Difference between revisions of "Transcript:That Darn Katz!"

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:'''Amy''': As it spins, it's producing an enormous {{w|magnetic field}}. If we could use that field to generate electrical current, we could actually harness the Earth's rotational ener... Ener... '[She sneezes.]''
:'''Amy''': As it spins, it's producing an enormous {{w|magnetic field}}. If we could use that field to generate electrical current, we could actually harness the Earth's rotational ener... Ener... '[She sneezes.]''
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, the Earth's rotational ener-kerchoo. Go on.
:'''Farnsworth''': Yes, the Earth's rotational ener-kerchoo. Go on.
:'''Amy''': Sorry, I'm super {{w|Allergy|allergic}} to cats. Professor Katz, do you mind.
:'''Amy''': Sorry, I'm super-{{w|Allergy|allergic}} to cats. Professor Katz, do you mind.
:'''Katz''': Miss Wong, I mind everything. We will now vote yea or nay. Nay.
:'''Katz''': Miss Wong, I mind everything.  
:'''Amy''': ''[Holding a model.]'' You just need to polarize the Earth's core with a huge static charge, ''[The cat starts toying with the model.]'' by ratcheting {{w|Superconductor|Superconducting}} wire down into... ''[She sneezes.]''
:'''Katz''': Enough. The committee members will now vote now vote yea or nay. Nay.
:'''Wernstrom''': Nay.
:'''Wernstrom''': Nay.
:'''Tate''': Hell nay!
:'''Tate''': Hell nay.
:'''Shpeekenshpell''': ''[He spins to a {{w|Horse}}.]'' The horse says, {{w|doctorate}} denied.
:'''Shpeekenshpell''': ''[He spins to a {{w|Horse}}.]'' The horse says, ''{{w|doctorate}} denied.''

Revision as of 12:57, 9 March 2011

Transcript for
That Darn Katz!
Written byJosh Weinstein
Transcribed byTeyrn of Highever Kifcroaker


