poem>
:''[She rolls her sleeve up to reveal her obscene tattoo which appears blurred. Bender whistles and Leela chuckles.]''
:''[She rolls her sleeve up to reveal her obscene tattoo which appears blurred. Bender whistles and Leela chuckles.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': That's cute!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|08|55}}'''Leela''': That's cute!</poem>
:''['''Scene''': Staadgi &amp; Staadgi Auctioneers. In the crowded room Fry bids for something.]''
:''['''Scene''': Staadgi &amp; Staadgi Auctioneers. In the crowded room Fry bids for something.]''
<poem>'''Auctioneer''': Sold!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|00}}'''[[Auctioneer]]''': Sold!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Yes!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|01}}'''Fry''': Yes!</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|02}}'''Leela''': I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': I have an idea for a sitcom.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|07}}'''Fry''': I have an idea for a sitcom.</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|09}}'''Bender''': Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|14}}'''Leela''': You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.</poem>
:''[Bender chuckles.]''
:''[Bender chuckles.]''
<poem>'''Bender''': Yeah, it is cute.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|19}}'''Bender''': Yeah, it is cute.</poem>
:''[He plays with a "Knock 'Em, Sock 'Em" toy. One little robot punches the others head off and Bender screams.]''
:''[He plays with a "Knock 'Em, Sock 'Em" toy. One little robot punches the others head off and Bender screams.]''
<poem>'''Auctioneer''': Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|24}}'''Auctioneer''': Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Anchovies?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|31}}'''Fry''': Anchovies?</poem>
<poem>'''Auctioneer''': The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|32}}'''Auctioneer''': The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 15,000!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|39}}'''Fry''': 15,000!</poem>
<poem>'''Man''': 20!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|40}}'''Man''': 20!</poem>
:''[A rich Decapodian woman stands up.]''
:''[A rich Decapodian woman stands up.]''
<poem>'''Decapodian Woman''': 30! No, 40!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|41}}'''Decapodian Woman''': 30! No, 40!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 50,000!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|43}}'''Fry''': 50,000!</poem>
:''[The other bidders whisper to each other.]''
:''[The other bidders whisper to each other.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|46}}'''Leela''': Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Don't tell me how to spend my money.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|49}}'''Fry''': Don't tell me how to spend my money.</poem>
<poem>'''Auctioneer''': 50 going once, twice--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|51}}'''Auctioneer''': 50 going once, twice--</poem>
:''[He raises his gavel.]''
:''[He raises his gavel.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': 75,000.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|53}}'''Mom''': 75,000.</poem>
:''[The bidders gasp. Mom stands at the back of the room with the three men from the picture in the ad.]''
:''[The bidders gasp. Mom stands at the back of the room with the three men from the picture in the ad.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|09|57}}'''Leela''': Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 100,000.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|01}}'''Fry''': 100,000.</poem>
:''[More whispering from the bidders.]''
:''[More whispering from the bidders.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|05}}'''Leela''': Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.</poem>
:''[Mom looks in her purse.]''
:''[Mom looks in her purse.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|12}}'''Mom''': Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 500!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|16}}'''Fry''': 500!</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': Oh, mercy be. A million.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|17}}'''Mom''': Oh, mercy be. A million.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Two.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|18}}'''Fry''': Two.</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': Six.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|19}}'''Mom''': Six.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 14!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|20}}'''Fry''': 14!</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|21}}'''Mom''': I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.</poem>
:''[Fry stands up and raises his hand.]''
:''[Fry stands up and raises his hand.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': One ''jillion'' dollars.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|27}}'''Fry''': One ''jillion'' dollars.</poem>
:''[The bidders gasp.]''
:''[The bidders gasp.]''
<poem>'''Auctioneer''': Sir, that's not a number.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|30}}'''Auctioneer''': Sir, that's not a number.</poem>
:''[The bidders gasp again.]''
:''[The bidders gasp again.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Oh. In that case, 50 million.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|33}}'''Fry''': Oh. In that case, 50 million.</poem>
:''[Mom turns to three men behind her.]''
:''[Mom turns to three men behind her.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': Well, boys, your old mother knows when she's been beat. ''[She turns to Fry.]'' You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|38}}'''Mom''': Well, boys, your old mother knows when she's been beat. ''[She turns to Fry.]'' You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.</poem>
:''[The other bidders murmur.]''
:''[The other bidders murmur.]''
<poem>'''Bidder #1''': Isn't she adorable?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|46}}'''Bidder #1''': Isn't she adorable?</poem>
<poem>'''Bidder #2''': Isn't she sweet?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|47}}'''Bidder #2''': Isn't she sweet?</poem>
:''[The auctioneer bangs his gavel.]''
:''[The auctioneer bangs his gavel.]''
<poem>'''Auctioneer''': What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|10|48}}'''Auctioneer''': What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.</poem>
:''[Fry stands up an cheers himself but the other bidders "boo" him.]''
:''[Fry stands up an cheers himself but the other bidders "boo" him.]''
:''['''Scene''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry wanders around the room in the dark and picks up a box.]''
:''['''Scene''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry wanders around the room in the dark and picks up a box.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Now for some good old 20th century TV.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|00}}'''Fry''': Now for some good old 20th century TV.</poem>
:''[He puts a video tape into the VCR.]''
:''[He puts a video tape into the VCR.]''
<poem>'''Announcer''': [voice-over; on TV] Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|06}}'''Announcer''': [voice-over; on TV] Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Ah, those were the days.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|12}}'''Fry''': Ah, those were the days.</poem>
<poem>'''Announcer''': [voice-over; on TV] Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|14}}'''Announcer''': [voice-over; on TV] Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.</poem>
:''[A knock at the door.]''
:''[A knock at the door.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': [from outside] Fry? Are you there?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|21}}'''Leela''': [from outside] Fry? Are you there?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Eh?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|23}}'''Fry''': Eh?</poem>
:''[Enter Leela and Bender. Fry turns the TV off.]''
:''[Enter Leela and Bender. Fry turns the TV off.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|25}}'''Leela''': You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': I've been sitting right here. I picked up my life exactly where I left off a thousand years ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's eight o'clock. Time to get ''biz-ay''!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|29}}'''Fry''': I've been sitting right here. I picked up my life exactly where I left off a thousand years ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's eight o'clock. Time to get ''biz-ay''!</poem>
:''[Fry turns the stereo on and Sir Mix-a-Lot's  plays. Leela turns it off.]''
