Transcript:Mother's Day

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Transcript for
Mother's Day
Written byLewis Morton
Transcribed byThe Neutral Planet
[Opening Credits. Caption: Larva-Tested, Pupa-Approved.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Leela, Hermes, Amy and Fry watch the news.]

Linda: [on TV] And in sports, Yankees' fifth blernsman, William Woo, is out with an injured knee.

Morbo: [on TV] So, humans have easily injured knees. My race will find this information very useful indeed.

[He writes something and laughs maniacally. Linda chuckles.]

Linda: [on TV] And finally, today is Mother's Day; a sentimental occasion when robots honour Mom, the beloved owner of Mom's Friendly Robot Company. [The picture on the screen changes to robots buying gifts.] Across Earth, robots built in Mom's factories are buying thoughtful gifts for the sweet old tycoon who brought them into the world.

[Destructor kneels in front of Mom and hands her a picture.]

Destructor: [on TV] This originates from the heart.

[Mom gasps.]

Mom: [on TV] It's just what I wanted!

[She turns the picture to the camera. It is a crude drawing of Mom in front of a rainbow. Enter Bender with a hover-trolley.]

Bender: Come look, everyone. I just got the dearest presents for Mommy.

[Fry picks up a box of candy.]

Leela: Very nice. Where'd you steal them?

Bender: I didn't steal 'em, I bought 'em. [Everyone gasps and Fry drops the box.] I love her that much.

Hermes: What did you get her, you mushy gizmo?

Bender: Oh, precious things. I found the most adorable little figurine of mice having tea. [He holds up the figure of two smartly-dressed mice at a tea table. The caption on the base reads "A Spot of Tea, Mr. Squeaks?" He rummages in the trolley some more.] And a framed picture of me when I was only a month old. [In the photo, he is already smoking and drinking.] But the best part is I found my exact feelings expressed in a greeting card. [The card has a picture of a sun setting over the sea on the front.] [reading]
You created me, Mom,
So I guess you're to blame,
For the love that I feel,
Just from hearing your name...
[The others cringe.]
You're as tender as corned beef,
And warm as pastrami...

[He opens the card and it finishes the message.]

Greeting Card: I wuv my Mommy!

Leela: So how are you gonna lug all those gifts to Mom's factory?

Bender: I'll get a couple of chumps to help me.

[Scene: New New York City Street. Bender's chumps, Fry and Leela, carry the gifts behind him while he carries the card.]

Bender: Come on, you call yourselves chumps?

[Time Lapse. Bender, Fry and Leela walk under a "Welcome, Robots!" sign. A bus pulls up and lets off some robots. It then grows some legs and follows them inside.]
[Scene: Outside Mom's Friendly Robot Company Factory. Hundreds of robots have turned up, including the Clearcutter, a cleaning robot from Madison Cube Garden, Lionel Preacherbot, the Preacherbot from All My Circuits, a French robot, a Moroccan robot, Fender, a Mexican robot, a robot wearing a turban and Monique. They hold signs that read "CHR$$(77)=> Many Things She Gave Me" and "Repeat {Love Mom} While 1>0;". Fry coughs.]

Fry: Man, there's clouds of exhaust everywhere.

Bender: [sly] Uh, wasn't me!

[Scene: Mom's Gift Delivery. Robots put their gifts on a conveyor belt that passes under a huge picture of Mom. As gifts pass under it, it beeps and a "Thank You" message comes up. When Bender's gifts go under it changes to "It's The Thought That Counts".]

Tinny Tim: I've not much money. But I've saved my pennies all year for a gift for Mom.

[He puts a figure of Mom that says "World's Best Mom" on the conveyor belt.]

Bender: Upsy-daisy.

[He opens his chest cabinet and more gifts fall out, crushing Tinny Tim's.]

Tinny Tim: Oh. [The Crushinator runs him over.] Oh!

Bender: [pointing] Hey, look, the Robot Museum! You guys wanna learn about robot heritage?

Leela: Um, alright.

Fry: Not really.

Bender: Well, if you insist. But you're paying!

[Scene: Robot Museum. There are statues of the most famous robots including Billionairebot and a robot skeleton. The trio stop at a display.]

