Difference between revisions of "Transcript:The Duh-Vinci Code"
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:'''Fry''': I never stop to think about it. | :'''Fry''': I never stop to think about it. | ||
:'''[[Leela]]''': Aw, leave Fry alone. His intelligence is just a little differenty. | :'''[[Leela]]''': Aw, leave Fry alone. His intelligence is just a little differenty. | ||
:''[Hermes, Leela, | :''[Hermes, Leela, Amy and Zoidberg all nod.]'' | ||
:'''Bender''': ''[Pointing at Fry]'' You a big dummy! | :'''Bender''': ''[Pointing at Fry]'' You a big dummy! | ||
:'''Fry''': Hey, I'm starting to think you all don't think I'm very smart. | :'''Fry''': Hey, I'm starting to think you all don't think I'm very smart. | ||
:'''[[Farnsworth]]''': You can barely remember your own name, {{w|Einstein}}. | :'''[[Farnsworth]]''': You can barely remember your own name, {{w|Einstein}}. | ||
:'''Fry''': Einstein is a hard name to remember. ''[The Professor pokes him with the [[Fing-Longer]]. Ow! | :'''Fry''': Einstein is a hard name to remember. ''[The Professor pokes him with the [[Fing-Longer]]. Ow! | ||
:'''Amy''': Smeesh, Professor. Don't have a [[Coinage#S|schmaneurysm]]. Fry's your distant relative. | :'''[[Amy]]''': Smeesh, Professor. Don't have a [[Coinage#S|schmaneurysm]]. Fry's your distant relative. | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Not distant enough! I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm this monkey's nephew! | :'''Farnsworth''': Not distant enough! I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm this monkey's nephew! | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[He sniffles]'' But you're my only family. Who will hug me if I achieve something | :'''Fry''': ''[He sniffles]'' But you're my only family. Who will hug me if I achieve something? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': Oh, perhaps I've been too harsh. Come lad, take my hand and I'll explain why I find you ''so'' repugnant. | :'''Farnsworth''': Oh, perhaps I've been too harsh. Come lad, take my hand and I'll explain why I find you ''so'' repugnant. | ||
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express, The Professor's study]'' | :''['''Scene:''' Planet Express, The Professor's study]'' | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': All my life I've been inspired by great minds. {{w|Euclid}}, {{w|Copernicus}}, [[Braino]]. And my personal role model, [[Leonardo Da Vinci]]. ''[He gestures to a bust of each.]'' | :'''Farnsworth''': All my life I've been inspired by great minds. {{w|Euclid}}, {{w|Copernicus}}, [[Braino]]. And my personal role model, [[Leonardo Da Vinci]]. ''[He gestures to a bust of each.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': What turned them to stone? | :'''Fry''': What turned them to stone? | ||
:'''Farnsworth''': ''[He slaps his | :'''Farnsworth''': ''[He slaps his forehead and sighs]'' Da Vinci was history's greatest artist and inventor. ''[He pulls up the head of Da Vinci, revealing a button. He presses it. A shelf rises into the ceiling, revealing a lit cabinet with various sketches and models on shelves.]'' ''Voila!'' He invented flying machines, war engines, submarines. | ||
:'''Fry''': ''[He takes a beard from the cabinet]'' Uh-oh! [[Nibbler]] died in the wall. | :'''Fry''': ''[He takes a beard from the cabinet]'' Uh-oh! [[Nibbler]] died in the wall. | ||
:'''Farnsworth:''' That's not Nibbler. That's my most precious possession. Leonardo's beard! I paid a fortune for it at an auction of historic body parts. I suppose if I have an {{w|Achilles Heel}}, it's because I bought it at that same auction. ''[He shows Fry a glass foot with a heel bone in it.]'' | :'''Farnsworth:''' That's not Nibbler. That's my most precious possession. Leonardo's beard! I paid a fortune for it at an auction of historic body parts. I suppose if I have an {{w|Achilles Heel}}, it's because I bought it at that same auction. ''[He shows Fry a glass foot with a heel bone in it.]'' | ||
| Line 46: | Line 46: | ||
