Old Man Waterfall
|Old Man Waterfall|
|Relatives||See Waterfall family|
|First appearance||"The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz" (3ACV05)|
|Voiced by||Phil Hendrie|
Old Man Waterfall was a lawyer and the great-grandfather of Frida Waterfall. He fought in countless wars, and before his death, was entirely put together with artificial substitutes, as he had lost most of his real body parts throughout the galaxy.
Old Man Waterfall was a strong patriot of Earth and fought in many wars throughout his life, but as much as he loved the Earthican flag, he strongly believed that Dr. Zoidberg's eating of it was protected by the rights of the people who salute the flag. He was Dr. Zoidberg's lawyer against Earth, represented by Hyper-Chicken.
Unfortunately he lost, and when Dr. Zoidberg was sentenced to death, he made off to his people's embassy, where he hid until Earth made an act of war against Decapod 10, which resulted in war, and enslaving of humanity. As Old Man Waterfall tried to fight off the Mobile Oppression Palace, he was crushed by one of its claws.
On many levels he was the most sane member of the Waterfall family, although he did hold some beliefs that were unorthodox even by his family's standards, as he was a polygamist (he had seven wives and a husband) and a Satanist.
Much like the Hyper-Chicken, Old Man Waterfall is modelled on Jimmy Stewart's Academy Award-nominated portrayal of lawyer Paul Biegler in Anatomy of a Murder. Trying a murder case in a small town, Biegler wins over the sceptical jury by repeatedly comparing himself, "a simple country lawyer", to the high-powered prosecutor, Claude Dancer (George C. Scott). The "simple country lawyer" became a model for many following portrayals, notably the entire show Matlock.
- Represents a stereotypical old fashioned bisexual, polygamist, Satanic Redneck.
Bender: And you wanna defend Zoidberg? Are you familiar with the old robot saying "does not compute"?
Old Man Waterfall: Son, to me a robot's just a garbage can with sparks comin' out it.
Bender: [sad] The sparks keep me warm.
Old Man Waterfall: You can crush me, but you can't crush my spirit! [The Mobile Oppression Palace crushes him] Ow! My spirit!
Old Man Waterfall: That's right, I'm a polygamist.
Old Man Waterfall: Yet I would gladly eat a flag myself, had I not used my intestine as a rope to hoist a flag made of my own skin, if it would protect the freedoms of the proud people who salute that flag.
Planet Express Crew: [Cheering]
Old Man Waterfall: Freedom such as polygamy.
Old Man Waterfall: I rest my case. [Leg falls off as he sits] Oh.
Judge: Also, in a rare double whammy decision, the court finds polygamy constitutional.
Old Man Waterfall: I can't wait to tell my husband!
Old Man Waterfall: I request a Satanic funeral!