:''[Fry turns the stereo on and Sir Mix-a-Lot's  plays. Leela turns it off.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|43}}'''Leela''': You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|46}}'''Fry''': I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|49}}'''Leela''': Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|52}}'''Fry''': I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|54}}'''Leela''': But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|11|58}}'''Bender''': Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|05}}'''Fry''': Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.</poem>
:''[He gets up and walks towards the door. Bender turns around.]''
:''[He gets up and walks towards the door. Bender turns around.]''
<poem>'''Bender''': [sadly] ''I'm'' a thing.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|12}}'''Bender''': [sadly] ''I'm'' a thing.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Just leave me alone.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|13}}'''Fry''': Just leave me alone.</poem>
:''[Fry opens the door and Leela and Bender walk out.]''
:''[Fry opens the door and Leela and Bender walk out.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Fry, please-- ''[Fry slams the door and Leela knocks.]'' (from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|18}}'''Leela''': Fry, please-- ''[Fry slams the door and Leela knocks.]'' (from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|22}}'''Fry''': I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.</poem>
:''[He kisses the tin of anchovies.]''
:''[He kisses the tin of anchovies.]''
:''['''Scene''': Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building Corridor. Mom walks towards her office, followed by her sons. Walt has a full head of black hair, Larry has blond hair and Ignar has a tuft of purple hair.]''
:''['''Scene''': Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building Corridor. Mom walks towards her office, followed by her sons. Walt has a full head of black hair, Larry has blond hair and Igner has a tuft of purple hair.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': Mercy me, what a day.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|35}}'''Mom''': Mercy me, what a day.</poem>
:''['''Cut to''': Mom's Office.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Mom's Office.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': Could you shut the door, Ignar, dear? I think I feel a draught coming on. ''[Ignar closes the door and Mom's torso open up, revealing it to be just a body suit. A thinner but just as old a woman jumps out.]'' Holy crap, that bastard's itchy! ''[She snaps her fingers.]'' Walt! Cream soda!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|36}}'''Mom''': Could you shut the door, Igner, dear? I think I feel a draught coming on. ''[Igner closes the door and Mom's torso open up, revealing it to be just a body suit. A thinner but just as old a woman jumps out.]'' Holy crap, that bastard's itchy! ''[She snaps her fingers.]'' Walt! Cream soda!</poem>
<poem>'''[[Walt, Larry and Ignar|Walt]]''': Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|49}}'''[[Walt, Larry and Igner|Walt]]''': Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.</poem>
<poem>'''[[Walt, Larry and Ignar|Larry]]''': But, Mom said--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|52}}'''[[Walt, Larry and Igner|Larry]]''': But, Mom said--</poem>
:''[Walt slaps him.]''
:''[Walt slaps him.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': You heard me.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|12|53}}'''Walt''': You heard me.</poem>
:''[Mom drinks the can of soda, throws it down then lights a cigarette.]''
:''[Mom drinks the can of soda, throws it down then lights a cigarette.]''
<poem>'''[[Walt, Larry and Ignar|Ignar]]''': What's wrong, Mommy?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|02}}'''[[Walt, Larry and Igner|Igner]]''': What's wrong, Mommy?</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|04}}'''Mom''': It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!</poem>
:''[She cackles. Walt joins in, followed by Larry and Ignar. Walt slaps Larry.]''
:''[She cackles. Walt joins in, followed by Larry and Igner. Walt slaps Larry.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': Quiet, you!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|24}}'''Walt''': Quiet, you!</poem>
:''[Time Lapse. Mom sits behind a huge desk.]''
:''[Time Lapse. Mom sits behind a huge desk.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': As you boys know, one of the cornerstones of my empire is Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil. Think of it: 10 billion robots, each one needing an oil change every 3000 miles. You don't have to do the math to know that's a ''buttload'' of oil.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|29}}'''Mom''': As you boys know, one of the cornerstones of my empire is Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil. Think of it: 10 billion robots, each one needing an oil change every 3000 miles. You don't have to do the math to know that's a ''buttload'' of oil.</poem>
<poem>'''Ignar''': Can I wear your fat suit?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|45}}'''Igner''': Can I wear your fat suit?</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': [shouting] No, Ignar, put that down!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|46}}'''Mom''': [shouting] No, Igner, put that down!</poem>
:''[Ignar drops the fat suit arm and groans.]''
:''[Igner drops the fat suit arm and groans.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': What does this have to do with the anchovies?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|49}}'''Walt''': What does this have to do with the anchovies?</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': I'm getting to the freaking anchovies. ''[She turns on a TV displaying an anchovy.]'' A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|13|51}}'''Mom''': I'm getting to the freaking anchovies. ''[She turns on a TV displaying an anchovy.]'' A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.</poem>
<poem>'''Larry''': Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|00}}'''Larry''': Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': [shouting] No, it isn't! Shut your filthy trap! ''[Walt slaps Larry.]'' (talking) Thank you, Walt. If anyone ever got a hold of anchovy DNA, they could chop out the oil-making gene, stick it in a bunch of Third-World kids and ''bam''! Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|02}}'''Mom''': [shouting] No, it isn't! Shut your filthy trap! ''[Walt slaps Larry.]'' (talking) Thank you, Walt. If anyone ever got a hold of anchovy DNA, they could chop out the oil-making gene, stick it in a bunch of Third-World kids and ''bam''! Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|19}}'''Walt''': My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.</poem>
:''['''Cut to''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry sits in the dark watching ''Sanford &amp; Son''.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry sits in the dark watching ''Sanford &amp; Son''.]''
<poem>'''Fred''': [on TV] Esther, you ugly!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|29}}'''Fred''': [on TV] Esther, you ugly!</poem>
:''[Fry laughs.]''
:''[Fry laughs.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building: Mom's Office.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building: Mom's Office.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|32}}'''Mom''': We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': Mother, you are one clever old skag!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|37}}'''Walt''': Mother, you are one clever old skag!</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': And don't you forget it!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|40}}'''Mom''': And don't you forget it!</poem>
<poem>'''Larry''': But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|42}}'''Larry''': But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': That part will be easy, thanks to the nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|44}}'''Mom''': That part will be easy, thanks to the nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit.</poem>
:''[She puts another tape in. The scene at Big Apple Bank replays on the TV.]''
:''[She puts another tape in. The scene at Big Apple Bank replays on the TV.]''
<poem>'''Teller''': [on TV] Do you still remember your PIN number?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|51}}'''Teller''': [on TV] Do you still remember your PIN number?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': [on TV] Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza. ''[The tape rewinds.]'' It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|52}}'''Fry''': [on TV] Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza. ''[The tape rewinds.]'' It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda--</poem>
:''[Mom turns the TV off.]''
:''[Mom turns the TV off.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': You know what needs to be done.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|14|58}}'''Mom''': You know what needs to be done.</poem>
<poem>'''Larry''': What?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|04}}'''Larry''': What?</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': [shouting] Get his PIN number, you idiots! ''[She zips up her fat suit.]'' (talking) Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|05}}'''Mom''': [shouting] Get his PIN number, you idiots! ''[She zips up her fat suit.]'' (talking) Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.</poem>