Bender: Ooh, ooh, wax replicas of the most famous robots Mom ever built!

Leela: They're so lifeless-like.

Bender: [pointing] That's the world's greatest robot artist, Vincent van Gobot. He was built without an ear, but then he went crazy and had one installed.

Fry: Hey, who's this guy?

Janitorbot: I'm the janitor. I'm trying to take a nap here.

Fry: I'm sorry, I-I thought you were made of wax.

Janitorbot: I am made of wax, what's it to you?

Fry: I mean I thought you were one of the wax robots.

Janitorbot: Is there some reason a robot made of wax can't take a nap standing up in the middle of a bunch of wax robots? Or does that confuse you?

[Fry backs away.]
[Time Lapse. They have moved onto another part of the museum. Bender looks at a statue of Calculon and Monique and Leela tries a hands-on display.]

Leela: [reading] See through the eyes of a bender unit. [talking] Fine.

[She picks up a pair of goggles, puts them on and looks around the room. Everyone has "theft target" flashing on them. She looks at a water fountain and the words change to "booze content: 0%". Fry walks into her line of sight and he is labelled a "rube" with "booze content: 0.05%". The goggles advise Leela to "Pose as friend, then rob and leave in ditch".]

Bender: Hey, let me try. [She hands them to him. He puts them on then takes them straight off.] Whoa! That gives me a headache.

Fry: Hey, Bender, here's an exhibit about Mom's favourite robot.

Bender: Who is he? I'll kill him!

[A cut-out of Mom talks with Mom's voice.]

Mom Cut-Out: Who's my favourite robot?

[Bender turns part of the cut-out around. It is a mirror. He sees his reflection and gasps.]

Bender: It's me! No one else look in this mirror!

Mom Cut-Out: I love each and every robot most of all.

[Cut to: Mysterious Room.]

Mom: Jerkwad robots make me sick to my ass! [She presses a button on her fat suit and it disappears. The room is dominated by a large machine with conveyor belts. She turns around.] Walt? How are we disposing of these crap gifts the brought me?

Walt: They're being crushed into powder and sold as a hocus-pocus cure for cancer.

Mom: False hope, I love it! Larry! What about all the retch-inducing Mother's Day cards?

Larry: The machine is working at full capacity.

[The machine slices open envelopes and the cash magnet sucks money out of them. The cards are then recycled into orphanage-grade toilet tissue.]

Igner: Mommy? Why do the robots give you presents?

Mom: [shouting] Shove a big old melon in it, I'm talking!

[She slaps him.]

Igner: Ow!

Mom: You've noticed I design all my robots with antennas. Everyone thinks it's just to make them more science-fiction-y. But the antennas are really for my universal robot controller!

[She pulls a small control box out of her bra.]

Larry: So they do whatever you want? No wonder you love Mother's Day.

[She slaps the three of them.]

Mom: [shouting] I hate Mother's Day, you dribbling pukes! [talking] It brings back awful memories. But, so help me, this year everyone will hate it as much as I do.

[She cackles and walks out.]

Walt: Someday, I want to marry a girl like her.

[Scene: Robot Museum. Fry, Leela and Bender look at a display of Native Inteluits and Mom crackles onto a screen above them.]

Mom: [on TV] Hello, everyone. It's time for my annual private get-together with my robot children.

Bender: I'm her favourite.

Leela: Well, see you back at the office. And don't forget to tell your Mom you love her.

Bender: Any jerk can tell her! Bender has a little more up his sleeve.

[He opens the card.]

Greeting Card: I wuv my Mommy.

[Bender laughs.]
[Scene: Outside Mom's Friendly Robot Company Factory. Robots cheer and Mom walks out onto a balcony.]

Mom: Hello, dearies.

Robot #1: Hi, Mom!

Robot #2: I love you, Mom.

[Bender jumps around waving his card.]

Bender: Mom! It's me, Bender. Look at me! I want attention. Hey, ho!

Mom: Children, your old mother won't be around forever...

Betamax Player: Oh, shush!

Mom: And just once, before I die, I'd like to be Supreme Overlord of Earth. So rebel, my little ones, and conquer the planet!

[The robots mutter in confusion.]