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Announcer: [voice-over] Cash, cash, cash for your bones! To many bones? Not enough cash? Call Cash Bone! Ribs, skulls, spines, even certain tiny ear bones. The leg bone's connected to the Cash Bone!
[Opening Credits: Or similar product.]
[Scene: Planet Express, Lounge. Nibbler is burying Dark Matter in his litter box.]
Leela: Aw! Nibbler made a bobo for Mamma. I'll pick it up with my super-dupey poopy scoopy. [Nibbler grumbles. A truck can be heard backing up and Leela enters the room, driving a fork-lift.]
[Pan to: Planet Express, Sub Basement.]
Amy: Core magnetic field, 31 microteslas.
Prof. Farnsworth: Nice.
Amy: Temperature? Woah! The magma P.I. is 10,000 degrees Selleck! [Leela is emptying Nibbler's litter box in the magma. Amy swears in Cantonese.] Leela, I am collecting data. Can't you dump that somewhere else.
Leela: Not really. It's highly volatile Dark Matter, and some corn.
Amy: But I'm presenting my thesis tomorrow and I've barely had time to prepare.
Farnsworth: Nonsense. You've been my grad student for twelve years. You were ready six years ago.
Amy: What?
Farnsworth: I probably should have told you. Anyway, the important thing is to be relaxed tomorrow.
Amy: Are you sure?
Farnsworth: Yes. Do what you young people do to unwind. Take a joyride in your jalopy. Wear a T-shirt and eat a fish stick. Go!
[Scene: The Hip Joint. Fry, Leela, Bender, Nibbler, Amy and Kif are sitting at a table.]
Kif: Okay, amigos, one teensy drink to help Amy relax. [They drink.]
Amy: Hmmm. I guess I'm still kinda nervous.
Leela: One more teensy drink to help Amy relax. [They press buttons on their glasses and they refill by themselves. They drink again.]
Fry: Still a little nervous? [Amy burps.]
Bender: She's a nervous wreck! [They refill and drink again.]
[Time Lapse: Bender, Fry, Kif and Amy are all dancing. They are clearly drunk. Kif is still drinking.
Leela: [At the table with Nibbler.] Well, I may not have a man, but at least I've got you, poopsie-doodle. [She pinches his cheek.]
Nibbler: [He drinks.] Leela, it's time you and I had a talk.
Leela: A talk? You can't break up with me. You're my pet!
Nibbler: As much as I enjoy being the object of your misplaced affections, I am also a highly sophisticated being that longs for intelligent conversation.
Leela: Aw, is shnookums not feeling schtimuwated?
Nibbler: An understatement, to say the least. It's time you treated me with respect.
Leela: If you want to be treated like a fellow crew member, fine, but no more purse rides, and no more dressing ypu up in your cute little sailor suit.
Nibbler: I keep telling you, that's my real naval uniform.
[Time Lapse: Kif and Amy are still dancing. They kiss.]
Kif: Your place or mine? Both, but first, this place. [She drags him to the floor. Kif laughing nervously the entire time.]
Hedonism Bot: [Seeing the two of them.] Ooh! Room for one more? [He laughs saucily.]
[Scene: Amy's apartment. Her Alarm Clock goes off. It reads 8:50.]
Amy: I thought I set you for 7:15!
Alarm Clock: Sorry, I hooked up with Bender last night. Dude was all over my snooze button.
Amy: But my doctoral exam is in ten minutes! On Mars! [She runs out of bed but steps in something.] Eww! Kif, did you yack on the floor?
Kif: [He is the puddle Amy walked in.] Yes, I did.
[Scene: Mars University. A Giant Pulsating Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste. A man is stroking a white cat.]
Morris Katz: Where's your candidate, Farnsworth. I have a long list of students to humiliate today. [A door opens and Kif, Leela, Bender, Fry and Amy walk in.] You're late, Miss Wong.
Amy: Oh, God, this is like one of those nightmares. [She is in only her bra and underpants. She screams.]
Farnsworth: Here, take my lab coat. [He offers it to her. He only has suspenders and his underpants underneath it.]
Katz: Allow me to introduce your examining committee in order of grumpiness. Professor Ogden Wernstrom.
Farsnworth: Wernstrom!
Katz: Downtown Professor of Applied Physics, Ethan 'Bubblegum' Tate.
Tate: I see by your curriculum vitæ that you're a Sagittarius.
Katz: And Professor Fisherprice Shpeekenshpell.
Shpeekenshpell: The cow says... [He makes a "moo" sound.]
Farnsworth: [Whispering to Bubblegum.] He proved that 50 years ago, and he's been coasting on it ever since.
Katz: I am the esteemed Professor Morris Katz, and you are wasting my time. Proceed.
Amy: Imagine, if you will...
Katz: Oh, God!
Amy: A gigantic spherical generator, one that could provide unlimited energy, because it's in essential Perpetual Motion.
Wermstrom: [He and Katz scoff, loudly] Young lady, have you been drinking?
Amy: Well, yes, but that's not revelant. I'm talking about Earth. Earth's the generator. [Shpeekenshpell lands on a sheep and makes a bleating noise.] Suppose this basketball is the whole world.
Tate: [He is spinning a basketball on his finger.] To many young men in the inner city, it is.
Amy: As it spins, it's producing an enormous magnetic field. If we could use that field to generate electrical current, we could actually harness the Earth's rotational ener... Ener... '[She sneezes.]
Farnsworth: Yes, the Earth's rotational ener-kerchoo. Go on.
Amy: Sorry, I'm super-allergic to cats. Professor Katz, do you mind.
Katz: Miss Wong, I mind everything.
Amy: [Holding a model.] You just need to polarize the Earth's core with a huge static charge, [The cat starts toying with the model.] by ratcheting Superconducting wire down into... [She sneezes.]
Katz: Enough. The committee members will now vote now vote yea or nay. Nay.
Wernstrom: Nay.
Tate: Hell nay.
Shpeekenshpell: [He spins to a Horse.] The horse says, doctorate denied.