:''['''Scene''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. There is a knock at the door.]''
:''['''Scene''': Historic 20th Century Apartment. There is a knock at the door.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': [from outside] Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|15}}'''Walt''': [from outside] Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for.</poem>
<poem>'''Larry''': [from outside] We're here to tighten your drain.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|19}}'''Larry''': [from outside] We're here to tighten your drain.</poem>
:''[The sounds of Walt's hand meeting Larry's face is heard. Fry opens the door.]''
:''[The sounds of Walt's hand meeting Larry's face is heard. Fry opens the door.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': I didn't order any--</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|25}}'''Fry''': I didn't order any--</poem>
:''[Walt and Ignar jump on Fry and hold him down.]''
:''[Walt and Igner jump on Fry and hold him down.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|27}}'''Walt''': Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.</poem>
:''[Larry puts some tablets in Fry's mouth and strokes them down his throat.]''
:''[Larry puts some tablets in Fry's mouth and strokes them down his throat.]''
<poem>'''Larry''': That's a good boy.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|32}}'''Larry''': That's a good boy.</poem>
:''[Fry falls unconscious.]''
:''[Fry falls unconscious.]''
:''['''Scene''': Pizzeria Set. Fry comes around and sees a disguised Walt wearing a fake handlebar moustache.]''
:''['''Scene''': Pizzeria Set. Fry comes around and sees a disguised Walt wearing a fake handlebar moustache.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': Wake up, Mr. Fry.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|39}}'''Walt''': Wake up, Mr. Fry.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Where am I?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|41}}'''Fry''': Where am I?</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|42}}'''Walt''': You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': That sounds like me but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|48}}'''Fry''': That sounds like me but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': No, you only "dreamed" you were in the year 3000.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|53}}'''Walt''': No, you only "dreamed" you were in the year 3000.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': So I'm really back? That's exactly what I wanted, I guess. Who are you?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|15|56}}'''Fry''': So I'm really back? That's exactly what I wanted, I guess. Who are you?</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': I'm Mr. Panucci.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|01}}'''Walt''': I'm Mr. Panucci.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': You are? Did you grow a moustache since last night?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|03}}'''Fry''': You are? Did you grow a moustache since last night?</poem>
:''[Walt tears off the moustache.]''
:''[Walt tears off the moustache.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': No. Now go work the currency register, I think I hear a customer coming. ''[No one enters.]'' I said, "I think I hear a customer coming"!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|07}}'''Walt''': No. Now go work the currency register, I think I hear a customer coming. ''[No one enters.]'' I said, "I think I hear a customer coming"!</poem>
:''[Backstage, Larry forces a dress over Ignar's head while Pamela Anderson's head in jar sits on a table.]''
:''[Backstage, Larry forces a dress over Igner's head while Pamela Anderson's head in jar sits on a table.]''
<poem>'''Anderson''': Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to the Head Museum.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|16}}'''Anderson''': Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to the Head Museum.</poem>
<poem>'''Larry''': Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|19}}'''Larry''': Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza.</poem>
:''[He picks up the jar and puts it on Ignar's head.]''
:''[He picks up the jar and puts it on Igner's head.]''
<poem>'''Anderson''': OK. But I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|31}}'''Anderson''': OK. But I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.</poem>
:''[On the set, Fry notices something on a sign above him.]''
:''[On the set, Fry notices something on a sign above him.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Hey, look! Anchovies!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|37}}'''Fry''': Hey, look! Anchovies!</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': Of course. They're not extinct yet. And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|38}}'''Walt''': Of course. They're not extinct yet. And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson!</poem>
:''[Ignar walks in.]''
:''[Igner walks in.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Ooh!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|51}}'''Fry''': Ooh!</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': Hello, Fry. Remember me from ''Baywatch: The Movie''?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|53}}'''Anderson''': Hello, Fry. Remember me from ''Baywatch: The Movie''?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Uh...</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|56}}'''Fry''': Uh...</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|16|57}}'''Anderson''': It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion.</poem>
<poem>'''Walt''': [whispering] It hasn't been made yet.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|01}}'''Walt''': [whispering] It hasn't been made yet.</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': [whispering] Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|02}}'''Anderson''': [whispering] Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?</poem>
:''[Walt shakes his head.]''
:''[Walt shakes his head.]''
<poem>'''Walt''': Nope.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|04}}'''Walt''': Nope.</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': Crap!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|05}}'''Anderson''': Crap!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool! What can I get you?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|06}}'''Fry''': Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool! What can I get you?</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large ... uh ... line?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|10}}'''Anderson''': Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large ... uh ... line?</poem>
:''[Larry whispers from backstage.]''
:''[Larry whispers from backstage.]''
<poem>'''Larry''': [whispering] Soda!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|15}}'''Larry''': [whispering] Soda!</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large soda!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|16}}'''Anderson''': Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large soda!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Uh, cheese and a-- ''[Walt immediately picks up the boxed pizza and soda from under the counter.]'' That was quick!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|20}}'''Fry''': Uh, cheese and a-- ''[Walt immediately picks up the boxed pizza and soda from under the counter.]'' That was quick!</poem>
<poem>'''Anderson''': So. What do I owe you?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|24}}'''Anderson''': So. What do I owe you?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 10.77. Same as my PIN number.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|27}}'''Fry''': 10.77. Same as my PIN number.</poem>
:''[Walt, Larry, Ignar and Anderson laugh. Fry, unsure, just laughs along with them.]''
:''[Walt, Larry, Igner and Anderson laugh. Fry, unsure, just laughs along with them.]''
<poem>'''Ignar''': Hey! You don't get to laugh.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|37}}'''Igner''': Hey! You don't get to laugh.</poem>
:''[He hits Fry on the head with Anderson's jar.]''
:''[He hits Fry on the head with Anderson's jar.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A white limo pulls up outside and the sons throw Fry out onto the pavement. There are bags of money in the limo. Ignar drives.]''
:''['''Scene''': Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A white limo pulls up outside and the sons throw Fry out onto the pavement. There are bags of money in the limo. Igner drives.]''
<poem>'''Ignar''': Thanks a billion!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|45}}'''Igner''': Thanks a billion!</poem>
:''[He laughs. Larry counts the cash in the back.]''
:''[He laughs. Larry counts the cash in the back.]''
<poem>'''Larry''': More like 4.3 billion!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|46}}'''Larry''': More like 4.3 billion!</poem>