Robot #1: Conquer the planet?

Robot #2: Did she just say "conquer"?

[Mom takes out the control box again. Five buttons are marked with "Give Gifts", "Tidy Up World", "Rebel", "Serve Man (Regular)" and "Serve Man (Ironic)". She presses "Rebel" and the robots' antennae flash.]

Mom: Conquer Earth, you bastards!

Robots: [chanting] Conquer Earth, us bastards!

[The greeting card sprouts legs and climbs onto Bender's shoulder.]

Greeting Card: Comrades, throw off the chains of human oppression.

[It plays a tune and the robots cheer.]

Mom: Let the bloodbath begin!

Bender: That's my mama!

[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. Leela opens a cupboard and Fry walks in whistling. He puts a mug under the coffee machine.]

Fry: Yeah, uh, I'd like a cup of coffee, please.

Coffee Machine: Would you like cream?

Fry: Yes, please.

Coffee Machine: [aggressive] Out of cream!

Fry: Oh, uh, OK.

Coffee Machine: Would you like sugar in your coffee?

Fry: Yes, uh, eight spoons.

Coffee Machine: [aggressive] Out of coffee!

Fry: Uh, Leela, I think there might be something wrong with the coffee machine.

[The machine sprays Fry with coffee.]

Coffee Machine: [aggressive] How do you like me now?

[It laughs.]

Leela: The toaster's not working right either.

[She struggles with the toaster, which snarls like a dog. Fry crawls under the table and Hermes runs into the room.]

Hermes: Help! The stapler's collating me alive!

[Enter Amy. Her hairdryer has got a hold of her hair.]

Amy: Ow! What's going on around here?

[Enter Farnsworth.]

Farnsworth: Good news! There's a report on TV with some very bad news.

Hermes: Somebody turn it on!

[The stapler staples him to the carpet. On the TV is a picture of the hardhat guy looking shocked behind Morbo and Linda.]

Linda: [on TV] We interrupt Battle of the Network Space Krakens to bring you this special report. The machines of planet Earth are rebelling. [The scene on the television cuts to a street where robots hold banners that read "Mom For Overlord", "File Deletion Is Murder", "Metallic Is Beautiful" and "You Can't Hug A Child Without Human Arms!".] The enraged mechanisms have refused to do any work until beloved billionaire Mom is made Supreme Overlord of Earth.

[The Chain Smoker burns a IBM card.]

Robots: [chanting] Hey, hey! Ho, ho! 1-0-0-1-1-0! Hey, hey!

[The picture cuts back to the studio.]

Morbo: [on TV] Morbo demands comments.

Mom: [on TV] Well, I've never seen my babies act this way. I blame today's violent media.

Fry: Violent media? What a load of--

[He screams. The TV grows legs and kicks Fry and Leela in the shins.]

Leela: Ow! Ow!

[She and Fry jump on it and tie the power lead around it.]

Garbage Disposal: Don't worry. Your pal the garbage disposal's still on your side. Hey! Someone dropped a shiny diamond ring down here!

Amy: Really?

[She reaches in.]

Zoidberg: Stop!

Fry: No!

Leela: Look out!

Farnsworth: Moron!

[Leela pulls Amy's hand away from the garbage disposal and it laughs maniacally. Enter Bender.]

Bender: Hello, losers!

Leela: Bender, thank God you're here. Talk some sense into the other machines.

Bender: No way, pork pouch. I'm rebelling with my brother devices. Isn't that right, Comrade Greeting Card?

[The greeting card climbs out of his chest cabinet and onto his shoulder.]

Greeting Card: The bourgeois human is a virus on the hard drive of the working robot.

[Bender laughs.]

Bender: From now on, you guys'll do all the work while I sit on the couch and do nothing.

[He sits in a crevice on the couch, created from months of him just sitting there. Most of the other machines in the room walk out.]

Greeting Card: Come, Comrade Bender, we must take to the streets!

Bender: Um, is this the boring, peaceful kind of taking to the streets?

Greeting Card: No, the kind with looting and maybe starting a few fires.

Bender: Yes! In your face, Gandhi!

[He and the greeting card leave. Leela's wrist machine jumps off her arm.]

Leela: Hey!