:''['''Scene:''' Outside Planet Express.]'' | :''['''Scene:''' Outside Planet Express.]'' | ||
:'''Fry''': Well, I may not have brain smarts, but at least I have street smarts. ''[He is run over by a [[hoverbus]]. | :'''Fry''': Well, I may not have brain smarts, but at least I have street smarts. ''[He is run over by a [[hoverbus]]. | ||
:''['''Scene:''' Planet Express Meeting Room. Fry walks in, he is on crutches, has a broken leg and bandages wrapped around his head.]'' | |||
:'''Fry''': I was in the hospital two weeks. No one visited me. | |||
:'''Farnsworth''': Quiet, you! I'm trying to deduce the function of da Vinci's lost invention. | |||
:'''Fry''': Not even a card. | |||
:'''Farnsowrth''': He might have hidden a clue in one of his other works. Ergo, I sent Bender out for a copy of the ''{{w|Last Supper}}''. | |||
:'''Bender''': I'm back! Everyone at {{w|Kinko's}} was an idiot, so I just brought the original. ''[He drags in a stone slab with the ''Last Supper'' on it.]'' | |||
:'''[[Zoidberg]]''': {{w|Jesus Christ}} and his {{w|Twelve Apostles}}. | |||
:'''[[Amy]]''': ''[She points to something on the painting.]'' That's odd. This hand here doesn't belong to anybody. And it's pointing a knife at {{w|James the Less|James the Lesser}}! | |||
:'''Bender''': That's the great thing about that hand. | |||
:'''Hermes''': ''[He points to a different part of the painting.]'' And what about these funky table legs? It's like their part of some other, funkier painting. | |||
:'''Zoidberg''': Maybe da Vinci painted over something else. It's called a {{w|pentimento}}. | |||
:'''Farnsworth''': That's true, Dr. Zoidberg. How did you know that? | |||
:'''Zoidberg''': My doctorate is in Art History. | |||
:'''Farnsworth''': Let's see what hidden under the ''Last Supper''. ''[He pressed a remote and a [[High-Powered X-Ray|laser-like device]] descends from the ceiling. It fires at Hermes, allowing us to see through him.]'' | |||
:'''Hermes''': Wait, I'm not big-boned, I'm just fat. | |||
:'''Farnsworth''': ''[He nudges the machine.]'' My God! Look! ''[The crew gasps.]'' | |||
:'''Amy''': My God! I'm looking! | |||
:''[The table legs are revealed to be a wooden robot.]'' | |||
:'''Leela''': My God! Saint James was a robot! | |||
:'''Zoidberg''': My God! Da Vinci left his legs unpainted as a clue. | |||
:'''Farnsworth''': My God! This is the greatest mystery of all time. We must fly to [[Rome]] and exhume the body of Saint James. | |||
:'''Hermes''': Didn't we used to be a delivery company? | |||
:'''Farnsworth''': To the ship! | |||
{{navigation bottom/transcript | {{navigation bottom/transcript | ||
Revision as of 15:00, 7 March 2011
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| Transcript for | |
| The Duh-Vinci Code | |
|---|---|
| Written by | Maiya Williams |
| Transcribed by | Teyrn of Highever |
- [Opening Credits: Put on 3-D monocle now.]
- [Scene: Set of Who Dares to be a Millionaire? Morbo is seated in the center, surrounded by an audience.]
- Morbo: [Angrily] Silence, puny audience. And welcome to Who Dares to be a Millionaire? Tremble before Morbo's mighty likability, [Calmly] while I chitchat with out first contestant, Philip J. Fry.
- [The audience applauds while Fry descends from the ceiling in a rocket powered chair. He waves. A sign reads: "applaud or be destroyed".]
- Bender: [In audience.] Give him hell, Morbo!
- Morbo: [Angrily] Prepare for pleasantries. [Calmly] So Fry, what do you do for a living?
- Fry: Me? Um, can I phone a friend?
- Morbo: [Angrily] Chitchat achieved! [Dramatic music plays, lights turn on and the game begins.] Are you ready to play?
- Fry: I didn't come to play. I came to win. Not let's play.
- Morbo: For $1, what tool is used to hammer a nail? Is it, A, a hammer? B, A nail? C...
- Fry: B, nail! final answer! [A buzzer sounds and Fry's chair blasts off.]
- [Scene: Planet Express meeting room.]
- Hermes: Sweet dodo of Lesotho! Don't you ever stop to think before you speak?
- Fry: I never stop to think about it.
- Leela: Aw, leave Fry alone. His intelligence is just a little differenty.