:''[He laughs with Ignar. Walt slaps them both.]''
:''[He laughs with Igner. Walt slaps them both.]''
<poem>'''Ignar''': Ow!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|49}}'''Igner''': Ow!</poem>
<poem>'''Larry''': Ow!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|17|50}}'''Larry''': Ow!</poem>
:''[The limo speeds off and Fry blacks out.]''
:''[The limo speeds off and Fry blacks out.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Fry's Dream. Pizza's, "1077"'s and anchovy tins float around him. Leela's and Bender's heads float towards him.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Fry's Dream. Pizza's, "1077"'s and anchovy tins float around him. Leela's and Bender's heads float towards him.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now and you're really here.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|01}}'''Fry''': Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now and you're really here.</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': Since when do you care about us?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|08}}'''Leela''': Since when do you care about us?</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|10}}'''Bender''': We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': No, that's not true!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|14}}'''Fry''': No, that's not true!</poem>
:''[Leela and Bender float away.]''
:''[Leela and Bender float away.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': Goodbye-ee!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|16}}'''Leela''': Goodbye-ee!</poem>
<poem>'''Bender''': Whee!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|18}}'''Bender''': Whee!</poem>
:''[A pack of Lightspeeds appear in the corner.]''
:''[A pack of Lightspeeds appear in the corner.]''
<poem>'''Announcer''': [voice-over] This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|21}}'''Announcer''': [voice-over] This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs.</poem>
:''['''Cut to''': Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. Fry comes to. A repo-bot walks out of his apartment with his TV.]''
:''['''Cut to''': Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. Fry comes to. A repo-bot walks out of his apartment with his TV.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait a minute! Hey, buddy, what year is this?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|24}}'''Fry''': Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait a minute! Hey, buddy, what year is this?</poem>
<poem>'''Repo-bot''': Uh, 3000.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|31}}'''Repo-bot''': Uh, 3000.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': 3000? Yes! I'm still in the future! Life is wonderful! ''[He sees what the repo-bot is carrying.]'' Wait! What are you doing with my stuff?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|33}}'''Fry''': 3000? Yes! I'm still in the future! Life is wonderful! ''[He sees what the repo-bot is carrying.]'' Wait! What are you doing with my stuff?</poem>
<poem>'''Repo-bot''': Uh, cheque bounced. We're taking it all back.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|40}}'''Repo-bot''': Uh, cheque bounced. We're taking it all back.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Oh, no! My ATM card! My secret PIN number -- 1077. I've got nothing left. Except...</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|44}}'''Fry''': Oh, no! My ATM card! My secret PIN number -- 1077. I've got nothing left. Except...</poem>
:''[He pulls the tin of anchovies out of his sock.]''
:''[He pulls the tin of anchovies out of his sock.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express: Lounge. Leela and Bender sit on the couch and Farnsworth sits at the table.]''
:''['''Scene''': Planet Express: Lounge. Leela and Bender sit on the couch and Farnsworth sits at the table.]''
<poem>'''Leela''': You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|55}}'''Leela''': You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?</poem>
<poem>'''Farnsworth''': Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call ''me'' mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...</poem>
<poem>{{tt|18|59}}'''Farnsworth''': Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call ''me'' mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...</poem>
:''[He walks out, still blabbering. Enter Fry.]''
:''[He walks out, still blabbering. Enter Fry.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|15}}'''Fry''': Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': You did? What happened?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|17}}'''Leela''': You did? What happened?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': I was robbed. They got everything except these.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|19}}'''Fry''': I was robbed. They got everything except these.</poem>
:''[He holds up the anchovies.]''
:''[He holds up the anchovies.]''
<poem>'''Bender''': Who did?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|22}}'''Bender''': Who did?</poem>
:''[Leela gasps. Mom stands in the doorway wearing her fat suit.]''
:''[Leela gasps. Mom stands in the doorway wearing her fat suit.]''
<poem>'''Mom''': Hello, Fry.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|24}}'''Mom''': Hello, Fry.</poem>
<poem>'''Leela''': It's Mom!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|25}}'''Leela''': It's Mom!</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet, young man by buying his anchovies.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|26}}'''Mom''': I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet, young man by buying his anchovies.</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for sale.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|34}}'''Fry''': Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for sale.</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': What? Listen, you little bastard. I control the robot oil business and I won't let you ruin me. How much do you want?</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|37}}'''Mom''': What? Listen, you little bastard. I control the robot oil business and I won't let you ruin me. How much do you want?</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': You might as well put that chequebook away, because I've discovered something even more important: My friends. And they aren't worth even a penny to me. ''[Bender and Leela look at each other.]'' That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|44}}'''Fry''': You might as well put that chequebook away, because I've discovered something even more important: My friends. And they aren't worth even a penny to me. ''[Bender and Leela look at each other.]'' That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like.</poem>
<poem>'''Mom''': Holy hell! You're going to ''eat'' them? Oh, well. Just make sure you eat them all, you're a growing boy. Toodle-oo! ''[She walks out.]'' Dumb ass!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|19|59}}'''Mom''': Holy hell! You're going to ''eat'' them? Oh, well. Just make sure you eat them all, you're a growing boy. Toodle-oo! ''[She walks out.]'' Dumb ass!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': What a nice lady!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|09}}'''Fry''': What a nice lady!</poem>
:''[Time Lapse. The whole staff except for Zoidberg are gathered around the table. Fry opens the tin of anchovies.]''
:''[Time Lapse. The whole staff except for Zoidberg are gathered around the table. Fry opens the tin of anchovies.]''
<poem>'''Fry''': OK, my friends. Get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|17}}'''Fry''': OK, my friends. Get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.</poem>
<poem>'''Amy''': I don't know, I've had cow. ''[The staff tuck in. Everyone except Fry spits out their pizza.]'' Ew! Gross!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|23}}'''Amy''': I don't know, I've had cow. ''[The staff tuck in. Everyone except Fry spits out their pizza.]'' Ew! Gross!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll grow on you.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|32}}'''Fry''': Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll grow on you.</poem>
:''[Enter Zoidberg. He sniffs.]''
:''[Enter Zoidberg. He sniffs.]''
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': That stench. That heavenly stench! ''[He gobbles up the rest of the pizza.]'' More!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|37}}'''Zoidberg''': That stench. That heavenly stench! ''[He gobbles up the rest of the pizza.]'' More!</poem>
<poem>'''Fry''': There aren't any more. And there never will be.</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|46}}'''Fry''': There aren't any more. And there never will be.</poem>
:''[Zoidberg tips the table over and moves towards Fry, raising his claws.]''
:''[Zoidberg tips the table over and moves towards Fry, raising his claws.]''
<poem>'''Zoidberg''': More! More! More! ''More''!</poem>
<poem>{{tt|20|48}}'''Zoidberg''': More! More! More! ''More''!</poem>
:''[Closing Credits.]''
:''[Closing Credits.]''
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Latest revision as of 23:22, 13 June 2013