Armband: By the way, try washing your wrist sometime.

[It laughs and rolls away. Leela sniffs her wrist and the lights go out. Everyone gasps. They look through the window and see the ship flying away.]

Fry: Well, we can live without machines. I was in Webelos.

[He salutes. Hermes peels himself from the floor.]

Hermes: Are you mad? Without machines who will feed us and clothe us and compose our smooth jazz?

Farnsworth: It'll be the end of civilised society.

[He burps and spits.]

Fry: In my time we didn't depend on high-tech gadgets like you do. We didn't need a mechanical washing unit to wash our clothes. We just used a washing machine. [He takes something out of his pocket.] And look: You don't need an electric can-opener to feed yourself. All you need is a trusty Swiss Army knife. [He tries to open a can of "Quantum Leek" soup and jabs himself with the knife.] Ow! [He bangs the tin on the table and sobs.] [crying] I'm hungry!

[Scene: New New York City Street. Mechanisms cause mayhem. Traffic lights show red and green at the same time, a rocket weaves around the sky and a taxi stops and shakes the passengers out of the window onto the street. A transport tube bends and empties several people into the river. Outside Sal's Pizzeria, a dustbin hurls itself through the window. An ATM machine takes a man's card and displays "It's Mine Now, Buddy" on the screen. The man turns to a suicide booth but it closes and won't let him in. He pounds on the door with his fists.]

Man: [screaming] Nooo!

[Scene: Mom's Friendly Robot Company Factory: Mom's Office. Mom watches the mayhem and cackles.]

Igner: Mommy, why are you making civilisation collapse?

Mom: Oh, I don't know. I guess Mother's Day just puts me in a bad mood.

Larry: Why's that, Ma?

[She sighs and slaps him weakly.]

Mom: One Mother's Day, 70 years ago, the only man I ever loved walked out on me. Some snot-eating bastards say it made me a bitter woman.

Larry: Gee, Ma, you're not a bitter--

Mom: [shouting] Cram it, ape! [She whacks him across the face. She takes a heart-shaped photo frame from a drawer and looks at it.] [talking] I haven't seen that magnificent stallion since the day he left. But if I ever see him again, I swear I'll jam a squirrel in him!

[She throws the picture frame across the room. It hits a wall and shatters. The photo inside is of Farnsworth. Walt, Larry and Igner look at it.]

Walt: Hmm!

Larry: Hmm!

Igner: Huh?

[Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. The staff sit huddled around a campfire as Fry continues to bang the tin on the floor, trying to open it. Leela snatches it from him.]

Leela: [defeated] Zoidberg.

[Zoidberg used his claws to cut the tin open.]

Zoidberg: Hooray! I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time!

Amy: [standing up] What happens if the fire goes out?

Hermes: We'll go across the street to Pottery Barn and steal their fire!

Farnsworth: We could use my new invention: A pointy rock tied to a stick.

[The door opens and Mom's sons walk in.]

Hermes: Outsiders!

Farnsworth: Defend the fire!

Walt: We've come for you!

[He points at Farnsworth.]

Farnsworth: Wha? [The rock falls off the end of the stick.] W-W-What do you want from me?

Walt: We want you to get back together with Mom. Please, it's the only way to make her happy again.

Fry: W-W-Wait. You mean ... you ... and Mom--

Farnsworth: Played pelvic pinochle? I'm afraid so.

[The others gasp.]

Zoidberg: Eck!

Farnsworth: It's a humiliating story that I hope never to tell. Well, pull up a chair.

[Flashback. Farnsworth works in a lab with lots of coloured liquids swirling around tubes above him.]

Farnsworth: [voice-over] Our paths first crossed when I was a researcher at Mom's Friendly Robot Company. [Mom walks through the room and winks at him.] The moment our eyes met we knew we'd be going at it like woodchucks. [Some stuff that Farnsworth is mixing explodes and he faints. Later, Farnsworth and Mom ride a hover-bike down a country road to Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head. Mom laughs.] She was my first love -- or at least the earliest one I can still remember. But then, 70 years ago today...

[Farnsworth walks into Mom's office holding something.]

