Transcript:Radiorama

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Transcript for
Radiorama
Written byDavid X. Cohen, Ken Keeler and Patric M. Verrone
Transcribed byJasonbres
[The Futurama theme song is heard.]

Transition Announcer: Coming to you direct from the 31st century, it's Futurama, the show that never dies, but is so sick, it lost its video! Brought to you by Boch the Avenger's Borax Flakes! When you want flakes, why not try Borax?

[The theme song ends.]

Transition Announcer: One morning, the Planet Express crew was meeting in the conference room, when suddenly, the Professor entered with good news. Let's listen, shall we?

[Door opens.]

Farnsworth: Good news, everyone! Your favorite cancelled TV show is coming back in the form of a low-budget podcast!

[Everyone cheers.]

Fry: Wait, what show are we talking about?

Farnsworth: All My Circuits, of course. The robot soap opera starring legendary acting unit, Calculon.

Fry: Oh, right. We used to watch that every day after work, and during work! Why'd we stop?

Leela: Because Calculon died. Twice!

Farnsworth: Yes, in agony. But luckily, his voice box survived. And, like all actors, his mouth works independtly of his brain.

Amy: Hey, Bender, you're here, too! Weren't you on All My Circuits once?

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!

[Inexplicable cheers and applause.]

Bender: And, yes, Amy, I was. I played Calculon's swarthy Latino son, Antonio Calculon, Jr.

Hermes: I remember dat, mon. You were voted Worst Actor of All Time.

Bender: That's fake news! There were millions of illegal voters! A lot of people are sayin' I was the best ever!

Zoidberg: Guess who's also here? It's Zoidberg, why not! [woops]

Bender: Shut up, Zoidberg, I'm still talkin'! Okay, now I'm done,

Fry: Psst, Leela!

Leela (loudly): Yeah?!

Fry: Shhh! I made you a present, and I'd like to give it to you! In private.

Leela: Oh, Fry, that's so thoughtful depending on what it is.

Fry: It's in the basement, just down this long greasy staircase.

[Door creaks open. Footsteps. Fry and Leela trip and slip.]

Scruffy: Welcome to the basement.

Fry: Scruffy? What are you doing down here?

Scruffy: Just finished greasin' the sta'rs. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go loosen the chandelier.Mm-hm.

[Scruffy walks away.]

Leela: So where's that present I've been hearing not enough about?

Fry: Right over here. Just let me turn it on... and...

[Electrical humming. Zap.]

Fry: Tada! It took me weeks get every detail just right. Do ya like it?

Leela: I'm not sure. What the hell is it?

Fry: What does it look like?

Leela: Uh, a jumble of flashing blobs that give me a headache?

Fry: What?! How can you say that?! It's a a realistic self-portrait of me! I've been learning the art of 3-D laser sculpture.

Leela: And you thought I'd like that?! I can't see in stereo, Fry! I only have one eye!

Fry: Oops. I forgot.

Leela: You forgot the main thing about me?! The thing that defines my existence?!

Fry: [stammers] You also have purple hair.

Leela: That's it! Our on again-off again relationship is officially off!

Fry: Again?

Leela: Permanently! I've told you fifty times I can't see in 3-D! But it's like you can't hear my voice!

Transition Announcer: Picking up the 3-D sculpture, Leela carefully scaled the greasy stairs and stormed back into the conference room.

[Door opens.]

Leela: Can you believe this piece of junk Fry gave me?

[Crash! The crew gives awed reactions.]

Zoidberg: What a magnificent nude sculpture of Fry!

Leela: Nude?