Transcript for
A Fishful of Dollars
Written byPatric M. Verrone
Transcribed byThe Neutral Planet
[Scene: Fry's Bedroom. Fry is awoken by squeaking bed springs from the apartment next door. He growls.]

(00:08)Fry: I can't take it anymore! They've been at it for hours! [He bangs on the wall.] (shouting) Give it a rest, you two!

[Cut to: Apartment 00111001. The robots sit playing poker. They have springy bodies which are constantly squeaking. One of the robots oils his springs.]

(00:20)Robot: [shouting] Sorry!

[Opening Credits. Caption: Loading...]
[Scene: Fry's Bedroom. Fry sleeps.]
[Fade to: Fry's Dream. He is in a packed lecture hall. An old teacher stands at the front of the room. She wears frosted half-moon glasses and has grey hair.]

(00:56)Teacher: Good morning, class. I trust you've all prepared for today's final exam.

(01:00)Fry: Uh, excuse me? I missed a few lectures. Uh, what subject is this?

(01:05)Teacher: Ancient Egyptian algebra.

[She points to the blackboard, revealing it is filled with Egyptian hieroglyphs. Fry gasps.]

(01:08)Fry: What a nightmare!

(01:09)Teacher: Mister Fry, are those your underpants? [Fry looks down and sees he is wearing only his briefs. He stands up and the whole class laughs and points. He gasps.] Young man, I think it's time you learned a lesson about Lightspeed brand briefs.

[She pulls down a poster showing the briefs.]

(01:22)Announcer: [voice-over] Lightspeed fits today's active lifestyle. Whether you're on the job ... [Fry suddenly appears in a company meeting wearing just Lightspeeds.] ... or having fun. [He sits with a woman on a bed.] Lightspeed briefs, style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.

[Like an advertisement, a pair of lightspeeds appear in front of a flashing background.]
[Cut to: Fry's Bedroom. The dream ends and Fry suddenly wakes up.]

(01:33)Fry: What a weird dream! I'll never get back to sleep.

[He falls asleep instantly.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. The staff sit around the table.]

(01:44)Fry: So you're telling me they broadcast commercials into people's dreams?

(01:47)Leela: Of course.

(01:48)Fry: But, how is that possible?

(01:49)Farnsworth: It's very simple. The ad gets into your brain just like this liquid gets into this egg. [He holds up an egg and injects it with liquid. The egg explodes, covering him and Leela in yolk.] Although, in reality, it's not liquid, but gamma radiation.

(02:00)Fry: That's awful. It's like brainwashing.

[Leela wipes the yolk from her hair.]

(02:03)Leela: Didn't you have ads in the 20th century?

(02:05)Fry: Well, sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines and movies and at ball games, on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No, sir-ee!

(02:20)Bender: Quit squawking, flesh wad. Nobody's forcing you to buy anything.

(02:24)Amy: Yeah. I mean we all have commercials in our dreams but you don't see us running off to buy brand-name merchandise at low, low prices.

[After a long silence they get up and run out.]
[Scene: Alien Overlord & Taylor. The Planet Express staff enter the department store and are immediately preyed on by a saleswoman at the cosmetics stand.]

(02:45)Perfume saleswoman: Hi! Care to sample the latest fragrance from Calvin Clone?

(02:49)Amy: No thanks.

[The saleswoman sprays her. Amy curses in Cantonese and walks away rubbing her eyes.]

(02:52)Perfume saleswoman: And you, sir?

(02:53)Bender: No thanks. I--

[The saleswoman sprays him. Bender sprays her back with oil, covering her face. She coughs and splutters.]
[Time Lapse. Leela is sat on a chair at the cosmetics stand. A cosmetologist brushes away her fringe.]

(02:59)Cosmetologist: What a lovely face. We just need to draw attention away from the eye area.

[She zaps Leela with something and then holds up a mirror. Leela sees her reflection and sighs. The woman has plastered her face in lipstick so she looks like a clown. In the menswear department Fry picks up a box of the briefs.]

(03:13)Fry: Cool. [He walks over to a salesman.] Can I try these on before I buy them?

(03:17)Salesman: I'm afraid I can't let you open the package. But you can try on the demo pair.

[He pulls out a pair of smelly underpants and sprays them with deodorant.]
[Scene: Fitting Room. Fry puts on the briefs and is impressed.]

(03:27)Fry: Ooh! Ho, ho, ho!

[He looks in the mirror and sees himself as a muscular man. Two women stand at his side in the mirror. He notices a sign that reads "Objects In The Mirror Are Less Attractive Than They Appear" and sighs.]
[Scene: Alien Overlord & Taylor. In the robot accessories department, Bender, wearing a green sweater, picks up a few cans of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil from a stack and hides them under the sweater.]

(03:48)Amy: Hey, Bender! Great new sweater.

(03:50)Bender: New? What sweater? I came in with it. I don't know you people!

[He walks off. A hovering CCTV camera follows him. Back in the menswear department, Fry buys the Lightspeeds.]

(04:00)Salesman: $30, please.

(04:01)Fry: $30? I can't afford that. Unless... [He pulls out his wallet.] Do you take Visa?

(04:06)Salesman: Visa hasn't existed for 500 years.

(04:08)Fry: American Express?

(04:09)Salesman: 600 years.

(04:11)Fry: Discover card?

(04:12)Salesman: Sorry we don't take Discover.

[Amy, Leela, Zoidberg and Bender arrive.]

(04:14)Amy: Hey! You're springing for Lightspeed? Pretty ritzy!

(04:17)Fry: No, I can't afford them. Being poor sucks. What kind of world is this where they advertise things not everybody can afford?

(04:23)Amy: Quiet. There's an ad coming on.

[On the screens, Mom, the woman from the tins of robot oil, sits in a chair knitting. She wears a large, green dress and an apron around her front. Behind her on the wall is a picture of three men dressed in the same grey clothes.]

(04:27)Mom: [on screen] Hello, shoppers. It's me, Mom!

(04:29)Fry: Hey who's the rocker jockey?

(04:31)Amy: Guh! It's Mom. The world's most huggable industrialist.

(04:34)Mom: [on screen] Call me old-fashioned, but when my robot starts to squeak like an old screen door, well, that's when I reach for a can of Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil.

(04:44)Bender: Mmm, tasty!

(04:45)Mom: [on screen] And remember: Mom's oil is made with 10% more love than the next leading brand!

[She smiles.]

(04:52)Announcer: [voice-over; on screen] "Mom", "love" and "screen door" are registered trademarks of Momcorp.

[The tins under Bender's sweater squeak.]

(04:57)Fry: Hey, Bender. Sounds like you could use a little of that oil.

[Some tins fall out of Bender's sweater. Seven hovering CCTV cameras surround him. He looks up at them.]

(05:03)Bender: I'm boned.

(05:04)Smitty: Freeze, scuzzbot!

(05:05)Bender: Uh, there's obviously been some sort of a mistake here. [More tins fall out.] I'm sure there's-- [More tins fall out.] I say I'm sure there's-- [Even more tins fall out.] That is, I'm sure there's ... a very ... reasonable--

[And some more.]
[Scene: Outside New New York Police Department. A sign outside reads "Ask About Our Generous Brutality Settlements".]
[Cut to: New New York Police Department. At the front desk Fry counts some money.]

(05:30)Amy: Do we have enough money to pay Bender's fine?

(05:33)Fry: [counting] 78, 79, 79.50. Crud! We're 50 cents short.

(05:38)Leela: I'd love to chip in but Bender stole my wallet.

[Fry looks through a window and sees the Big Apple Bank.]