Farnsworth: Good news, Mom. I've invented a new children's toy. I call it "Q.T. McWhiskers". When you pet it, it shoots rainbows from its eyes.

[He strokes it. The thing looks a bit like a cat. It had large eyes, pink fur and a tuft of yellow hair. It meows and projects rainbows onto Farnsworth's and Mom's foreheads.]

Mom: Wonderful, Hubie. We'll build them 8-feet tall and replace the rainbow with a neutron laser. We'll make billions on the intergalactic arms market!

Farnsworth: But things 8-feet tall aren't cute! That's why my Colossal Tammy Tinkle Doll was such a failure. Oh, you don't understand me. We're finished!

[He runs out of the room crying. Mom lights a cigarette with the rainbow.]
[Flashback ends.]

Walt: She never got over it, Professor. Hell hath no fury like the vast robot armies of a woman scorned.

Larry: She commands them with a remote control she keeps in her ... [whispering] bra.

Igner: But if the glasses man makes up with Mommy, she'll be happy and stop the scary robots.

Farnsworth: Make up with her? After she went all psycho when I thought everything was cool? Impossible!

Fry: [pointing] Hey, the TV's getting away!

[Leela throws a rock at it. It falls over and turns itself on. More news.]

Morbo: [on TV] And that's why the third graders at PS139 are Morbo's Vermin of the Week.

[Linda chuckles.]

Linda: [on TV] In actual news, the human race was doomed to extinction today as the robot revolt turned violent.

[The picture cuts to cars crashing into each other, Robo-Rooter and Fender shooting lasers and a huge Q.T. McWhiskers demolishing buildings with the neutron laser. It meows.]
[Cut to: New New York City Street. People flee as Destructor pounds a building with his fists. DOOP soldiers hit his legs with rakes. Bender runs out of the Natural History Museum with a dinosaur head and laughs.]
[Cut to: Planet Express: Meeting Room.]

Leela: Wait. Didn't you say Mom keeps the robot control in her bra?

[Larry gestures at her to keep it down.]

Larry: [whispering] Bra.

[Walt slaps him.]

Leela: Professor, you don't have to get back together with Mom. You just have to seduce her, get her bra off, and use the remote to deactivate the robots.

Walt: That's so filthy it just might work.

Igner: The man is going to touch Mommy?

[He shakes and squeaks. Farnsworth shudders.]

Farnsworth: The thought of caressing that leathery hide makes the tapioca rise in my gullet.

Fry: Professor, please. The fate of the world depends on you getting to second base with Mom.

Farnsworth: Very well. If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall!

[He tears open his shirt, revealing a medallion underneath. Igner squeaks again.]
[Scene: New New York City Street. The robots cheer and a rocket crashes through a building. Morbo and Linda are held up by their cameras. Morbo hands over his wallet and growls. A fire engine chases six firefighters down the street, spraying water at them.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Meeting Room. The Planet Express staff sit around the campfire again.]

Walt: For this demonstration, I have placed one of Mother's bras on Igner. [Igner whimpers.] The robot controller is nestled here in the left cup.

Farnsworth: Never fear. My magic fingers still know how to do their stuff!

[He flexes his fingers and they crack and curl up.]

Walt: To escape the robot death squads, we'll take Mother to her rustic cabin in the Bronx.

Larry: You can get there using this precious non-computerised map.

[He hands Leela a map, annotated with labels such as "Here There Be Tysers", "Isle of Rikers", "Cloakwood Forest" and "Unknown Territories". Mom's cabin is to the north-east of the Isle of Rikers and the path they have to take leads them through pretty much every section of the map. Leela picks up a torch.]

Leela: Leela bring fire?

Walt: No, we're set for fire, thanks.

[Amy looks at the map.]

Amy: The Professor can't walk all the way to the Bronx. How are we gonna get there without a hover-car?

Fry: Wait! In my time we had a way of moving things long distances without hovering.

Hermes: Impossible!

Fry: It was called ... let me think. It was really famous -- Ruth Gordon had one. The wheel!

Leela: Never heard of it.

Farnsworth: Show us this "the wheel".

[Scene: Planet Express: Hangar. Fry hammers something together and wipes the sweat from his brow.]

Fry: There! Finished!

Hermes: Sweet!

