Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television

Act I: For I have AMNESIA!
Cubert and Dwight are dreaming of imitating anything they see on TV, particularily anything on All My Circuits, like amnesia which seems to have every character in its grip. As Calculon is throwing a big birthday party on screen, Cubert wants to have a big party too - but do clones even have birthdays? Professor Farnsworth says no, but he concedes that they can celebrate the day he scraped the cells for the cloning process off his back - thirteen years ago next week. Around this time it will be Dwights birthday too, so Hermes has the idea of combining both events in one party at the office and writing it off as business expense. Meanwhile, on "All my Circuits", Antonio Calculon, Jr. is having a technical breakdown, instead the popular show "Everybody loves Hypnotoad" is put on. Dwights and Cuberts party is not a success, no one has turned up except the crew, their families and Tinny Tim, but Bender brings the news that All my Circuits is holding an open casting call for a child robot to replace Antonio Calculon, Jr. and that he is intending to take it. At the audition, Bender boos out every competitor which makes Calculon reject them, and when it is Benders turn, he is accepted because Fry and Leela are cheering madly, despite the fact that Bender can't act worth a damn.

Act II: Now my character has a British accent?
The first shooting in the studio starts with a disappointment for Bender, as his character is supposed to be in a coma. Bender, however, decides to do a little improvisation and does what he does best - singing, dancing, and smoking. Calculon decides to take the scene, as he never does two takes. After seeing the result, Calculon decides to fire Bender. But then, the Execu-Bots who run the network show up and decide that Bender stays on the show, for he stimulates the audience and is likely to make them rich. Bender becomes a TV star by doing the things he loves - smoking, drinking and stealing. Cubert, Dwight and even Tinny Tim embrace their new role model at once and imitate everything they see him do on TV. The Professor and Hermes are apalled and decide to form a protest group, Fathers Against Rude Television a.k.a. F.A.R.T.. Cubert, Dwight and Tim decide to rob Bender in a desperate effort to imitate him without throwing up from drink or cigars.

Act III: I once put a laugh-track on a show that had no jokes in it!
The burglary at Robot Arms Apts. goes as planned, and the three of them throw a huge party for all children they know with the cool stuff they nicked from Bender. The Professor and Hermes crash the party, and Farnsworth finds out with his Cool-O-Meter that Dwight and Cubert are exceptionally cool with all the stuff, and ask where it came from. Cubert and Dwight break down and confess, strenghtening their parents resolve to do something against their role model. Bender suddenly emerges from a safe stolen by the boys, where he was apparently sleeping. At first Bender defends himself, but when he finds out the kids stole from him, he immediately does a 180° turn and now says that Bender should not be allowed on TV himself. Logically he joins F.A.R.T. and organizes a march on Hollywood. He wants to quit, but the network does not let him go and forces him to stay by force of arms. The Professor wants to resort to violence to solve the problem, bringing Bender between the fronts. He tricks both armed persons and seizes their guns so he can hold a climatic speech in peace. He states that violence, crime and drug abuse should not be shown to kids, but that a big share of the blame rests with the parents who just can't shut down the TV once in a while - by simply turning off the TV. With their differences solved, the crew has learned an important lesson - and congregates in front of the TV to celebrate this fact.

Trivia

 * This episode's theme song is remixed with John DiMaggio beatboxing and Billy West providing some "Zoidberg, Zoidberg, Z-Z-Z-Z-Zoidberg" interjections.
 * The title of this episode is directly quoted by Bender.
 * Emotitron Jr. one of the child robots who auditions for the part of Antonio is a spoof of the classic movie Mommie Dearest. While in the episode the mother hits the child screaming "no more hanging wires!" in the movie the mother hits the daughter with clothes hangers screaming "no more wire hangers!".
 * Fry is seen reading a Space Boy in Outer Space comic, the cover of which matches the 1979 issue previously seen in Monkey Sea, Monkey Doom!
 * There is a cardboard cut-out of Slurms MacKenzie facing out Fry and Bender's window.

Quotes

 * Calculon: (referring to Bender's acting audition): That was so awful I think you gave me cancer!
 * Fry: (watching Everybody loves Hypnotoad): This show has been going downhill since Season Three.
 * Bender: Stupid damn coma. I could have been British.
 * Leela: As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. Kids don't turn rotten just by watching TV. Fry: Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools.
 * Bender: Bender should not be allowed on television!
 * Professor Farnsworth: Oh, I'm getting a reading of over forty Mega-Fonzies!
 * Bender: TV would stink if everyone on it was a positive role model.

Inside References

 * The Hypnotoad from "The Day the Earth Stood Stupid" now has its own TV series, Everybody Loves Hypnotoad.

Outside References

 * All My Circuits is running up to new heights of soap opera in this episode, imitating just about every other soap opera. Especially the much-liked amnesia is omnipresent in the first two minutes.
 * The Execu-Bots are a spoof of the executives of every TV network and their weird policies that at times seem like random mental spasms.

Characters

 * Amy
 * Fry
 * Leela
 * Bender
 * Professor Farnsworth
 * Hermes
 * Zoidberg
 * Cubert
 * Donbot
 * Dwight
 * LaBarbara
 * Tinny Tim
 * Calculon
 * Monique
 * Linda
 * Morbo
 * Horrible Gelatinous Blob
 * Brett Blob
 * Hypnotoad
 * Macauley Culkon
 * Emote-atron jr.
 * Sal
 * Debut: Antonio Calculon, Jr.
 * Debut: Execu-Bots
 * Debut': Director

Episode Cast

 * Voice Actors
 * Billy West
 * Katey Sagal
 * John DiMaggio
 * DVD Commentary
 * Matt Groening
 * David X. Cohen
 * Rich Moore
 * Louis Morton
 * Brian Sheesley
 * John DiMaggio
 * Billy West
 * Maurice LaMarche