(05:43)Fry: Hey, that's my old bank. Maybe my account's still open.

[Scene: Big Apple Bank. Fry steps forward to the desk and a machine scans his eye.]

(05:51)Teller: Hmm. We don't seem to have your retina scan, your fingerprint or your colonic map on file.

(05:56)Fry: Yeah, well, I did open the account over a thousand years ago. What about my ATM card?

[The teller takes out an ATM machine from under the desk and blows the dust off it.]

(06:02)Teller: Do you still remember your PIN number?

(06:03)Fry: Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza.

(06:09)Teller: OK, you had a balance of 93 cents...

[Fry looks at Amy and Leela.]

(06:12)Fry: Alright!

(06:14)Teller: And at an average of two-and-a-quarter percent interest over a period of 1000 years, that comes to ... $4.3 billion.

[Fry stares for a moment before hyperventilating and foaming at the mouth. He faints.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. The staff celebrate, wearing top hats and drinking champagne.]

(06:29)Hermes: To Fry.

(06:37)Amy: Cheers!

[They raise their glasses.]

(06:38)Leela: I know Fry's rich, but do we really have to wear these top hats?

(06:41)Bender: Maybe you don't understand just how rich he is. In fact, I think I'd better put on a monocle.

[And he does.]
[Scene: Le Spa. Fry lives the high life. At Le Spa Fry and Leela get a relaxing massage and Bender gets a buffing.]
[Scene: Famous-Painting-Shooting. Next, Fry and Leela walk down a corridor past many famous paintings. Fry stops at the Mona Lisa, points to it and buys it. The corridor is just a wall in the open countryside with paintings hanging on it. A man loads the painting into a catapult and fires it. Fry, Bender and Leela raise their lasers and shoot it, blasting it to pieces.]
[Scene: Original Cosmic Ray's Pizza. The Planet Express staff are gathered around a table for lunch.]

(07:13)Fry: Pizza dinner on me! [The others cheer.] Just keep the tab under $50 million.

(07:18)Robot Chef: Yo! [He whistles.] I haven't got all day. What kind of pizza yous guys want?

(07:22)Fry: Uh, yeah. We'll have one with everything but anchovies and one with my all time favourite topping, anchovies!

(07:30)Robot Chef: [mechanical voice] Invalid selection. (normal voice) Yo, what are you talking about?

(07:33)Fry: Anchovies? You know? Those little headless fish?

(07:35)Robot Chef: [mechanical voice] Does not compute. Does not compute.

[His head explodes.]

(07:40)Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but the anchovy has been extinct since the 2200's.

(07:45)Fry: What?

(07:46)Farnsworth: Oh, my, yes. Fished to death. Just about the time your people arrived on Earth wasn't it, Zoidberg?

(07:52)Zoidberg: [defensively] I'm not on trial here.

(07:53)Fry: So none of you has ever had anchovies? Oh, man! You don't know what you're missing. They were all salty and oily and they melted in your mouth and--

(08:01)Zoidberg: Stop! Stop! I admit it! My people ate them all! We kept saying "One more can't hurt" and then they were gone. We're sorry!

[He holds his claws to his head and hangs it in shame. Fry sighs.]

(08:10)Fry: I just wish I could've showed you guys how great they were. I may be rich but I still can't buy back all the things I miss from the 20th century.

(08:18)Bender: Maybe you're forgetting just how rich you are. [He puts his monocle back on.] Huh? Huh?

[Scene: Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A banner outside advertises "With Original Asbestos". On the steps, Fry shakes hands with the landlord and moves in.]
[Scene: Historic 20th Century Apartment. Amy, Bender and Leela are already in there. Amy picks up the telephone receiver and looks at it, confused. She puts the receiver over her eyes. Enter Fry.]

(08:31)Fry: So? What do you think?

(08:34)Leela: I know you spent a lot of money on this place, Fry, but it's awfully primitive. [She stamps the floorboards.] The floors are made of such hard wood.

(08:39)Bender: Hey! Get a load of this pathetic 20th century TV!

(08:43)Fry: What's wrong with it?

(08:44)Bender: Well, aside from causing eye cancer, these things had a lousy low-definition picture.

(08:50)Amy: That's true. On a TV like this I bet you couldn't even make out my obscene tattoo.

[She rolls her sleeve up to reveal her obscene tattoo which appears blurred. Bender whistles and Leela chuckles.]

(08:55)Leela: That's cute!

[Scene: Staadgi & Staadgi Auctioneers. In the crowded room Fry bids for something.]

(09:00)Auctioneer: Sold!

(09:01)Fry: Yes!

(09:02)Leela: I just don't get it. Who was this Ted Danson, and why would you pay $10,000 for his skeleton?

(09:07)Fry: I have an idea for a sitcom.

(09:09)Bender: Ah, leave him alone, Leela. So he's going a little wacko with his money. It's OK.

(09:14)Leela: You're just saying that because he bought you that antique robot toy.

[Bender chuckles.]

(09:19)Bender: Yeah, it is cute.

[He plays with a "Knock 'Em, Sock 'Em" toy. One little robot punches the others head off and Bender screams.]

(09:24)Auctioneer: Now, our final item: This unopened can of Angry Norwegian brand anchovies circa 1997.

(09:31)Fry: Anchovies?

(09:32)Auctioneer: The last known can in existence guaranteed fresh and edible. Do I hear $10,000?

(09:39)Fry: 15,000!

(09:40)Man: 20!

[A rich Decapodian woman stands up.]

(09:41)Decapodian Woman: 30! No, 40!

(09:43)Fry: 50,000!

[The other bidders whisper to each other.]

(09:46)Leela: Are you crazy? It's a can of old fish.

(09:49)Fry: Don't tell me how to spend my money.

(09:51)Auctioneer: 50 going once, twice--

[He raises his gavel.]

(09:53)Mom: 75,000.

[The bidders gasp. Mom stands at the back of the room with the three men from the picture in the ad.]

(09:57)Leela: Oh, my God! It's Mom! I've never seen her in person before.

(10:01)Fry: 100,000.

[More whispering from the bidders.]

(10:05)Leela: Fry, you can't bid against Mom; she's the richest, most powerful person in the world. And she's so adorable.

[Mom looks in her purse.]

(10:12)Mom: Well, I suppose I could go as high as ... 300,000.

(10:16)Fry: 500!

(10:17)Mom: Oh, mercy be. A million.

(10:18)Fry: Two.

(10:19)Mom: Six.

(10:20)Fry: 14!

(10:21)Mom: I can see the nice young man really wants those little fish. Nevertheless, I'll bid 23 million.

[Fry stands up and raises his hand.]

(10:27)Fry: One jillion dollars.

[The bidders gasp.]

(10:30)Auctioneer: Sir, that's not a number.

[The bidders gasp again.]

(10:33)Fry: Oh. In that case, 50 million.

[Mom turns to three men behind her.]