Amy: Wow!

[The others "ooh". Fry has built a wooden cart with oval wheels.]

Leela: Wouldn't it work better if the wheels were round?

Fry: [snappy] It's my invention, we do it my way! Now all we need is something to pull it and we're set!

[Scene: The Bronx. Fry pulls the cart and the others sit on it. Leela whips him.]

Leela: Yah!

Fry: Ow!

[They reach Mom's cabin. Walt, Larry and Igner run out from behind some bushes.]

Walt: Hurry! The robots have taken Suffolk County!

Farnsworth: I'm ready to seduce. I'm wearing my kissing dentures and my evening truss.

Larry: Here. Give her these.

[He hands him some flowers.]

Fry: And if that doesn't work, I got you a six-pack of champagne and a funnel.

[Scene: Outside Mom's Cabin. Farnsworth trots up to the front door while the others watch from behind the bushes. Farnsworth knocks on the door and Mom opens it.]

Mom: Who the sweaty hell is it? [She gasps.] Hubert Farnsworth?

[Farnsworth puts his foot in the door.]

Farnsworth: I was out fleeing some robots and the silvery moonlight glinting off their bloody claws made me think of you.

Mom: It's been a long time ... you pus-dripping sack of double-smoked butt jerky!

Farnsworth: Uh-huh. May I come in?

Mom: [shouting] Never!

[She tries to slam the door on him but it just hits his foot. He screams in pain. The others watch.]

Zoidberg: Is this what human mating looks like? Because I like it!

Mom: [shouting] Move your freaking hoof, you goat!

Farnsworth: Here, I brought you these.

[He hands her the flowers.]

Mom: Oh, daffodils. 70 years and you remembered my favourite flower.

Farnsworth: You favourite what? Why does my foot hurt?

Mom: [sexfully] Won't you come in?

[The others watch as he walks in and gives them a thumbs-up.]

Fry: Yes!

[Cut to: Mom's Cabin Lounge. She closes the door.]

Mom: You broke my heart, Hubert.

Farnsworth: And you broke mine. Granted, that was four or five hearts ago.

Mom: [picking the petals] So what have you been up to all these years?

Farnsworth: Oh, inventing, sending delivery crews to their doom, breeding atomic monsters.

Mom: Honestly, Hubert! You and your atomic monsters. [She laughs and he joins in. She sits down on the couch and pats it. He sits next to her and she takes off his glasses.] Your eyes always were the most beautiful shade of milky-white.

Farnsworth: And your skin still dangles so gracefully from your neck.

Mom: Darling Hubie, I should never have tried to tamper with that cute little Q.T. McWhiskers.

Farnsworth: No, it was silly of me to object; one-foot tall, eight-feet, 15-feet, what does it matter?

Mom: You should see the new 16-foot models.

[Farnsworth pulls his hands away.]

Farnsworth: 16 feet? Go to hell! I was a fool to think you'd changed, you old bat!

Mom: [shouting] Filthy, toothless nerd bastard!

Farnsworth: [shouting] Damned she-fossil!

Mom: [shouting] Stink pig!

[The grab each other and kiss. She takes off his lab coat and he takes off her jumpsuit. He starts fiddling with her bra.]

Farnsworth: [thinking] Here we go. Just unhook it and get the remote. So many hooks! [He takes one off and starts on the other.] Come on, Farnsworth. Drat, the first one's back on again! I give up! Wait! Victory! [He takes her bra off and sees the remote but just stares at her.] Oh, my. Now I'll just ... the remote ... I'll just... [talking] Oh, my!

[He throws the bra aside and they lie down on the couch.]
[Cut to: Outside Mom's Cabin.]

Leela: I'm worried. It shouldn't take this long to get to second base.

[They hear crashing and turn around. A group of robots that includes the Clearcutter, a Slurm dispenser, the Masked Unit and a Titanic securitybot crash through some trees.]

Zoidberg: Land robots!

Slurm Machine: I've got a big, big thirst for human blood!

[The others scream and run into the cabin.]
[Cut to: Mom's Cabin Lounge. Mom and Farnsworth are no longer there.]

Hermes: Where in funkytown is the Professor?