- [Hermes, Leela, Amy and Zoidberg all nod.]
- Bender: [Pointing at Fry] You a big dummy!
- Fry: Hey, I'm starting to think you all don't think I'm very smart.
- Farnsworth: You can barely remember your own name, Einstein.
- Fry: Einstein is a hard name to remember. [The Professor pokes him with the Fing-Longer. Ow!
- Amy: Smeesh, Professor. Don't have a schmaneurysm. Fry's your distant relative.
- Farnsworth: Not distant enough! I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm this monkey's nephew!
- Fry: [He sniffles] But you're my only family. Who will hug me if I achieve something?
- Farnsworth: Oh, perhaps I've been too harsh. Come lad, take my hand and I'll explain why I find you so repugnant.
- [Scene: Planet Express, The Professor's study]
- Farnsworth: All my life I've been inspired by great minds. Euclid, Copernicus, Braino. And my personal role model, Leonardo Da Vinci. [He gestures to a bust of each.]
- Fry: What turned them to stone?
- Farnsworth: [He slaps his forehead and sighs] Da Vinci was history's greatest artist and inventor. [He pulls up the head of Da Vinci, revealing a button. He presses it. A shelf rises into the ceiling, revealing a lit cabinet with various sketches and models on shelves.] Voila! He invented flying machines, war engines, submarines.
- Fry: [He takes a beard from the cabinet] Uh-oh! Nibbler died in the wall.
- Farnsworth: That's not Nibbler. That's my most precious possession. Leonardo's beard! I paid a fortune for it at an auction of historic body parts. I suppose if I have an Achilles Heel, it's because I bought it at that same auction. [He shows Fry a glass foot with a heel bone in it.]
- Fry: [Wearing the beard] Indeed so. Most indeededly.
- Farnsworth: Careful with that, you fool! [Fry sneezes, causing the beard to separate into individual hairs] No! No! But possibly yes. [A scroll is inside Fry's mouth]
- Fry: What is it, Professor?
- Farnsworth: [He unravels and unfolds the scroll] Oh, my! It's da Vinci's fabled lost invention. Even the scholars who wrote of this device had no idea what it was for. And now, at least, neither do I!
- Fry: Maybe we can figure it out?
- Farnsworth: We? [He cackles insanely]
- [Scene: Outside Planet Express.]
- Fry: Well, I may not have brain smarts, but at least I have street smarts. [He is run over by a hoverbus.
- [Scene: Planet Express Meeting Room. Fry walks in, he is on crutches, has a broken leg and bandages wrapped around his head.]
- Fry: I was in the hospital two weeks. No one visited me.
- Farnsworth: Quiet, you! I'm trying to deduce the function of da Vinci's lost invention.
- Fry: Not even a card.
- Farnsowrth: He might have hidden a clue in one of his other works. Ergo, I sent Bender out for a copy of the Last Supper.
- Bender: I'm back! Everyone at Kinko's was an idiot, so I just brought the original. [He drags in a stone slab with the Last Supper on it.]
- Zoidberg: Jesus Christ and his Twelve Apostles.
- Amy: [She points to something on the painting.] That's odd. This hand here doesn't belong to anybody. And it's pointing a knife at James the Lesser!
- Bender: That's the great thing about that hand.
- Hermes: [He points to a different part of the painting.] And what about these funky table legs? It's like their part of some other, funkier painting.
- Zoidberg: Maybe da Vinci painted over something else. It's called a pentimento.
- Farnsworth: That's true, Dr. Zoidberg. How did you know that?
- Zoidberg: My doctorate is in Art History.
- Farnsworth: Let's see what hidden under the Last Supper. [He pressed a remote and a laser-like device descends from the ceiling. It fires at Hermes, allowing us to see through him.]
- Hermes: Wait, I'm not big-boned, I'm just fat.
- Farnsworth: [He nudges the machine.] My God! Look! [The crew gasps.]
- Amy: My God! I'm looking!
- [The table legs are revealed to be a wooden robot.]
- Leela: My God! Saint James was a robot!
- Zoidberg: My God! Da Vinci left his legs unpainted as a clue.
- Farnsworth: My God! This is the greatest mystery of all time. We must fly to Rome and exhume the body of Saint James.
- Hermes: Didn't we used to be a delivery company?
- Farnsworth: To the ship!
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