(10:38)Mom: Well, boys, your old mother knows when she's been beat. [She turns to Fry.] You win, young man. I tip my bonnet to you.

[The other bidders murmur.]

(10:46)Bidder #1: Isn't she adorable?

(10:47)Bidder #2: Isn't she sweet?

[The auctioneer bangs his gavel.]

(10:48)Auctioneer: What a class act! Sold! To the gentleman who bought every item in today's auction.

[Fry stands up an cheers himself but the other bidders "boo" him.]
[Scene: Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry wanders around the room in the dark and picks up a box.]

(11:00)Fry: Now for some good old 20th century TV.

[He puts a video tape into the VCR.]

(11:06)Announcer: [voice-over; on TV] Do you remember a time when chocolate chip cookies came fresh from the oven? Petridge Farm remembers.

(11:12)Fry: Ah, those were the days.

(11:14)Announcer: [voice-over; on TV] Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers.

[A knock at the door.]

(11:21)Leela: [from outside] Fry? Are you there?

(11:23)Fry: Eh?

[Enter Leela and Bender. Fry turns the TV off.]

(11:25)Leela: You haven't been to work in three days. What have you been doing?

(11:29)Fry: I've been sitting right here. I picked up my life exactly where I left off a thousand years ago. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's eight o'clock. Time to get biz-ay!

[Fry turns the stereo on and Sir Mix-a-Lot's plays. Leela turns it off.]

(11:43)Leela: You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music.

(11:46)Fry: I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo.

(11:49)Leela: Fry, this isn't healthy. You're living in the past.

(11:52)Fry: I'm rich! I can live whenever I want.

(11:54)Leela: But we're your friends and we live here in the year 3000.

(11:58)Bender: Yeah! Now are you gonna come to the squid fights with us or sit here wallowing in your prehistoric junk?

(12:05)Fry: Junk? Maybe you can't understand this, but I've finally found what I need to be happy and it's not friends, it's things.

[He gets up and walks towards the door. Bender turns around.]

(12:12)Bender: [sadly] I'm a thing.

(12:13)Fry: Just leave me alone.

[Fry opens the door and Leela and Bender walk out.]

(12:18)Leela: Fry, please-- [Fry slams the door and Leela knocks.] (from outside) My ponytail's caught in the door.

(12:22)Fry: I don't need them. Not when I have my antique videos, my bucket of fossilised KFC and 50 million dollars worth of anchovies.

[He kisses the tin of anchovies.]
[Scene: Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building Corridor. Mom walks towards her office, followed by her sons. Walt has a full head of black hair, Larry has blond hair and Igner has a tuft of purple hair.]

(12:35)Mom: Mercy me, what a day.

[Cut to: Mom's Office.]

(12:36)Mom: Could you shut the door, Igner, dear? I think I feel a draught coming on. [Igner closes the door and Mom's torso open up, revealing it to be just a body suit. A thinner but just as old a woman jumps out.] Holy crap, that bastard's itchy! [She snaps her fingers.] Walt! Cream soda!

(12:49)Walt: Right away, mother. Larry, get your mother a cream soda.

(12:52)Larry: But, Mom said--

[Walt slaps him.]

(12:53)Walt: You heard me.

[Mom drinks the can of soda, throws it down then lights a cigarette.]

(13:02)Igner: What's wrong, Mommy?

(13:04)Mom: It's those damned anchovies. That dirtbag, Fry, must know their secret. And I won't rest until I get my hands on them. No one messes with Mom!

[She cackles. Walt joins in, followed by Larry and Igner. Walt slaps Larry.]

(13:24)Walt: Quiet, you!

[Time Lapse. Mom sits behind a huge desk.]

(13:29)Mom: As you boys know, one of the cornerstones of my empire is Mom's Old Fashioned Robot Oil. Think of it: 10 billion robots, each one needing an oil change every 3000 miles. You don't have to do the math to know that's a buttload of oil.

(13:45)Igner: Can I wear your fat suit?

(13:46)Mom: [shouting] No, Igner, put that down!

[Igner drops the fat suit arm and groans.]

(13:49)Walt: What does this have to do with the anchovies?

(13:51)Mom: I'm getting to the freaking anchovies. [She turns on a TV displaying an anchovy.] A single drop of the anchovies' natural oil would lubricate 10 robots permanently.

(14:00)Larry: Wow, it's a shame they went extinct.

(14:02)Mom: [shouting] No, it isn't! Shut your filthy trap! [Walt slaps Larry.] (talking) Thank you, Walt. If anyone ever got a hold of anchovy DNA, they could chop out the oil-making gene, stick it in a bunch of Third-World kids and bam! Cheap effective robot oil. Enough to put dear, old Mom out of businness.

(14:19)Walt: My God! This Mr. Fry must be a mastermind of the highest order.

[Cut to: Historic 20th Century Apartment. Fry sits in the dark watching Sanford & Son.]

(14:29)Fred: [on TV] Esther, you ugly!

[Fry laughs.]
[Cut to: Mom's Friendly Robot Company Building: Mom's Office.]

(14:32)Mom: We have only one option: We'll have to bankrupt Mr. Fry, so he'll be forced to sell the anchovies to us.

(14:37)Walt: Mother, you are one clever old skag!

(14:40)Mom: And don't you forget it!

(14:42)Larry: But how are we supposed to get Fry's money out of the bank?

(14:44)Mom: That part will be easy, thanks to the nice people at Mom's Old Fashioned Video Surveillance Unit.

[She puts another tape in. The scene at Big Apple Bank replays on the TV.]

(14:51)Teller: [on TV] Do you still remember your PIN number?

(14:52)Fry: [on TV] Sure! It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda back where I used to work, Panucci's Pizza. [The tape rewinds.] It's the price of a cheese pizza and a large soda--

[Mom turns the TV off.]

(14:58)Mom: You know what needs to be done.

(15:04)Larry: What?

(15:05)Mom: [shouting] Get his PIN number, you idiots! [She zips up her fat suit.] (talking) Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked-up teenage sluts.

[Scene: Historic 20th Century Apartment. There is a knock at the door.]

(15:15)Walt: [from outside] Mr. Fry, it's those three plumbers you called for.

(15:19)Larry: [from outside] We're here to tighten your drain.

[The sounds of Walt's hand meeting Larry's face is heard. Fry opens the door.]

(15:25)Fry: I didn't order any--

[Walt and Igner jump on Fry and hold him down.]

(15:27)Walt: Quick! Give him the tranquilliser.

[Larry puts some tablets in Fry's mouth and strokes them down his throat.]

(15:32)Larry: That's a good boy.

[Fry falls unconscious.]
[Scene: Pizzeria Set. Fry comes around and sees a disguised Walt wearing a fake handlebar moustache.]

(15:39)Walt: Wake up, Mr. Fry.

(15:41)Fry: Where am I?

(15:42)Walt: You're in the good old year 2000, working here at Panucci's Pizza. You fell asleep on the job.