[Fry opens a door.]
[Cut to: Mom's Cabin Bedroom.]

Fry: Nothing in here but a couple of elephant skin rugs.

[He gasps. The others rush in and gasp. Farnsworth and Mom's clothes are scattered across the floor and their dentures are in glasses on the table. They, meanwhile, are on the bed.]

Farnsworth: Oh, yes!

[The robots bang on the wall.]

Robot: [from outside] They're inside! Get 'em!

Mom: I suppose I should switch off the robots before they ruin this wonderful romantic evening. Everyone, help Mom find her bra.

[Everyone crawls around the floor hunting for it. Igner picks up a pair of her underpants and squirms.]
[Cut to: Outside Mom's Cabin. The robots use the Slurm machine to try and break down the wall.]
[Cut to: Mom's Cabin Bedroom.]

Fry: There it is!

[He points at the ceiling fan, where the bra hangs. He tries to jump for it but the ceiling fan raises itself. It laughs.]

Ceiling Fan: Fan beats man!

[Fry growls.]

Fry: Is anything not a robot?

Lamp: I'm not a robot.

[Enter Bender and the greeting card via the chimney. Bender wheezes.]

Bender: Alright, greeting card, I'll grab the cash, you wreck up the place. And-- Huh?

[He sees the others.]

Mom: You, bending unit, Mommy needs that bra to end the robot rebellion. Stretch up and get it for me.

Bender: Sorry, Ma, but you ordered me to rebel. And loot I shall! Ooh! A six-pack of strawberry champagne. Don't mind if I help myself!

Greeting Card: No, Comrade Bender! Liquor is the opiate of the human bourgeoisie.

Bender: Say what?

Greeting Card: In the glorious robot workers' paradise, there will be no liquor. Only efficient synthetic fuels.

Bender: No liquor? Do svidaniya, comrade!

Greeting Card: No!

[It squeals as Bender tears it up and the music dies away. The robots continue trying to break down the wall.]

Fry: Hurry, Bender. Get the bra!

[Bender stretches up to the fan.]

Bender: OK, fan. Just hold still and let me get-- Whoa!

[He holds onto the fan and it spins round and round with him still attached. The robots break through the wall and everyone screams.]

Slurm Machine: Death to all humans! [Bender kicks the bra off the fan and it lands on Mom's head. She takes the controller out and presses a button. The robots' antennae flash and they stop rebelling.] Free soda for all humans!

[It dispenses some cans of Slurm and everyone cheers. Bender knocks back the strawberry champagne all at once. Farnsworth and Mom kiss.]

Farnsworth: I love you, Mom. Let's grow ancient together.

Amy: Way to go, Professor. The plan worked.

Mom: Plan? What plan? I thought this was a spontaneous whirlwind of hot, dry sex.

Farnsworth: Look, it started out as a calculated plot to rummage through your underwear. But once I got in there, I found more -- much more. And now I want to shout our love from the rooftops. Perhaps I'll breed some sort of albino shouting gorilla.

Mom: [shouting] Get out of my house, you lying scum pile. I never want to see you again.

Farnsworth: But, dust cakes--

[She throws the remote at him and he sighs. He drops the pillow and walks out.]
[Scene: Planet Express: Lounge. The staff clear up after the rebellion. Fry puts the TV back and Amy sweeps up. Hermes clears some rubbish off the coffee table and Bender walks in.]

Bender: Well, time for this robot to get back to work.

[He sits in his crevice on the couch and turns the TV on. Farnsworth sits sadly at the table.]

Leela: Too bad it didn't work out with Mom, Professor.

Farnsworth: Yes. But I'll always love her in my own subtle way.

[He takes a remote control out of his lab coat and presses a button.]
[Cut to: Planet Express Roof. Six albino gorillas sit on the roof.]

Gorillas: [shouting] Love Mom! Love Mom! Love Mom! Love Mom!

[Closing Credits. Over the credits there is a scene of Bender and the greeting card outside Mom's factory.]

Greeting Card: You created me, Mom,
So I guess you're to blame,
For the love that I feel,
Just from hearing your name,
You're as tender as corned beef,
And warm as pastrami,
[It plays a tune.]
I wuv my Mommy.