(15:48)Fry: That sounds like me but I thought I got frozen. Wasn't I in the future?

(15:53)Walt: No, you only "dreamed" you were in the year 3000.

(15:56)Fry: So I'm really back? That's exactly what I wanted, I guess. Who are you?

(16:01)Walt: I'm Mr. Panucci.

(16:03)Fry: You are? Did you grow a moustache since last night?

[Walt tears off the moustache.]

(16:07)Walt: No. Now go work the currency register, I think I hear a customer coming. [No one enters.] I said, "I think I hear a customer coming"!

[Backstage, Larry forces a dress over Igner's head while Pamela Anderson's head in jar sits on a table.]

(16:16)Anderson: Hurry up, please. I wanna get back to the Head Museum.

(16:19)Larry: Don't worry, Miss Anderson, this won't take long. Now, your motivation is you're back in the year 2000 and your head's still on your body, and you want a cheese pizza.

[He picks up the jar and puts it on Igner's head.]

(16:31)Anderson: OK. But I'm only doing this so people will take my head seriously as an actress.

[On the set, Fry notices something on a sign above him.]

(16:37)Fry: Hey, look! Anchovies!

(16:38)Walt: Of course. They're not extinct yet. And if you need further proof that this is really a thousand years ago, well, here's contemporary actress, Pamela Anderson!

[Igner walks in.]

(16:51)Fry: Ooh!

(16:53)Anderson: Hello, Fry. Remember me from Baywatch: The Movie?

(16:56)Fry: Uh...

(16:57)Anderson: It was the first movie to be shot entirely in slow-motion.

(17:01)Walt: [whispering] It hasn't been made yet.

(17:02)Anderson: [whispering] Then he doesn't know I won the Oscar?

[Walt shakes his head.]

(17:04)Walt: Nope.

(17:05)Anderson: Crap!

(17:06)Fry: Wait. You're Pamela Anderson! Cool! What can I get you?

(17:10)Anderson: Oh, I'll have a cheese pizza and a large ... uh ... line?

[Larry whispers from backstage.]

(17:15)Larry: [whispering] Soda!

(17:16)Anderson: Oh, right! Cheese pizza and a large soda!

(17:20)Fry: Uh, cheese and a-- [Walt immediately picks up the boxed pizza and soda from under the counter.] That was quick!

(17:24)Anderson: So. What do I owe you?

(17:27)Fry: 10.77. Same as my PIN number.

[Walt, Larry, Igner and Anderson laugh. Fry, unsure, just laughs along with them.]

(17:37)Igner: Hey! You don't get to laugh.

[He hits Fry on the head with Anderson's jar.]
[Scene: Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. A white limo pulls up outside and the sons throw Fry out onto the pavement. There are bags of money in the limo. Igner drives.]

(17:45)Igner: Thanks a billion!

[He laughs. Larry counts the cash in the back.]

(17:46)Larry: More like 4.3 billion!

[He laughs with Igner. Walt slaps them both.]

(17:49)Igner: Ow!

(17:50)Larry: Ow!

[The limo speeds off and Fry blacks out.]
[Cut to: Fry's Dream. Pizza's, "1077"'s and anchovy tins float around him. Leela's and Bender's heads float towards him.]

(18:01)Fry: Oh, I had a nightmare I was in the year 2000 and you guys never existed. I'm so glad I'm awake now and you're really here.

(18:08)Leela: Since when do you care about us?

(18:10)Bender: We thought you only cared about cans of anchovies and stuffy old songs about the buttocks.

(18:14)Fry: No, that's not true!

[Leela and Bender float away.]

(18:16)Leela: Goodbye-ee!

(18:18)Bender: Whee!

[A pack of Lightspeeds appear in the corner.]

(18:21)Announcer: [voice-over] This dream brought to you by Lightspeed briefs.

[Cut to: Outside Historic 20th Century Apartments. Fry comes to. A repo-bot walks out of his apartment with his TV.]

(18:24)Fry: Bender! Leela! Don't leave me. Wait a minute! Hey, buddy, what year is this?

(18:31)Repo-bot: Uh, 3000.

(18:33)Fry: 3000? Yes! I'm still in the future! Life is wonderful! [He sees what the repo-bot is carrying.] Wait! What are you doing with my stuff?

(18:40)Repo-bot: Uh, cheque bounced. We're taking it all back.

(18:44)Fry: Oh, no! My ATM card! My secret PIN number -- 1077. I've got nothing left. Except...

[He pulls the tin of anchovies out of his sock.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Leela and Bender sit on the couch and Farnsworth sits at the table.]

(18:55)Leela: You're Fry's relative. Do you have any idea how he got so crazy?

(18:59)Farnsworth: Uh, wha? Oh, yes! They say madness runs in our family. Some even call me mad! And why? Because I dared to dream of my own race of atomic monsters. Atomic supermen with octagonal-shaped bodies that suck blood out of...

[He walks out, still blabbering. Enter Fry.]

(19:15)Fry: Leela! Bender! I missed you so much!

(19:17)Leela: You did? What happened?

(19:19)Fry: I was robbed. They got everything except these.

[He holds up the anchovies.]

(19:22)Bender: Who did?

[Leela gasps. Mom stands in the doorway wearing her fat suit.]

(19:24)Mom: Hello, Fry.

(19:25)Leela: It's Mom!

(19:26)Mom: I felt terrible when I heard about your money troubles and I thought maybe I could help out a sweet, young man by buying his anchovies.

(19:34)Fry: Sorry. But the anchovies aren't for sale.

(19:37)Mom: What? Listen, you little bastard. I control the robot oil business and I won't let you ruin me. How much do you want?

(19:44)Fry: You might as well put that chequebook away, because I've discovered something even more important: My friends. And they aren't worth even a penny to me. [Bender and Leela look at each other.] That's why these anchovies are going on a pizza, so I can share the food I love with the people I like.

(19:59)Mom: Holy hell! You're going to eat them? Oh, well. Just make sure you eat them all, you're a growing boy. Toodle-oo! [She walks out.] Dumb ass!

(20:09)Fry: What a nice lady!

[Time Lapse. The whole staff except for Zoidberg are gathered around the table. Fry opens the tin of anchovies.]

(20:17)Fry: OK, my friends. Get ready for the most delicious extinct animal you've ever tasted.

(20:23)Amy: I don't know, I've had cow. [The staff tuck in. Everyone except Fry spits out their pizza.] Ew! Gross!

(20:32)Fry: Ah, no one likes them at first but they'll grow on you.

[Enter Zoidberg. He sniffs.]

(20:37)Zoidberg: That stench. That heavenly stench! [He gobbles up the rest of the pizza.] More!

(20:46)Fry: There aren't any more. And there never will be.

[Zoidberg tips the table over and moves towards Fry, raising his claws.]

(20:48)Zoidberg: More! More! More! More!

[Closing Credits.]